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Author Topic: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread  (Read 1292612 times)

GlyphGryph

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #4485 on: January 17, 2013, 02:01:21 am »

It would be absurd because straight people are not a group with limited rights, they are not, as a group, oppressed or discriminated against structurally or personally as a regular occurrence.

Straight men who /are/, however, are more than welcomed in the LGBT. Bisexuals were considered "straight", and were welcomed. Those pushing the limits of genderqueerness were often technically straight, but they were welcomed. This is the future of the movement, a breaking down of the exclusionary walls that many in the early movement built around themselves, and it's a good thing. These are often straight people discriminated against for not acting "straight" enough despite that. There's was a time when folks went "their fight is not our fight, they do not suffer the way we suffer to the extent that we suffer, they were never as disadvantaged as us or, if they were, they were that way by choice, and our movement should not cover them." Those people were thankfully given a smack down, and the movement went on.

Men ARE oppressed. This is a simple truth. They are discriminated against, their actions limited, their options dwindled, because of their gender. Not in the same way or to the same extent women have been and are, but oppression of the same kind, nonetheless. It is exactly the case with gays and "straights" in the form of bisexuals, genderqueer, and today transexuals (and the hatred of transexuals is not an uncommon thing in the community). They did not say "No, our movement is just for gay men". They expanded it, and said "Our movement is for anyone who suffers under the yoke of expression because they do not conform to societal expectations of sexuality."

This is what women need to do. They do not need to represent "all men". But they DO need to start representing those men that are oppressed because of their gender. They've certainly never bothered to try and represent "all women", so I don't think this is beyond the pale. And unlike with the gay movement, this isn't even merely an act of doing the right thing - this is necessity. If they don't do this, the goal? Equality for women? It is impossible.

Of course, for some feminists, this is NOT the goal, and I never expect them to accept "outsiders" into their ideology. They want strict superiority. And those sorts of folks? They can go fuck themselves.

Most feminists want equality, and that will never, ever happen until they tackle the causes of the diseases, the roots that afflict both women and men. To exclude men is not just selfishness, it is prideful, and self-defeating. The right thing to do is to accept them into the greater movement, not as allies, but as fellow victims of cultural oppression, victims of tightly choreographed gender roles that will never allow the genders to play on equal footing.

But it's not surprising - feminism is full of plenty of absolutely terrible people, many of whom believe that simply because they are women, they cannot be privileged, many of whom are in leadership positions and who claim to speak for the movement as whole. There is a reason feminism is constantly taking heat - from black women, whom it excludes because "race isn't a feminist issue", from the genderqueer and transgendered, who they accuse of being infiltrators or traitors, from men who suffer at the hands of a society that expects them to conform just as it expects women to conform. And while it does not overwhelm the movement, there does not seem to be any cohesive resistance against these people, because to do so, to be more inclusive, would somehow "weaken feminism", as I've heard it described.

It is absurd.
« Last Edit: January 17, 2013, 02:07:34 am by GlyphGryph »
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Sheb

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #4486 on: January 17, 2013, 04:24:05 am »

GlyphGryph, I'm saving everything you just said in my "Ready-made argument" folder. Never seen sucha  clear and concise explaination of that problem of feminism.
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fqllve

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #4487 on: January 17, 2013, 06:06:51 am »

The problem isn't just on the feminist side though. A large number of Men's Rights people I've seen take a clearly anti-feminist stance which isn't really the solution to the problem. Both sides need to realize that they are working towards a common goal, equality for the sexes. For my part I consider myself to be a feminist but I believe that clearly includes fighting sexism against men, because sexism, wherever it occurs, locks both sides into predefined roles. And I think this idea is gaining more traction with feminists.

