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[GhostDwemer]

And you thought babies were useless.

[white_darkness]

No stranger than a kitten killing a bronze colossus...

Though in this case, the baby might be hungry...

[Argonnek]

Dwarven babies and children are badasses. I remember back in 40d a dwarf child punched my adventurer in half. They also spend 12 years doing nothing but eating your food and stealing moods from more deserving dwarves, which is why they are so often annihilated.

[GhostDwemer]

I'm trying to catch and breed cavern critters but I keep getting plump helmet men. So I make a pasture in the cavern and release them there. Dwarves are happy to lead wild plump helmet men all the way through my fortress, they are tagged benign in their raws, but then they release them and they're all "AHHH! Where did that plump helmet man sneak up on me from?" Mostly the plump helmet man and the dwarf both just run off screaming about the terrible monster they just encountered, although the plump helmet man is probably more justified in thinking that.

I thought it was funny because it was my Baron that led that particular plump helmet man, the last of them clogging up my traps, back out to the cavern and it was the baby of a marksdwarf. The plump helmet man was trying to get back into the fortress, "C'mon, lemme in, it sucks in these caverns, hey what a cute baby!" and the baby was like, "What did the five fingers say to the left leg? SCRATCH!"

[Girlinhat]

I had a child kill 2 clowns before.  Steam demons, but still.  It appears that dwarven ferocity is inversely proportional to age - a younger dwarf is entirely more terrifying than an older dwarf.  However, motivation only rises with age.  A newborn baby is the worst thing seen in any corner of the world, y'know, when they can be arsed to do anything terrifying.

Why do you think goblins are always after dwarven children?  They're the deadliest weapon found in a dwarven fortress.

[thegoatgod_pan]

Plump helmet men are deeply fragile and philosophical beings. Tamed and left alone they turn into legendary socializers and often mayors. Comparing them and dwarves babies is like comparing a tender (if adult) poet of the romantic era and a particularly cannibalistic viking child.

[wierd]

I imagine plump helmet men in the same way I imagine toads from SMB, crossed with something terrible, like the smurfs.

A walking, singing mushroom wandering aimlessly through the fort is enough to try the sanity of any healthy, sociopathic dwarf.

On a side note, I hear they are delicious when sauteed.

[GhostDwemer]

I always picture them as slacker stoner bros. "Duuuuude, nice plaaace ya got here, bro."

[GhostDwemer]

Tamed and left alone they turn into legendary socializers and often mayors.

You might get one tamed from elves but they are sentient and can't be tamed by dwarves, unfortunately. I want different, more colorful slackers hanging around my fort.

[Fishybang]

I always picture them as slacker stoner bros. "Duuuuude, nice plaaace ya got here, bro."

Really i thank that they look like toads

[wierd]

I just had the most horrible mental image that practically screams of the kind of reverse-monster morality depicted in dr who....



The sentient mycelium of the underground world has grown angered, and outraged at the hundreds, even thousands of years of genocidal abuse by the bearded, 2 legged horrors that rip the future of her kind from the fertile, moist earth.

First, she created the plump helmet men, each sentient in their own right, but still a part of the greater whole that is the myconoid collective intelligence, in the desperate attempt at diplomacy.  The dwarves simply captured them, placed them in cages as oddities, and laughed at the notion of ceasing the slaughter.

Now, in rage, she and the surviving mushroom men conspire in dark mires, beneath murky pools, and in puddles of thick cavern grime, toiling and cultivating the dark wombs of the earth to punish the invaders.  In secret, they carefully exchange spores, cultivate the mycelium, and work ever closer to their goal:  the day of the GIANT plump helmet men! The mushrooms that feast on the crushed corpses of dwarven kind, and who will tip the balance back into the favor of the natural world.

[Fishybang]

I just had the most horrible mental image that practically screams of the kind of reverse-monster morality depicted in dr who....



The sentient mycelium of the underground world has grown angered, and outraged at the hundreds, even thousands of years of genocidal abuse by the bearded, 2 legged horrors that rip the future of her kind from the fertile, moist earth.

First, she created the plump helmet men, each sentient in their own right, but still a part of the greater whole that is the myconoid collective intelligence, in the desperate attempt at diplomacy.  The dwarves simply captured them, placed them in cages as oddities, and laughed at the notion of ceasing the slaughter.

Now, in rage, she and the surviving mushroom men conspire in dark mires, beneath murky pools, and in puddles of thick cavern grime, toiling and cultivating the dark wombs of the earth to punish the invaders.  In secret, they carefully exchange spores, cultivate the mycelium, and work ever closer to their goal:  the day of the GIANT plump helmet men! The mushrooms that feast on the crushed corpses of dwarven kind, and who will tip the balance back into the favor of the natural world.

You forgot one thing. Dwarfs have Dragons! Giant plump helmet men? Meh its not that bad most Urists have fought worse.

[wierd]

The mushroom mother is patient. It took her centuries to produce the plump helmet men. Her anger is slow, and terrible.

Even now, she slowly digests the rocks that hold the dwarven civs above the lake of liquid fire deep inside the earth.
Even now, the mycelium slowly pushes on the masterwork adamantine sword, nudging it from its pedistal.

By the time the dwarves know of her anger, it will be too late!

[Tharwen]

Dwarven babies and children are badasses. I remember back in 40d a dwarf child punched my adventurer in half. They also spend 12 years doing nothing but eating your food and stealing moods from more deserving dwarves, which is why they are so often annihilated.

Once I went on a rampage in a human town. After killing hundreds of innocent civilians, I was brutally murdered by a child with a fork.

[white_darkness]

A single spore lands, finds nourishment in decay and attains maturity..
In turn it exhales a cloud of life, a thousand spores land... so progresses Juffo-Wup.