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Author Topic: Dworphanage  (Read 3646 times)

KitsuneStudios

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Dworphanage
« on: April 12, 2012, 08:38:13 pm »

It is spring of the second year and I got hit my a flood of migrants.

I now have 108 dwarves in my fort. 52 of them are children! When you subtract the original 7, the children migrants have actually outnumbered the adult migrants!

I think the Mountainhome has designated poor Boatsrims as the official dwarven orphanarium.
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KodKod

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Re: Dworphanage
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2012, 08:39:26 pm »

It's not difficult for the children to outnumber the adults these days unless you take preventative measures.

And by preventative measures I mean break their legs.
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Tsuchigumo550

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Re: Dworphanage
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2012, 08:53:20 pm »

Screw that, start building a massive waterfall that mists a section of 2x2 cells. Fill with awesome furniture, bed, war dog, and quantum food hatch. Insert child. Wait. Either you have a battle-hardened soldier that doesn't afraid of anything, or a corpse to deal with.

Your fort population will probably be only 3/4ths of what it is now after you complete the project, at best. Unless you get more orphans.
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Unknown11010

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Re: Dworphanage
« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2012, 09:48:11 pm »

quantum food hatch.

How does one go about making one?
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Niyazov

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Re: Dworphanage
« Reply #4 on: April 12, 2012, 09:50:20 pm »

quantum food hatch.

How does one go about making one?


channel out a tile above a 1x1 food stockpile and designate the hole as a dump site. Dump food into it from above. Remove the forbidden designation once it's been dumped. This lets you store 100s of =cat tallow roast= in a single square without them rotting.
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Niyazov

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Re: Dworphanage
« Reply #5 on: April 12, 2012, 09:58:17 pm »

Screw that, start building a massive waterfall that mists a section of 2x2 cells. Fill with awesome furniture, bed, war dog, and quantum food hatch.

for a 2x2 room at least 8 dogs are needed, at least to start. They don't need to be war dogs. Remember to include female dogs so that dog density increases as the child grows. Other animals are worth experimenting with; I tried this with blind cave bear cubs for a while but the cubs mauled one another to the point that they were all toothless and eyeless, while somehow leaving the children (relatively) unscathed. Of course, if I had let it continue until the bears grew up the kids would've been totally screwed because an adult cave bear is over 3 times the size of an adult dwarf.
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Tsuchigumo550

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Re: Dworphanage
« Reply #6 on: April 12, 2012, 10:26:34 pm »

Now I remember why I joined the fourms- someone comes along with an idea like "kiddie war training cages", and someone then takes that to an art form, and someone else improves it so well that you feel that nothing could ever compare- then someone does it with encrusted yellow diamond and rings of cat leather.
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There are words that make the booze plant possible. Just not those words.
Alright you two. Attempt to murder each other. Last one standing gets to participate in the next test.
DIRK: Pelvic thrusts will be my exclamation points.

Niyazov

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Re: Dworphanage
« Reply #7 on: April 12, 2012, 10:33:17 pm »

Now I remember why I joined the fourms- someone comes along with an idea like "kiddie war training cages", and someone then takes that to an art form, and someone else improves it so well that you feel that nothing could ever compare- then someone does it with encrusted yellow diamond and rings of cat leather.

All in all, I still feel like the whole issue needs more rigorous investigation. Turkeys just really don't seem to do it (also they need nestboxes) and dogs may be a little too likely to inflict serious harm. Fortunately, given the number of kids in my current fort it shouldn't be too much longer until I reach critical dog mass and can start really testing in earnest.
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Mrhappyface

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Re: Dworphanage
« Reply #8 on: April 13, 2012, 10:10:15 am »

I throw them in the caverns. Plenty of fresh water and plump helmets to eat. Teaches you valuable life skills.
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slothen

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Re: Dworphanage
« Reply #9 on: April 13, 2012, 11:48:19 am »

I throw them in the caverns. Plenty of fresh water and plump helmets to eat. Teaches you valuable life skills.

will dwarves gather plants to eat when trapped in caves?
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khearn

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Re: Dworphanage
« Reply #10 on: April 13, 2012, 12:34:52 pm »

They will if you do d-p over the entire caverns.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Dworphanage
« Reply #11 on: April 13, 2012, 04:35:36 pm »

The children won't gather the plants though :|

Babylon

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Re: Dworphanage
« Reply #12 on: April 13, 2012, 04:38:02 pm »

The children won't gather the plants though :|

That's their own faults then, lazy lil bastards.
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Niyazov

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Re: Dworphanage
« Reply #13 on: April 13, 2012, 05:18:17 pm »

The children won't gather the plants though :|

Children can still catch and eat cave spiders, though. And then be caught and eaten by giant cave spiders. It's the dwarven circle of life.
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King DZA

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Re: Dworphanage
« Reply #14 on: April 13, 2012, 05:33:22 pm »

I remember it being a genuinely joyous occasion when a baby was born. My dwarves normally have a habit of being antisocial workaholics, meaning marriages were rare. So having a member of the next generation born on site after the parents had been stuck at "lovers" for the past three years seemed like a special moment. Now, every year it's:

Urist McTanner has given birth to a boy!
Urist McHerbalist has given birth to a girl!
Urist McStonecrafter has given birth to a girl!

"The fuck?"

Urist McCook has given birth to a girl!

"Knock it off!"

Urist McButcher has given birth to a boy!
Urist McThresher has given birth to a girl!

"Goddamn it! STOP-"

Urist McGlassmaker has given birth to a boy!

"MAKING-"

Urist McWoodcutter has given birth to a boy!

"CHILDREN!!!"

Urist McFarmer has given birth to a girl!
Urist Mcfarmer#2 has given birth to a boy!
Urist McFarmer#3 has given birth to a boy!

"FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

It's like I'm mining under a fucking river....Oh well, it's just a little over a decade. After that, they'll go from a sizable legion of useless children, to a sizable legion of somewhat less useless peasants. That's something to look forward to, I guess.
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