I don't think it's fair to lay the blame solely on feminists though, and I don't think it's fair to say that feminism isn't concerned with the plight of all women. Mainstream feminism may not be, but it's a diverse movement and there are people within it advocating groups generally overlooked by the mainstream.
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justinlee999

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #4488 on: January 17, 2013, 07:41:35 am »

GlyphGryph, I'm saving everything you just said in my "Ready-made argument" folder. Never seen sucha  clear and concise explaination of that problem of feminism.
Plagiarism, burn (s)he!
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GlyphGryph

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #4489 on: January 17, 2013, 12:15:20 pm »

The problem isn't just on the feminist side though. A large number of Men's Rights people I've seen take a clearly anti-feminist stance which isn't really the solution to the problem.
Mens Rights people are incredibly reactionary in most instances, and tend to be cut from the same cloth as the worst feminists. The idea should be pretty dumb, anyway - as dumb as starting a "bisexual rights movement" would have been. The fact that feminism

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Both sides need to realize that they are working towards a common goal, equality for the sexes. For my part I consider myself to be a feminist but I believe that clearly includes fighting sexism against men, because sexism, wherever it occurs, locks both sides into predefined roles. And I think this idea is gaining more traction with feminists.
There are no sides. And as long as the Feminist movement insists on exclusionary language and labels, fighting the true fight is going to be difficult. But yeah, there are many people in the movement that can see this is the way forward, and I'm hoping that is where things will end up.

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I don't think it's fair to lay the blame solely on feminists though, and I don't think it's fair to say that feminism isn't concerned with the plight of all women.
I don't. And while they claim to, traditionally feminism has NOT been concerned with the plight of all women. Many second wave feminists pushed for brand new forms of oppression and forced conformance, and many women are opposed to the feminist movement as a whole threatening to disrupt the life they live. I think the feminists are still in the right, at least overall, but there will always be people that feel that they lose when others benefit, or who have desired positions that they lose when the ground shifts under their feet.
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fqllve

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #4490 on: January 17, 2013, 04:41:31 pm »

Mens Rights people are incredibly reactionary in most instances, and tend to be cut from the same cloth as the worst feminists. The idea should be pretty dumb, anyway - as dumb as starting a "bisexual rights movement" would have been. The fact that feminism
Basically, but I didn't want to say it while defending feminism because that would look a bit biased. Obviously, as a man, I have a vested interest in Men's Rights issues, but the fact that so often one of their core positions is that feminism has overshot its goals is while I call myself a feminist and not a Men's Rights Activist, even though properly they are one in the same.

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There are no sides. And as long as the Feminist movement insists on exclusionary language and labels, fighting the true fight is going to be difficult. But yeah, there are many people in the movement that can see this is the way forward, and I'm hoping that is where things will end up.
You're right, but the issue has been stratified so that it appears that there are sides, or possibly that there actually are sides working at cross purposes to the same ultimate goals. And feminists can be exclusionary, I've had a few women (and even one man) tell me that I shouldn't call myself a feminist. I understand their concerns, but I find the prospect more than a bit sexist. It's true that I'll never understand a woman's perspective, but feminism needs perspectives from both sides of the aisle if it's going to accomplish anything.

I do think it is the way the movement will end though, because it's so self-evidently the actual solution.

I don't see anything wrong with calling it feminism though. I believe Vector once said that fighting sexism against women, which is far more rampant and needs more urgently to be addressed, is the solution to achieving equality for men. Of course, that's not true for everything, and there are plenty of men's issues that would need to be addressed separately, but on the whole I rather like that idea. As long as we approach the issue as striving for actual equality then true equality for one sex should mean true equality for the other.

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I don't. And while they claim to, traditionally feminism has NOT been concerned with the plight of all women. Many second wave feminists pushed for brand new forms of oppression and forced conformance, and many women are opposed to the feminist movement as a whole threatening to disrupt the life they live. I think the feminists are still in the right, at least overall, but there will always be people that feel that they lose when others benefit, or who have desired positions that they lose when the ground shifts under their feet.
Second-wave feminism was full of a number of problems, I think, most obviously, installing women into the systems of oppression rather than dismantling or reforming them. It's also responsible for a number of styles of thought that influence public perception of feminism today. I think they accomplished some important things, but you're right, they also had a very narrow definition of femininity and a very narrow set of goals and I think in a lot of ways feminism of the last twenty years has been a reaction to that. And if you mean women who prefer the way things are now, yeah, second-wave feminism was strongly against them, but I don't see modern feminism as really all that upsetting to the status quo, and personally, I would like to see room for all people to live how they want. If someone wants to conform to older models of femininity they should be able to, be they male or female, as long as it's a genuine choice and society is able to recognize that.
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penguinofhonor

