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Author Topic: Keeping the dang kids out of the danger room  (Read 5493 times)

The Dog Delusion

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Keeping the dang kids out of the danger room
« on: March 25, 2012, 10:06:48 pm »

So this is a problem of fortress layout, I suppose, as this is a problem I either have or don't have in any given fort. Simply put, how do I stop kids from running into the danger room and getting impaled?

I've set up a rather twisty passage into the room, and marked it all as restricted pathing, but I think that because my shepherds occasionally walk past it to shear and milk the alpacas, the children that follow them path into the danger room on occasion, leading to tragedy fun.

Do doors increase the "cost" to path to a particular spot? I know I can make a door pet-proof, but what about child-proof? Or is there a way to get the kids to just not follow the adults around so closely - give them something to do, as it were?
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Girlinhat

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Re: Keeping the dang kids out of the danger room
« Reply #1 on: March 25, 2012, 10:08:12 pm »

Nope.  Move your danger room, or accept the trade.  You get easy training, it comes with complimentary child corpses.

KodKod

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Re: Keeping the dang kids out of the danger room
« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2012, 10:21:59 pm »

It's like a gift that keeps on giving.
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FrankMcFuzz

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Re: Keeping the dang kids out of the danger room
« Reply #3 on: March 25, 2012, 10:32:44 pm »

It's like a gift that keeps on giving.

 :o

THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
Won't somebody think of the children?
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acetech09

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Re: Keeping the dang kids out of the danger room
« Reply #4 on: March 25, 2012, 10:34:36 pm »

... my shepherds occasionally ... the children that follow them path into the danger room on occasion, leading to tragedy fun.

Add some training spears in the corridor and you'll get a much better kill rate than if you have the only spears in the danger room.
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KodKod

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Re: Keeping the dang kids out of the danger room
« Reply #5 on: March 25, 2012, 10:37:55 pm »

THINK OF THE CHILDREN!
Won't somebody think of the children?

I'm sure that their mothers and fathers will think of them, and become more hardened individuals as a result.

In that sense they're more useful dead than alive.
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Thelogman

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Re: Keeping the dang kids out of the danger room
« Reply #6 on: March 25, 2012, 10:40:58 pm »

I build a "Day Care" to keep my dwarves from getting snatched when they're still children, I just burrow them near the center of the fort, near some food and sleeping arrangements, and let them out when they turn 12 and can fight and die proper.

As a result, I've never had a problem with dead kids in the danger room, except with pregnant moms. But that's really just a case of remembering to turn off the danger room if a soldier has a kid mid-training and remembering to build a secondary barracks for Sgt. Urist McMom to train in while her kid is still attached to her.
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FrankMcFuzz

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Re: Keeping the dang kids out of the danger room
« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2012, 10:44:55 pm »

I just happened upon Girlinhat's thread about dropping a dog on them, which is here>
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=91093.0
Jolly good show.

It's like a kiddy danger room. For kiddies!
« Last Edit: March 25, 2012, 10:53:54 pm by FrankMcFuzz »
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KodKod

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Re: Keeping the dang kids out of the danger room
« Reply #8 on: March 25, 2012, 10:51:19 pm »

Whelp, this threat has led me down a rather dark train of thought that I daren't mention.

I am legitimately horrified with myself. Moral Event Horizon.
« Last Edit: March 25, 2012, 10:56:22 pm by KodKod »
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FrankMcFuzz

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Re: Keeping the dang kids out of the danger room
« Reply #9 on: March 25, 2012, 10:53:26 pm »

Give them the kiddy day care danger room for a mandatory year, then let them follow their parents wherever they damn well want. Ain't no messin' with this kid, he's done the wrestle with the angry dog.
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Lordraymond

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Re: Keeping the dang kids out of the danger room
« Reply #10 on: March 25, 2012, 11:04:09 pm »

Obviously you should swap out those boring old spears with spikes - they rip those little bodies clean in half, no need for tug 'em off afterward.

It also separates the weak from the strong in terms of military...
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FrankMcFuzz

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Re: Keeping the dang kids out of the danger room
« Reply #11 on: March 25, 2012, 11:47:34 pm »

It also separates the weak from the strong in terms of military...

It seperates the weak from their arms*
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Eric Blank

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Re: Keeping the dang kids out of the danger room
« Reply #12 on: March 26, 2012, 12:36:28 am »

I find the best solution to this is to actually lock the sodliers in the training room with no access to other dwarves or their pets, and evict married women/train them separately. Just remember to let them out every once in a while, such as during Goblin Christmas. Remember to give them some time to attend the big feast before they go out to open their presents!
You could also lock them in with food, booze, and their living quarters so they never need to leave. Make the barracks it's own little fortress staffed solely by your military and a hauler+grower+brewer or two.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2012, 12:38:50 am by Eric Blank »
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JoshBrickstien

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Re: Keeping the dang kids out of the danger room
« Reply #13 on: March 26, 2012, 02:20:08 am »

Whelp, this threat has led me down a rather dark train of thought that I daren't mention.

I am legitimately horrified with myself. Moral Event Horizon.

Clearly you haven't reached the Moral event horizon if you're all "My god, what have I done?"
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NonconsensualSurgery

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Re: Keeping the dang kids out of the danger room
« Reply #14 on: March 26, 2012, 06:00:05 am »

Store them in aqua-daycare.

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=105641.0

Drop a mother and child into a 4-6/7 pool? Infant stays put, mother swims out. Drop a squad in before they go to the danger room and the infants will have a wonderful time splashing about and crying for help until mommy's done doing important grownup things.

They will almost certainly die if mommy doesn't come back or the pool isn't drained. Also, remember that it takes 12 years for a newborn to mature. Maybe other players are better than me but frontline military very rarely survives 12 years of service, danger room or no danger room.
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