Vanya's Journals, Chapter 46: The Stench of VictoryThis is the final entry containing the now-familiar pale blue sheets. Following this, only Vanya's entries remain. "John, stay awake!" I cried out, watching him through tear-blurred eyes as I struggled with the megaportal's wiring. I almost had it fixed: they'd backwired the antimatter containment cells through a positronic conductor. Maybe Parasol's portals worked differently than Mr Frog's, but it didn't make any sense to me... that feeling was all I had to go on.
John lay slumped up against the control panels, breathing raggedly, his Ballpoint suit streaked with blood. If I ever dared to try to help him, he yelled at me to keep working, but I'd promised him that as soon as I had the portal open, I'd do whatever I could.
Suddenly, as I reattached two wires, the portal began a menacing hum, throbbing with power... a deep, ancient sound. The hills echoed with its noise. Glancing around, I could see Ballpoint's troops turning, rushing back to defend the portal.
But the portal didn't open. I was sure something was broken, or misplaced, but I wasn't sure what. On a whim, I removed Almory's computer chip from its slot and reinserted it.
Air rushed towards the megaportal's center at great speeds, whistling as it gathered my hair and flung it at my face.
And all became still.
With a crash, the megaportal exploded with light and sound, almost knocking me to the ground as the air around me began to reverberate, pulsing, heaving like waves on a stormy day. As the hum began anew, the air within the frame coalesced into a rippling mirror.
I'd opened the portal.
The first thing on my mind was John's condition. I sprinted over to him, and even as I did, Parasol's tanks poured through the 30-foot iris, great machines of war, heavily suited troops, biomechs and mechoids, armed with incredible weapons. Everything was black and white, and bore Parasol's trademark red and white umbrella. It heralded a victory... but it meant little to me as I discovered John was already unconscious. I wept by his side, watching the battle through my hair and hoping someone would come and help.
Even as the Ballpoint troops reversed direction, storming back up the hill, Parasol's troops began firing rounds into their ranks. Three of their enormous tanks charged their weapons, their singularity cannons shimmering as they each fired a round. The projectiles blurred slowly towards their target, the air around them warping and spraying sparks; three of Ballpoint's tanks seemed to implode in a cloud of metallic dust.
A giant creature stepped out of the portal… it was like a rhinoceros or elephant, but with legs wider than barrels, its body blotting out the stars. It stomped forward to join the combat, the ground shaking under its weight. It was beyond anything I'd ever dreamed.
Despite Parasol's incredible firepower, Ballpoint's superior numbers prevailed, and they and Parasol met in the middle of the field in melee as napalm shells exploded and singularities hummed over their heads.
Medics emerged from the portal, wearing Ballpoint scrubs and light armor, carrying medkits that looked like the one Trebor always carried. Getting to my feet, I ran after them, yelling and waving my arms. "Help!" I shouted. "Please, somebody!! My friend needs help!"
A stray railgun round grazed my leg and I fell to the ground, crying out in agony at the sharp, sudden pain. I looked at the wound... it'd left a deep gash, cutting a hole straight through my armor.
"Please! Help!" I called again.
But no one stopped. No one offered to help, or even turned in my direction. Slowly, my resolve faded into hopelessness, and I lay there alone, ignored, clutching at my leg and weeping unseen tears.
~~~
Several blue sheets of paper are inserted here. Almory choked, her eyes fluttering back open as she breathed in a lungful of precious air.
Her brother started crying with relief. "Oh, thank Armok," he whispered. "Sis, stay awake."
Lieutenant Almory swallowed, blinking her eyes as her head cleared. "I'm not in any pain," she whispered, looking about as Ballpoint soldiers rushed past, returning to the top of the hill.
Trebor nodded. He was starting to feel weak from the lack of blood. "Painkillers," he explained briefly. "Vanya made it to the portal."
The lieutenant frowned. "Does it matter?" she asked. "Parasol may win... but have
we?" Her critical eye strayed to her arm, following the tube to the pump Trebor held, and then to Trebor's arm. "What do you think you're doing?"
The doctor swallowed dryly, rocking back and forth to stay awake. "You needed blood," he said quietly. "I lacked supplies."
Gritting her teeth, she pulled the blood-squirting tube from her arm, and tossed it aside.
"What are you doing?!" Trebor exclaimed in dismay, shutting off the device. "You
need blood!"
"I won't take yours," she said firmly. "Look how pale you are now.
"Sis, you
need blood," the dwarf insisted. "You're still bleeding out from multiple wounds. This is the only way I can keep you alive."
"By killing you?" Almory asked quietly, already beginning to feel lightheaded again. "It's better for me to die."
"I
can't let you die."
"You
can," she corrected him, moving her hands to her bloodied chest. "I'm not losing my little brother."
Determined, Trebor tried to re-insert the tube into her arm, but she snatched it from him and drew it across one of her swords.
"What are you doing?!" Trebor almost shouted, growing dizzy from the effort.
