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[Kelner]

I'm a novice DF player. My first fortress ended with lots of fun when I've overlooked a tiny bit of evil biome that resulted in wolverine severed undead head rampaging and killing most of my dwarves. The second one was met its demise when a pretty early goblin ambush has massacred my militia, killed half of my dwarves and made me ragequit.

I've therefore decided to take special care with my third fortress. I've found a nice, peaceful spot and started digging with security and military might in mind. A drawbridge was put in front of the entrance, dwarves were conscripted as soon as I could spare any while military industry was put on a high gear. The first goblin ambush was dealt with easily, second and third too. I've ventured into caverns extremely carefully, walling off entire sections, establishing barracks there and killing everything that could pose any threat. The first forgotten beast came and was quickly slaughtered with no losses on my side. The second one couldn't even find a way into my fortress and is currently swimming in a cavern pool and idling. The goblin siege ended with 20 invaders and just one poor axedwarf dead (The poor fella got his arm ripped off and then proceeded to wander around the battlefield with "Pickup equipment" job until he bled out. Kind of reminded me of Omaha Beach scene from Saving Private Ryan with a soldier picking up his own severed arm.).

All in all I felt that my focus on security was paying off and I could finally feel safe. The fortress was booming as I churned out luxurious clothes and furniture, set up new industries and kept my population happy and productive (after all, the greatest threat to security comes from own disgruntled citizens with too much time on their hands). My undead bookkeeper, sealed in his office, was doing a great job and I marvelled in my fortress wealth. I've actually started to think for a moment that things were getting a bit boring.

Then I became the Mountainhome. I knew that my queen was a vampire and thought I could contain her in her chambers with a raised bridge. "Eight thousand kills? That's pretty badass". While I pondered the use for such badass killer vampire dwarf queen I got a message:

"Urist McArchitect cancels Construct Building: Interrupted by cave crocodile head"

Turns out my vampire queen's husband is a necromancer. King consort necromancer. My whole civilisation for its entire history has been serving a vampire and a necromancer. And now my king consort necromancer has decided that my refuse stockpile outside my main entrance is a bit bland and needs more movement.

I guess I might handle this situation. I don't really know how to fight the undead so I'll have to learn it the hard way. If my king consort necromancer decides to give up raising dead, I should manage. If he keeps generating more zombie rotten Wild boar hair that strangle my dorfs, I'm in trouble.

Anyway, the reason I'm telling you this is to express my awe that even when you think you're safe and know this game, DF still has ways to throw lots of Fun in your way when you least expect it.

Thank you, Toady One. All hail Toady One.

[Loud Whispers]

All hail Toady One.

Shout out to Threetoe.

Anyways, what you want to do is seclude the Queen's consort so that he has no line of sight to the corpses, so that he can't cause more mischief you can't reliably put to good use murdering wildlife. From there, you'll want to send in your hardened veterans who care about nothing anymore to dodge the happiness drop, and magma'ing any that have touched the undead without a full suit of armour is mandatory. They have been infected and must be killed, or sacrificed to the queen.
On the bright side, they won't stay dead for long if the consort visits.

[wierd]

Weaponize!

Burrow his regally pimpled butt in an airock! Dump clothes, food and booze in occasionally.

His "quarters" needs to have a fortification slit for him to gaze through whimsically, into the "reambulatron", where you dump all manner of dead things.

The growing ball of undear horrors can be unleashed upon the world, that all should praise armok!

[Loud Whispers]

Necromancers do not need to eat or drink, and I think instead of clothing him you should subject him to watching his friends die all the while bringing their corpses back to life. Something just sounds so appealing about him not caring about death anymore in such a... Theatrical manner.

[Kelner]

Weaponize!
[...]
His "quarters" needs to have a fortification slit for him to gaze through whimsically, into the "reambulatron", where you dump all manner of dead things.

Since I am a practical man dwarf, I was thinking about using the undead for training. Have the necromancer raise the undead through the fortification then raise the bridge to block his line of sight and let my militia kill the raised dead. Let militia out, lower the bridge, raise dead, raise the bridge, let militia in. Rinse and repeat.

It is, however, tempting to just dump the zombies on the next elven caravan.

[Girlinhat]

This is incredible.  A vampire AND a necromancer in royalty?!  That's just...  YES!  Yes good god ten thousand times YES!

I would consider the king consort to be rather poorly understood.  He's to the point that he can't help his powers.  It's not his fault, he simply observes and things happen.  His power is too great for his own capacity and it rages on without his control.  Keep the poor soul contained and make sure his daily routine doesn't lead him past the refuse pile.

Also, are the undead hostile towards him?

Urist McKing, Necromancer, has adopted a zombie dog.
He has enjoyed the company of a pet lately.  He has been assaulted by a terrible miasma lately.

[Loud Whispers]

Also, are the undead hostile towards him?

They won't be. Unfortunately zombies cannot be adopted as pets, but there was a bug which caused zombie cats to still adopt Dwarves...

[Leafsnail]

A match made in undead heaven.  You could try setting up some kind of production line to feed useless dwarves to the queen then give her consort the bodies.

[KodKod]

I wonder what the love story is with that odd couple?

[Leafsnail]

Well, she was the only one who could fight off the legions of undead that sprang up wherever the poor man walked, and she also realised he could provide an endless source of unconscious dwarves.

[Loud Whispers]

Well, she was the only one who could fight off the legions of undead that sprang up wherever the poor man walked, and she also realised he could provide an endless source of unconscious dwarves.

Other way around

[Corai]

I wonder what the love story is with that odd couple?

The queen wadded through the dark jungles of the forgotten land, knee deep in dwarf-bone jewerly, ever since becoming a vampire she had been feeding on worthless nobleblood, but she heard of a mighty necromancer, oh how good the blood must taste! She must get some.

"I must get that blood, if I hear from my cult, it should be the finest in the world of Ezerok!"

Suddenly, a beast jumped at her, she quickly drew her candy shortsword and cut it in half, a zombie cyote, she must be near.

"I KNOW YOUR HERE! SHOW YOURSELF FOOL!"

She dodged without caring as bolts flew by, two zombified marks-dwarves, she cut them down the middle and moved on, two zombie polarbears, a zombie kobold she didnt even deal with, which strangly had a paper with the "Cult of KodKod" on it, odd, and eventully she ran into HIM, oh, his eyes were wonderful.....he was perfectly toned, and spoke with such manners!

"Hello my fair queen......would you like some rat-weed to calm your nerves? You seem angered.....Would you like to sit down?'

"Oh....that would be wonderful.....gah what am I saying! I am the mighty queen Urist! Slayer of-"

"Yes yes, I know. I am Urist McNecromancer, slayer of-"

"Shut up, prepare to die!"

For ten days they battled, sword to sword, unable to defeat one another, until the queen got a lucky slice at his leg, he was knocked unconscious, she got on her knees to feast on his blood, when she looked him in the eyes.



"...Hes so...."

"Handsome, my queen?"

"...Yes..."



---


Yeah, made this in 5 minutes, so it most-likely sucks.

[Girlinhat]

Kobold not good at write.  Kobold do best can.

[Corai]

Kobold not good at write.  Kobold do best can.

You got that write.




Dididoitright.

[Girlinhat]

Dididoitright.

*petpet*