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[Zanzetkuken The Great]

That's the false dining hall, to confuse invaders.

I'ma drop the roof on it now, kay?

It's in the real one, not the fake one.

[Eric Blank]

As the person in control of the layout ad architectural complexity of the fortress, I can designate rooms as I wish. If I say that particular room is no longer the dining hall, then so be it. Everyone can move downstairs to enjoy the new platinum-encrusted wonderhall. Now, about that cave-in...

A section of the cavern has collapsed!

[Corai]

The wooden door is kicked down!


....A METAL DOOR? REALLY?


The kobold pulls out another lockpick, not noticing a Slayer is directly behind. Your turn Zanzetkuken.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

The slayer stealthily stabs the kobold through the skull, removing the brain!
The slayer opens the main gate!
The entire siege rushes in, bypassing all traps with no casualties!

If you hadn't buried the crystal, I could've sent some help!  You brought this on yourselves!

[WillowLuman]

Oliolli goes to the hospital, grabs HugoLuman's bed, and wheels it to his room. He sticks several psionic crystals acquired from the Dragons into HugoLuman's head so that he may access the temporal-causal knowledge in the brain of the comatose human. A few hours later, Oliolli's calculations are interrupted by a loud scream of agony from HugoLuman.

Seconds after the scream echoes through the fortress, a rift opens for one second in Weird Joykill's main lab, then closes. A perfectly spherical metal object has appeared in the lab.

A dwarf is found bleeding to death with his skin melted off in the lowest vaults of the fortress, screaming something about a great, viscous fluid of darkness with eyes. Another Dwarf is found dead nearby with the word "GOZER" written on the wall in his own blood.

[Oliolli]

Oliolli grabs the stick he always keeps in his room and prods HugoLuman with it. Confident that he won't be doing anything nasty, Oliolli goes back to his calculations, only to be interrupted by another scream echoing through the fortress: "CARP! THE SLAYERS ARE IN HERE! EVERYONE GET TO THE LOWER BURROWS!" Ignoring the screams and burrows, Oliolli finishes off another set of equations, turns to the readings coming from Huog's brain, and contently labels the paper as #26135 and places it on top of a stack of papers, which are by now neatly organized into piles. Stretching his arms, he contemplates for a moment whether he should go fight the slayers now, he remembers the W-bend on the way to the lower burrows and figures people there are safe enough. Oliolli gets ready to continue with his calculations only to be interrupted by a group of slayers bursting into his room, one of them carefully smelling a half-eaten cat meat biscuit. After several seconds of facepalming at the constant interruptions he gets an idea and grabs paper #22078. His eyes brighten up noticably as he reads it and the following 22 pages of arcane arithmetics. He turns to the extremely confused slayers, who ask if Oliolli is finally ready to fight and die, only to be even more confused as Oliolli asks for their help. Refused, Oliolli mentions he will only ask nicely once and will only give one thinly veiled threat.
--
The slayers were heavy to drag, but Oliolli knew he would need several living ones for this experiment. The former site of wierd's nitro-lab was quite close by now anyway. As one of them started mumbling and moving, Oliolli stopped for a moment, kicked the slayer in the head (not hard enough to kill) and went on dragging the group of slayers.

[Corai]

A kobold dumps into Oliolli's lab, rubbing his head. He sees the Slayers and Oliolli, stands up, and leaves, locking the door behind him.

[WillowLuman]

Corai crawled back into the safety of the air vents, trying to find refuge from the siege and general craziness. While crawling in a particularly human-inaccessible vent, he noticed something strange: a cage trap. Having spotted it, he easily avoided it, but wondered why such a thing would be here where nothing ever roamed. Some complex effort to catch him maybe? His curiosity got the better of him and he looked inside.

This is a temporal-dimensional engine. All craftsmanship is of the highest quality. A great room composed of magma, mechanisms and unidentified metals. It has sinister tubes and cables and undulates rhythmically. On the walls are images of horrible things from various stories, KodKod, and kittens. The kittens are laughing. The horrible things are making plaintive gestures. This relates to the darkest hour of the Twelfth Bay. At the controls is Gizogzin's MK II clockwork body. It is possessed by some kind of mad influence, screaming about obeying the will of kittens and pulling levers.

Corai stealthily pulled his face out of the cage trap and backed away. Despite past events, he felt he should tell someone about this.

[kisame12794]

Migrants have arrived despite the danger.


"Nope. Fuck this. See ya!"

[wierd]

"Armok's beard, that's it. No more disruptions to the science! Slayers huh? Just humans with special pokey sticks.  I'll have my science fix today, if its the last thing I do!"

Red-faced and sour tempered, the mad scientist trudges toward his lair of dark, evil science, face-punching a few slayers on the way who were stupid enough to try stopping him. Little bits of blood spatter and broken teeth on the hallway floor being the only lasting evidence.

Sealing the steel and adamantine belted blast doors behind him, he sets to work...

