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Author Topic: A Conundrum Regarding Vampires  (Read 4215 times)

MenacesWithSpikes

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A Conundrum Regarding Vampires
« on: March 27, 2012, 10:19:03 pm »

This hasn't yet happened in any of my forts.  But it could.

If you found out that your Legendary Weaponsmith was a vampire... what would you do?
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Leave anything to chance, eventually the RNG will roll a 1 and everything will erupt in a fountain of magma and vomit.

KodKod

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Re: A Conundrum Regarding Vampires
« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2012, 10:19:42 pm »

Have her killed.
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white_darkness

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Re: A Conundrum Regarding Vampires
« Reply #2 on: March 27, 2012, 10:22:30 pm »

Excavate a nice little forge area for her with some magma beneath the forge...and a room off to the side, where her products would be undumped to the waiting dwarves below.

Same with the needed ore and other goodies coming in...

Maybe the occasional sacrifice of a baby/child to speed the vampire up...
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MenacesWithSpikes

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Re: A Conundrum Regarding Vampires
« Reply #3 on: March 27, 2012, 10:23:04 pm »

KodKod:  You'd be willing to give up a Legendary Weaponsmith for a couple of Adequate pressers and potash makers?
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Quote from: Loud Whispers
Leave anything to chance, eventually the RNG will roll a 1 and everything will erupt in a fountain of magma and vomit.

wierd

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Re: A Conundrum Regarding Vampires
« Reply #4 on: March 27, 2012, 10:32:22 pm »

Legendary weaponsmith is not as uber valuable as so many claim.

I find that giving them a streamlined operation smelting down goblinite and puking out iron and steel bolts creates replacements at an acceptable rate.

In the event that urist mcweaponsmith has a secret identity as urist mcvampire, the weaponsmith wpuld be issued a one-time mass production queue until it beicame "thirsty", then given all the piping hot magma that it could drink.

Weapons don't degrade with use, and the replacement would be given the busywork chore of creating useless bolts. (Each broken up into individual units, and resmelted to exploit the rounding bug.)

In just a few dwarven months, masterwork bolts will start to appear.  Urist mcapprentice will be appointed the title of urist mcweaponsmith, and all will be well.
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KodKod

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Re: A Conundrum Regarding Vampires
« Reply #5 on: March 27, 2012, 10:45:38 pm »

KodKod:  You'd be willing to give up a Legendary Weaponsmith for a couple of Adequate pressers and potash makers?

I balk at the very idea of not making such a sacrifice!

Your dwarves should consider themselves lucky, instead of having to go through the annual lottery to determine a candidate for sacrifice to Armok, the vampire in question "volunteers" to go in their stead. A replacable irritation is disposed of and harvest remains good this year.

Two birds, one stone.
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Absentia

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Re: A Conundrum Regarding Vampires
« Reply #6 on: March 27, 2012, 10:52:25 pm »

Lock him in a room with a forge and build an "airlock" room between that room and the rest of the fort. Let haulers into the airlock to leave bars, then clear them out to let the vamp grab them. Once he's made some weapons have him carry them to the airlock, then lock him in his room again while the haulers move the goods.

Or get sick of micromanaging all that and just incinerate him. I could go either way.
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thegoatgod_pan

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Re: A Conundrum Regarding Vampires
« Reply #7 on: March 28, 2012, 01:51:41 am »

I like vampires. Burrow them with the children.
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martinuzz

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Re: A Conundrum Regarding Vampires
« Reply #8 on: March 28, 2012, 01:57:05 am »

This hasn't yet happened in any of my forts.  But it could.

If you found out that your Legendary Weaponsmith was a vampire... what would you do?

Make him bookkeeper and lock him up. The lack of alcohol will render him useless soon enough, he might be a legendary weaponsmith, but who cares if he can only produce one spear per year?
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miauw62

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Re: A Conundrum Regarding Vampires
« Reply #9 on: March 28, 2012, 06:23:46 am »

Excavate a nice little forge area for her with some magma beneath the forge...and a room off to the side, where her products would be undumped to the waiting dwarves below.

Same with the needed ore and other goodies coming in...

Maybe the occasional sacrifice of a baby/child to speed the vampire up...

Meh, only booze speeds them up.
I would do this actually.
A dwarf is a dwarf, and if she's productive, no matter how little, she can live.
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luppolo

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Re: A Conundrum Regarding Vampires
« Reply #10 on: March 28, 2012, 06:26:51 am »

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miauw62

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Re: A Conundrum Regarding Vampires
« Reply #11 on: March 28, 2012, 06:28:15 am »

I like vampires. Burrow them with the children.
That sounds wrong.
VERY wrong.
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

Bordellimies

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Re: A Conundrum Regarding Vampires
« Reply #12 on: March 28, 2012, 07:53:59 am »

The airlock thing would work well, no need to have the useful dwarves to be killed when they can work in a separate area. Feed them with criminals, children, nobles and and useless workers.
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KodKod

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Re: A Conundrum Regarding Vampires
« Reply #13 on: March 28, 2012, 08:40:48 am »

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Sus

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Re: A Conundrum Regarding Vampires
« Reply #14 on: March 28, 2012, 08:43:22 am »

Off with her head.
Or, failing that, a cave-in is fine, too.
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