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #4491 on: January 17, 2013, 04:45:17 pm »

It would be absurd because straight people are not a group with limited rights, they are not, as a group, oppressed or discriminated against structurally or personally as a regular occurrence.

Neither are are men. To say that both men and women are oppressed is silly, because that's everyone. Oppression requires an oppressor. If everyone is in the same situation, then what they're going through isn't oppression. I hate to try and argue definitions, but i think this is a little too fundamental. It's an ordering of society with a top and a bottom, not even sides.

I won't argue that men don't suffer because of their sex, but that's not oppression. We've gotten to a point in history where a straight person can be disadvantaged because they're straight. Have you ever heard a straight person complaining that people don't like it when they hang out in a gay bar? Men go through the same thing.

You know your feminism. You've got legitimate criticisms, the same sort of stuff that I've seen in serious modern feminist circles. But then there's pseudo-MRA stuff like this:
Of course, for some feminists, this is NOT the goal, and I never expect them to accept "outsiders" into their ideology. They want strict superiority. And those sorts of folks? They can go fuck themselves.
You can beat down the straw feminists as much as you want. That won't make them any closer to existing. I mean, you might find some radfem blogs, but in the big feminist groups like V Day, these people aren't relevant.

I don't know if you're living in 1970 or what. I've never seen a man excluded from a feminist space. I've seen them treated as allies in exactly the same way straight people are treated in LGBT groups. That's how they should be treated. Straight people don't need "straight" added to the LGBT acronym (although "ally" has been, notably), they don't need the LGBT movement to rename itself as egalitarianism to avoid giving people the impression that they want gay superiority. Once again, that's ridiculous.

I don't want to go through the whole "feminism fights for men in ways like reducing the stigmatization of feminine roles that men are ridiculed for trying to fill" spiel because I highly doubt you haven't heard that before. I just feel like you're fighting against feminists that don't exist. The moderation you're looking for is present in modern feminism.
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fqllve

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #4492 on: January 17, 2013, 04:59:30 pm »

Neither are are men. To say that both men and women are oppressed is silly, because that's everyone. Oppression requires an oppressor. If everyone is in the same situation, then what they're going through isn't oppression. I hate to try and argue definitions, but i think this is a little too fundamental. It's an ordering of society with a top and a bottom, not even sides.
Why? Not all men are part of the systems in place that oppress women, and those are the very things that force men into their own set of gender stereotypes. I mean, I can tell you recognize this, so I don't know what the problem with calling it oppression is. Anyone who wants something other than what society deems appropriate is oppressed by it, no matter what their sexual identity.
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penguinofhonor

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #4493 on: January 17, 2013, 05:08:41 pm »

I don't understand the necessity of calling it that. If people aren't taking men's problems seriously because they're not oppressed, that's dumb. It's just a label. And I don't think we need to expand the labels to appeal to that mindset, because that reinforces the idea that you need to be oppressed for your problems to be worth solving.
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fqllve

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #4494 on: January 17, 2013, 05:16:16 pm »

Well there's no necessity, and I generally refrain from saying stuff like "Men are oppressed," just because of the implications a statement like that has, but saying things like "Society oppresses anyone who doesn't wish to conform," just seems true to me. There's no agenda behind it, and if there were, it'd be dumb like you say, it just accurately describes the situation.
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GlyphGryph

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #4495 on: January 17, 2013, 05:25:24 pm »

Neither are are men. To say that both men and women are oppressed is silly, because that's everyone. Oppression requires an oppressor. If everyone is in the same situation, then what they're going through isn't oppression. I hate to try and argue definitions, but i think this is a little too fundamental. It's an ordering of society with a top and a bottom, not even sides.
Does oppression require an oppressor to be a member of an out-group, though? Of course not. Anyone who tries to render something as complex as society as having a "top" and a "bottom" and all men are magically on top by virtue of being men is living in a fantasy land.