Hastily, he gathers several odd looking glass jars of mysterious liquids and powders, a novelty large glass pot with sun glass fiber reinforcement, and several lengths of laboratory grade condensation tube.

20 minutes of work later, a twisted version of a backpack, with gas ejection nozzels, a flame throwe attachment, pullcords to dispense reagents into the glass reaction vessel, and a full body hazard suit with curious ceramic ablative armor covered in glass fiber cloth lies on the work table.

Somewhat resembling a blatantly plagarized "big daddy" outfit, the armored mobile geneva violation was finally ready for use. 

Slipping the last of the o-ring sealed heavy PVC coated fiber gloves into place and fastening the coupling, a loud bang erupts from the vents.

He had nearly forgotten about shutting all the access ports with vent keys earlier, except for the one above the vent hood there in the lab. Cursing himself for directing the vermin straight here, he readies the corrosive nitroxide and white phosphorus flash flame port attachment, as a specific kobold in a business suit falls out of the overhead vent, crashes into the ringstand (just barely avoiding being skewered by it), and banging its head on the hard obsidian work surface before spilling down to the floor in a daze.

Red anger burned in the scientist's eyes, as heavy bruises and searing hot laceration wounds throbbed back into cognition; painful reminders of the antics of this paricular vermin.

"10 seconds to explain yourself, before I make you into extra crispy kobold." He intoned, cold, flat, and totally devoid of emotion. "Even twitch for a dagger, and I'll light you up like like guy fawkes. Now talk."

[Corai]

The door has been kicked down!

The kobold grabs Weird Joykill, drags him through the air vents with a odd strengh, and breaking the vents with his head, shows Weird Joykill the room.


"WHAT THE HECK IS THIS!"

[Oliolli]

From a journal found near the entrance to the fort. Most of the page has been burned off.
...and using the set-up I explained above I should be able to defuse the dark magics bound into the particles that once composed the Olliolifex. I know that if I'm wrong and this doesn't work, bad things will happen. I'm not sure what exactly, but it will be bad.

As the scientific method demands, I will conduct multiple instances of the experiment. Thus I have five slayers in five set-ups.

Oliolli closed the tome and turned to the slayers. The set-up looked nasty, but was necessary. Mentally revising his calculations, he suddenly realised he was not sure if he had remembered to carry a two. Whatever. The set-up is complete, I might as well try it, right? he thought, grabbed a lever, yelled "FOR SCIENCE!" and pulled the lever.
The fortress' statue hall was magnificent. One wall was an exterior wall to the fortress and was covered in some of the finest engravings in the fortress. There were 25 rows of statues in the hall, all of exceptional or better quality. The other wall was also covered in excellent engravings. Eric Blank could've remembered the hall's layout in his dreams, he had made it nearly all by himself after all. Thus, when an odd noise was heard, soon followed by 27 loud crashes coming from the general direction of the statue hall, Eric shed a single tear.
Kasmko O'Jeha was working in his field. This year had been particularly good. All of a sudden, a small, blue ball of light appeared in front of him, quickly gaining a dimension and soon after a second one. The blue, now circle floating in the air was a sight to see, and was growing fast. Upon reaching a size of approximately 12 square meters it's growth stopped. Kasmko slowly approached the blue circle, wondering what it was. As he approached it, a thin black sliver appeared in the middle of it. Kasmko's intrique quickly turned into panic, as a humanoid being three meters tall, wearing armor that looked as if it were made out of living bone emerged from the rift, carrying a large axe. Turning it's burning green eyes to Kasmko, the Spawn of Gbaneg simply said: "YOUR TIME IS UP." Finished with this, it cleaved Kasmko in half. Soon more Spawn emerged from the rift, as well as all the others that had been opening around the continent.

[Gizogin]

"Severe Machinery"
Severe Machinery was a legendary cat leather-bound book.  The written portion consists of a 52 page essay entitled Severe Machinery, authored by Gizogin Akithnil.  It concerns the fortress The Twelth Bay.  The writing is reasonably serious, but it gets off track from time to time.  The book is full of complex schematics and technical drawings.

Wow, I missed some interesting conversations since the last time I checked this thread.  I wish I'd been part of the injury discussion; I've been through some pretty rough stuff.  I seem to have somehow missed quite a bit of action as well.  Presumably, I was holed up in the hospital, experimenting.

[Blizzlord]

"Severe Machinery"
Severe Machinery was a legendary cat leather-bound book.  The written portion consists of a 52 page essay entitled Severe Machinery, authored by Gizogin Akithnil.  It concerns the fortress The Twelth Bay.  The writing is reasonably serious, but it gets off track from time to time.  The book is full of complex schematics and technical drawings.

Gimmie that! I need it to conduct some insane plan which would inevitably fail without it!
*grabs the book and digs deeply into it*

[Loud Whispers]

Olliloi
Ollioli
Olioil
Oliloil
Olioli
Olliloli
Olololololi
Ollioli
Oliolli

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