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Author Topic: When a DF player smiles.  (Read 5569 times)

Loud Whispers

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When a DF player smiles.
« on: April 25, 2012, 04:12:14 pm »

A migrant shows up.

Carrying this. No metals on the map.
+10 dead caravans

ITT: What is the casualty rate in your fort whenever you smile?

Corai

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Re: When a DF player smiles.
« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2012, 04:13:23 pm »

A kobold is born, and then joins my kobold-camp I dug out for them.

I then pull the lever letting the goblins in.
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Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Hyndis

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Re: When a DF player smiles.
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2012, 06:01:23 pm »

My forts are dedicated entirely to the creation of art.

As part of the creation of art they need a lot of raw materials to work with. This is why I invest so much time and effort into capturing every single goblin who comes to the fortress, as well as their mounts, and turning them into raw materials to produce art with.

I enjoy it when masterful crafters decorate objects with history and glorious past deeds.
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SixOfSpades

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Re: When a DF player smiles.
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2012, 10:11:45 pm »

When my first siege shows up, takes a few seconds looking around the map, and then makes a beeline for the fow of cage traps I have set up. There are just enough visible civilians to keep the goblins (all Lashers) motivated to keep running forward and I discover that I have built . . . exactly the right number of traps.

Total time under siege: 38 seconds.
Time between end of siege and dwarven caravan/liason showing up: 7 seconds.
BOO-yah!
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Dwarf Fortress -- kind of like Minecraft, but for people who hate themselves.

Loud Whispers

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Re: When a DF player smiles.
« Reply #4 on: April 26, 2012, 12:49:11 pm »

When my first siege shows up, takes a few seconds looking around the map, and then makes a beeline for the fow of cage traps I have set up. There are just enough visible civilians to keep the goblins (all Lashers) motivated to keep running forward and I discover that I have built . . . exactly the right number of traps.

;_;

So no one died?

slink

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Re: When a DF player smiles.
« Reply #5 on: April 26, 2012, 12:54:26 pm »

When my upright spear traps on a lever, pulled over and over again by shifts of diligent Dwarves, finally spears one of those nasty little k letters.  YES YES YES!
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Eric Blank

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Re: When a DF player smiles.
« Reply #6 on: April 26, 2012, 03:54:24 pm »

When my militia brutally slaughters a siege with all the skill and expertise expected of a real military force. The perfect plan, carried out flawlessly. Rarely any casualties if they follow my orders, and I like it that way, because I don't like to have to replace them.
But usually they break formation too early because of the variability of their agility stats or one of the morons runs outside to pick up half his gear that he threw on the ground last season. Casualty rates are usually fairly high then because even legendary warriors seem to be useless if outnumbered...


I also smile when my laborers produce some interesting art image, or find some new way to kill themselves that doesn't really affect the fort.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

peskyninja

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Re: When a DF player smiles.
« Reply #7 on: April 26, 2012, 05:25:16 pm »

Titan shows up, fire breathing one. hehehehehe
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Thou son of a b*tch wilt not ever make subjects of Christian sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, f**k thy mother.

DrGravitas

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Re: When a DF player smiles.
« Reply #8 on: April 26, 2012, 06:33:04 pm »

Quote
When a DF player smiles...
‼SCIENCE‼ happens.
« Last Edit: April 26, 2012, 08:09:20 pm by DrGravitas »
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Rinnix

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Re: When a DF player smiles.
« Reply #9 on: April 26, 2012, 08:26:08 pm »

When my kobold architect/expedition leader has went berserk due to a single sturgeon killing off all of his friends. He waits in the lower cavern, carved out for the meeting hall after cornering two others and beating them to death. He leers from the behind the sandy staircase, ready to pounce on anyone decides to go down there for idling. Another is taken by surprise, becoming victim to his violent and bloody building-design-skills. Another. He begins to wait at the bottom of the staircase in seething rage, just waiting for a glimpse of another.
A weaver decides to go take a nap, walking down the hallway to the staircase, and suddenly a kobold who he once knew as a friend lept at him, fiercely beating him with a fresh kobold arm with.
He leaves the corpse and waits for others to massacre. I notice I am starting to enjoy this.
A stoneworker and a clothier trot down the hallway together, disregarding the corpse, and of course, get attacked by the crazed kobold. They both run out into the forest outside being chased, calmly conversing over who should take over as expedition leader. The stoneworker takes the duty and a turn to the left, ditching the clothier. Eventually, a human caravan comes by, and watche as the kobold is chased in circles around the forest. The architect finally catches up to the clothier, and beats him senseless by the river, as the humans linger nearby behind the trees, watching. The killer collapses due to over-exhaustion, and the victim to pain. Eventually I just decide to send the stoneworker to kill the lunatic and perhaps save the severely mangled heap of flesh. He does, although, alas, the victim dies due to blood loss right after, in front of the stoneworker: the last kobold standing. He then abandons the camp.

I know it wasn't the bloodiest massacre in DF by far, but I thought it was hilarious, it being my first experience with Kobold Camp.
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Pukako

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Re: When a DF player smiles.
« Reply #10 on: April 27, 2012, 03:43:44 am »

I smile most when a weapon trap/my militia lets a goblin escape with no limbs remaining.

They move surprisingly fast with no arms or legs....
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Because DF players are heavily into pain.

NRDL

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Re: When a DF player smiles.
« Reply #11 on: April 27, 2012, 03:46:45 am »

When my militia becomes Proficient in a weapon skill. 
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GOD DAMN IT NRDL.
NRDL will roll a die and decide how sadistic and insane he's feeling well you do.

Reudh

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Re: When a DF player smiles.
« Reply #12 on: April 27, 2012, 03:57:42 am »

When a dwarf shows real pluckiness in trying to survive after a critical injury.

When my dwarves manage to head off an ambush, siege, or otherwise any other crisis without me needing to attend to it.

Findulidas

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Re: When a DF player smiles.
« Reply #13 on: April 27, 2012, 05:13:42 am »

When I get a good artifact weapon/armor of steel/candy.
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...wonderful memories of the creeping sense of dread...

Psieye

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Re: When a DF player smiles.
« Reply #14 on: April 27, 2012, 06:33:52 am »

My forts are dedicated entirely to the creation of art.

As part of the creation of art they need a lot of raw materials to work with. This is why I invest so much time and effort into capturing every single goblin who comes to the fortress, as well as their mounts, and turning them into raw materials to produce art with.

I enjoy it when masterful crafters decorate objects with history and glorious past deeds.
This. My industry-focussed forts put a lot of value in organics. Furthermore, I enjoy reading combat logs of the 'raw materials' getting 'processed' into 'ready for use' resources. Especially with the raws edited for more colourful combat log descriptions.
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Military Training EXP Analysis
Congrats, Psieye. This is the first time I've seen a derailed thread get put back on the rails.
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