Some men oppress women and other men. Fewer women do, because fewer women get to fill the role of oppressor, but female sexism AGAINST FEMALES is a very real thing, and not a rare thing, that discrimination is not less important because it's a woman doing it, and oppression against women is still just that regardless of who instigates it. Oppression is something society does to individuals, and to cast someone as immune to oppression simply because they share a single label with those who head that society is... it's fucked up, man. It's seriously fucked up.

Of course men and women can both be oppressed. Because oppression happens to people, not to labels. And because society operates with different rules at different levels and for different people. And if there are people suffering the same sort of oppression, they should be welcomed as fellows, because the cause should be to stop gender based oppression on all fronts, not just when it negatively effects women. Men can be oppressed, as a group, by virtue of their existing men who surpass that group and don't have to follow the rules they make, no? Or do exceptions that escape the oppression mean the oppression isn't really that at all?

And yes, I know that one line I had saying "I don't care about this particular group so fuck em" is not large, though they definitely exist and are not as rare as you make them out to be. I know "moderates" as you describe them exist (though I don't see it as the moderate position, I see it as the radically correct position). But labels matter. Language matters. Messages matter, and rhetoric matters.

And your language and message here, alone, trivializes hardships others face. The fact that you call oppression "just a label" as you defend against what you believe to be it's misuse is telling.

When a transwoman is told she is not welcome except as an ally, because she "is not a real woman" and, as a man, she hasn't suffered the way a real woman has suffered, this is "just a label", but it is also damaging to everything that mainline feminists claim to stand for. And it's something that's going to continue to fester if their language doesn't change.

LGBT didn't change from gay rights movement to the LGBT movement on a whim - they did it in large part to open that umbrella and (at least for some of those involved in the push) to take away the excuses it's members had for continuing to discriminate against those who should be more than just "allies", but are in fact brothers and sisters in the cause of equal rights. Because they realized 'this stuff affects you too'.

Even the term ally in this context is demeaning and insulting. You're setting yourself up as a gatekeeper of who deserves to benefit from the movements actions and who gets to be "really" part of the movement. And that sort of language is a bad thing, in my opinion.

Also, I feel like I'm going a good deal more into this than I wanted, and our only point of contention is based in large part around language and message and the value thereof and could very well be the case that I've not been involved with feminism proper in several and things have since vastly improved that I simply don't know about. So I'm probably going to let the matter drop after this.
« Last Edit: January 17, 2013, 05:31:33 pm by GlyphGryph »
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Helgoland

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #4496 on: January 17, 2013, 06:10:24 pm »

How about we establish a brand-spanking-new way of talking about oppression in a politically correct manner?

"Men who have sex with oppress men" etc.
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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #4497 on: January 17, 2013, 06:37:57 pm »

How about we establish a brand-spanking-new way of talking about oppression in a politically correct manner?
I think "double standard" encompasses most everything we're talking about here.
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penguinofhonor

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Re: Calm and Cool Progressive Discussion Thread
« Reply #4498 on: January 17, 2013, 06:45:42 pm »

And your language and message here, alone, trivializes hardships others face. The fact that you call oppression "just a label" as you defend against what you believe to be it's misuse is telling.

I won't continue the argument, but I do want to clarify this. I meant "just a label" purely in the context of whether someone's troubles are worth helping. I just meant that suffering is suffering, no matter what it's called, and I do think there are a lot of people with the attitude of "Oh, boo hoo, you're privileged. Why do we care about your little problems?"

I don't see that attitude as justified, and was just trying to address that specific mindset rather than speak about its use in general.
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