!!SCIENCE!! COMPLETE!
I have made Grate new discoveries! About Grates! Wall Grates in particular. I have opened a new field of quantum urist atomic teleportation!
I have prototyped an unbounded size + hauler number probabilistic quantum stockpile. And post to you the as yet untested full design, which I shall continue to revise over the coming days. It looks like this:
Z0
GGGGGBGGGGG
GBBBGBGBBBG
GBBBGBGBBBG
GBBBGBGBBBG
GBBBGBGBBBG
GBBBGBGBBBG
GBBBGBGBBBG
GBBBGBGBBBG
GBBBGBGBBBG
GBBBGBGBBBG
GBBBGBGBBBG
GRRRGBGRRRG
SSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSS
Z -1
SSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSS
...
R: Wall
G: Wall Grate
S: Stockpile
B: Bridge
All bridges are retracting. All bridge tiles can be automated by repeater or lever puller. Wall grates do not need to be linked up to anything.
NOTE: The central bridge is on top of floor tiles, the side bridges are supported by real wall tiles.
NOTE: There is nothing supporting the wall grates. This is critical in the preservation of food. (Otherwise food will get stuck in the grates) In order to construct these wall grates, you can channel a hole, remove the remaining ramp, build a wall, build the wall grate on top of the wall, and then deconstruct the wall. You may also be able to simply build the wall grate and then dig a ramp up from below, I am unsure.
There are two major problems with the current pinnacle of dwarven quantum technology: The Undump. These problems make it very difficult to use in chute designs and parallel hauling designs.
1. A large amount of junk to be undumped is dumped on the pressure plate that closes the the path to the stockpile. As pointed out by GirlInHat, the only reliable automated way to get this junk off of the pressure plate is to flood the system with moving water, greatly reducing the ability of your dwarves to use your undump if successful, and more likely, greatly increasing your fun.
2. When the 'lure' stockpile size is increased, lots of dwarves will path to it at once. But as soon as the first one hits the pressure plate, ALL of them will drop their junk on the ground and go do something else. Besides spamming you with pathing problems and slowing down your computer, they tend to leave these items on the ground, making it impossible to stop large amounts of food from simply rotting on the ground.
Now, how does the Atomic Teleporter work? Well Urist, I'm glad you asked. We are all familiar with atom smashers. But recent research in the field of atomic bridge colliders has revealed several new and interesting properties.
The Axioms Of Atomic Teleportation
First, a retracting bridge that throws an item on the ground will fire that item through fortifications and wall grates.
Second, if that item should land on a fortification, it will remain there, even if there is nothing below the fortification.
Third, if that item should land on a wall grate, it will remain there only if there is something below the grate: if there is a channel beneath the grate, it is as though the grate were not there at all.
Fourth, a retracting bridge that throws a dwarf will not fire that dwarf through fortifications.
Fifth, a retracting bridge that throws a dwarf will fire that dwarf through wall grates. Being "thrown" by a bridge, similar to being crushed by one, is really being disintegrated. But when a dwarf is not crushed under the bridge, he is able to reform on the other side of wall grates. I hypothesize that all dwarves have drank enough booze to be able to maintain themselves in a liquid form for just long enough to travel up to 3 Urists before resolidifying.
Finally, a dwarf hauling an item will not let go of said item when thrown by a bridge, even if he travels through a grate. He will let go of said item if he sustains injuries while falling, but while hilarious, this mechanism of chuting food tends to quickly run out of haulers.
So how does it work?
You have a busy fortress. You make room a gigantic food stockpile at the end of a single tile wide hallway of length ~10-20. The floor of the hallway is made of retracting bridges on repeat. The walls of the hallway are not walls at all, but Wall Grates. These wall grates, while preventing any "solid" dwarf from pathing through them, will allow "liquid" dwarves through without issue. As soon as you place your food stockpile at the end of the hallway, hundreds of "solid" dwarves will begin pathing towards your stockpile carrying food.
Any "solid" dwarf in the hallway at the time of Atomic Bridgeapult Deintegration will liquify for several Urists, and then reintegrate up to 3 Urists away in a random direction. Any dwarf who reintegrates in the wall grates of the hallway will immediately path back into the hallway. However, any dwarf who reintegrates beyond the wall grates of the hallway will now find himself unable to path. He will immediately cancel his current hauling job, dropping the item on the floor, and await Deintegration. His deintegration will come quickly, as he is standing on another retracting bridge, whether he goes flying through wall grates, or simply falls a Z level into your quantum pile is irrelevant.
The greatest challenge is in timing the bridges such that liquid dwarves are capable of reintegrating on the far side of the hallway successfully. Mechanisms that do not require use of complex repeaters are an excellent place to continue research. The higher the percentage of dwarves that do not fall through the outer bridges, the higher the percentage of food will remain on the bridges, and thus the higher percentage of food that will fall into your stockpile when the dwarf reintegrates.
Conclusions
Atomic Teleportation is the study of throwing dwarves through grates with bridges. It is a fresh field for new research. It will quickly surpass the greatest dwarven technologies by harnessing the parallelism of unbounded haulers. Even its clunkiest early designs require no more than 2 levers and 40 Grates. It has three major advantages over current automatic stockpiles:
First, hauled items are dropped in areas within 3 urists of a bridge, as opposed to 0-1 urists of a pressure plate.
Second, only haulers within a short distance of the destination stockpile will cause cancellation spam.
Third, an unbounded number of haulers can use the device at the same time, and due to inability of two dwarves to walk at the same time through a single tile hallway, the more dwarves using the system, the shorter you can make the hallway while still having a negligible probability of any items reaching the lure destination stockpile.