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Author Topic: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...  (Read 446875 times)

Eric Blank

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #645 on: April 09, 2012, 12:34:55 am »

Girlinhat and Kodkod will have to find a way to settle on who gets what prisoners.

Hmpf. Well as sophisticated, adult women we could easily come to such a decision without resorting to any sort of brutish, uncivilized behaviour.

I could totally take her in a fight, so I get the prisoners.

Hey hey hey! I demand a (relatively small) cut of prisoners for my chambers!
I claim the good-looking ones.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

KodKod

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #646 on: April 09, 2012, 12:38:03 am »

Hey hey hey! I demand a (relatively small) cut of prisoners for my chambers!
I claim the good-looking ones.

You can have the ones who are really beautiful people.

On the inside.
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/人‿‿人\
Tell me what you see. It's a mortal wretched cacophony!
KodBlog: A rage in progress. Updated 20/04/12

Splint

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #647 on: April 09, 2012, 12:39:00 am »

Ok, militia! Kill the prisoners/survivors! We will have no squabaling over greenskins here!

WillowLuman

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #648 on: April 09, 2012, 12:40:04 am »

But I still get a quantum kitten cage right?
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Dwarf Souls: Prepare to Mine
Keep Me Safe - A Girl and Her Computer (Illustrated Game)
Darkest Garden - Illustrated game. - What mysteries lie in the abandoned dark?

Splint

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #649 on: April 09, 2012, 12:40:39 am »

Sure. Just don't go getting attached to them all....

Eric Blank

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #650 on: April 09, 2012, 12:41:35 am »

I don't want greenskins, just a pick of any caged creatures or other prisoners we may have.

But I still get a quantum kitten cage right?

As long as they STAY in their cage and don't breed with my cats!

Gizogin; think you can get these damn animals fixed so we can control their breeding?
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #651 on: April 09, 2012, 12:44:05 am »

Didnt help much with Prince John, now did it?

A king never rules long from afar.

There is a reason for that.  It wouldnt matter if Jesus H. Christ himself came down from the heavens, turned every square inch of land on earth into a lush, fertile paradise, cured every disease, and ensured that every man woman and child had not only enough to eat, but enough to feel totally satisfied in all things.

He would be hated by many, and many would seek to kill him.  There are people who make their livelihoods out of human suffering, and such a clearly benevolent and clearly magical benefactor in power would be completely intolerable to them. Such people judge their own worth by the suffering of others, consciously or unconsciously.

(The wealthy man feels content, that his wealth is a self-evident manifestation of his superiority. He lives better, because he is wealthy. He is wealthy, because he is simply better than those less endowed with riches. If suddenly thrust into a world where his riches could not buy him anything, and he no longer lived better than everyone else, he would suffer an existential crisis.  Also, The professional warrior/soldier. Without an enemy to fight, he is nothing. A world without conflict is a world where he has no purpose, and no meaning. He would choose to create wars, simply to fight in them, rather than face this.  There are many others.  The doctor, without sick and injured.  The priest, when God is standing RIGHT THERE, and takes all audiences. The philosopher, when the creator of the universe tells all. Many hands would vie for his death.)

The only effective deterrent is to invoke irrational fear in these would-be assassins.  To be larger than life, to the point where people are afraid to even whisper, or be seen by others to harbor even a trace of disloyalty.  You basically need to get 1984 on their asses.

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Splint

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #652 on: April 09, 2012, 12:44:39 am »


Gizogin; think you can get these damn animals fixed so we can control their breeding?

I second the motion, esspecially with the cats.

Sus

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #653 on: April 09, 2012, 12:49:41 am »


Gizogin; think you can get these damn animals fixed so we can control their breeding?

I second the motion, esspecially with the cats.
Not my *cat tallow roast*s D:

'Sus' Dogpulley, Mad Tinkerer cancels Construct mechanisms: throwing tantrum.
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Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.

wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #654 on: April 09, 2012, 12:49:55 am »

population control in animals is easily effected by eliminating females.

A single female to maintain a viable population against old age is all you need.  All other females are eliminated as soon as they pop. Population of male cats is culled as needed.

It does not work the other way around.
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Eric Blank

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #655 on: April 09, 2012, 12:56:40 am »

It does... We can spay/neuter all individuals we don't want to breed, and then cull unwanted strays. It wouldn't be all that difficult if Gizogin can at least successfully perform such operations.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

wierd

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #656 on: April 09, 2012, 12:59:32 am »

The problem is that Gizogin cant tell the difference between kidneys and ovaries.

Or between a uterus and a bladder.....

Oh well, Like Willie Wonka, he'll get it right in the end eventually.  Whats a few oompa loompas here and there in the chocolate?
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Eric Blank

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #657 on: April 09, 2012, 01:00:43 am »

Indeed, every doctor/animal caretaker should get as much practice as possible.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

WillowLuman

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #658 on: April 09, 2012, 01:01:59 am »

By the laws of probability, the number of would-be assassins increases with number of people ruled, no matter how they are governed. The important thing is that you don't make it in your guards' interests to commit treason.

I won't ever let my quantum kittens out of their cages. HugoLuman likes kittens for their plotting...
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Dwarf Souls: Prepare to Mine
Keep Me Safe - A Girl and Her Computer (Illustrated Game)
Darkest Garden - Illustrated game. - What mysteries lie in the abandoned dark?

RAKninja

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Re: If Bay Forum were a Mountain Hall...
« Reply #659 on: April 09, 2012, 01:25:32 am »

i got fired from militia commander?

you mean i'm not invincibly overtrained yet?

anyway, all this talk of assassination....

dwarves do not assassinate dwarves.

goblins, on the other hand, habitually murder each other on a whim.

i have discovered the ugly truth.....  the twelfth bay is not a mountainhome...  it is a dark fortress.
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Goblin Fortress (NOW UPDATED FOR 34.02!
magma on his bed when he is sleeping, works every time
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