Weakly, his sister laid her sword back by her side. "I won't let you do this."
"You
have to!" Trebor begged, starting to weep. "
Please! How could I live with the guilt of not saving you?"
"How could I live with the guilt of killing my baby brother?" she whispered, looking at him. "I won't let you die here with me. You're going to go back home and finish medical school. You're going to write that book you always talked about, and meet a nice girl."
"No," Trebor mumbled, shaking with tears as he squeezed her hand reassuringly. "You won't die. It's not as bad as you think."
A smile flickered briefly at her lips. "You're a bad liar, Trebbie..." she whispered. "You always were. I'm growing weaker every second." Almory quieted, swallowing painfully as she closed her eyes.
And all was still.
"Sis, you need to stay awake," Trebor whispered. When there was no response, he said, louder, "Sis, you need to stay awake!" With a finger, he reached out and felt her pulse. Tears started to spring forth anew, and he leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers as he wept inconsolably.
And darkness fell around the form of the doctor, crouched beside a dying woman.
The transcript ends here with a flourish, followed by a signature:
"~ Trebor Mallarkus, Field Doctor
~In memory of the fallen~"~~~
Vanya's handwriting continues. Holding my breath, I tried getting to my feet, and found that I could stand without much trouble.
I turned away from the battle with a dejected frown, limping back up the hill towards John's body, where I could faintly make out the shape of a medic who was working on his wounds, silhouetted by a portable light he'd placed by John's side. I felt an immense relief at the sight.
As I came up behind the doctor, I asked, "Will he be all right?"
He looked up, startled as if he'd been unaware of my approach. For a long moment, he stared at me blankly. "It's very bad, ma'am," he finally said, taking the light and moving it to assist his work.
Only then did I see the full extent of John's wounds. I spun, closing my eyes to shut out the image as a tear rolled down my cheek.
Amidst a jetpack's roar, a familiar figure landed in front of me.
"Katie!" I exclaimed I rushed forwards to hug her, but she only staggered forwards, dazed. "Katie?" I asked again, looking in her eyes. My gaze strayed, and I noticed the blood streaking her entire left arm, running down from her shoulder.
Struggling, as if it was difficult, she lifted her eyes to my face. She seemed to stare straight through me... almost as if she hardly realized I existed. Her face was an embodiment of terror and hopelessness.
"Saemin's gone," she whispered. "Everyone's gone."
I didn't want to believe it. "Everyone?"
She didn't reply, only shuffling past me and falling to her knees by the medic's side.
"What's happened to her?" I asked the doctor, shaking his shoulder to get his attention. "Why is she like this?"
He jerked away from me and looked at her briefly. "Combat fatigue," he explained, continuing his work. "Sometimes called 'shell shock'. She's from division 48D, isn't she?"
His tone implied he was insulting her, and I felt defensive. "What does it matter?"
The dwarf looked up at me, frowning sympathetically. "None of them were supposed to see combat. It's a miracle they managed to open the portal at all."
Oblivious to what we were saying, Katie slumped sideways onto the dirt.
"Will it get better?" I asked worriedly.
"I need to fix up her arm, but in a day or two, yeah... Apart from a probable case of post-traumatic stress disorder. Now, if you don't mind, ma'am, I need to finish my job." He took a tone of annoyance to express this last.
I nodded, starting dejectedly back down the slope. The battle raged nearby, but I hardly noticed it. I stumbled aimlessly forwards, hoping to find someone I recognized.
I felt like crying... but the tears wouldn't come.
~~~
The first rays of sunlight reached over the tips of the eastern hills, revealing the ruined trench that lay outstretched at my feet. Only days before, it had been a center of life... Maybe everyone within had been doomed to die, but they'd known it. With no hope, they'd possessed no fear, and had only strived to make their last days the best they could.
Then I'd come... and I'd given them hope. I'd made them afraid.
I stared blankly at the wreckage. The sides of the trench had almost completely collapsed, blocking or covering doors on the upper levels. Entire rooms had caved in on the far side, creating smoking, burning pits in the earth above. Twisted metal lay scattered everywhere; pieces of paper fluttered meaninglessly in the wind, tumbling across the deserted paths... the last remnants of a time of order.
But the trench itself was empty; it was devoid of life...
Their deaths were because of me.
Biting my lip, I started down what was left of the staircase, stepping over fallen bodies. I was afraid to look at their faces... I was afraid I'd see someone I recognized.
It didn't make sense to me. Almory had said she would start the bubble shield at the slightest sign of trouble. I wondered if maybe she'd seen the point in what I'd said to her in the hallway corridor, and had put Parasol ahead of herself.
It was with little hope that I examined the tragic scene, limping through the trench's cluttered pathways, stepping carefully around bits of melted rubble. It was a silent, gruesome place. The infirmary was empty, as was the armory. Corpses lay strewn about where they’d fallen. Charred rivulets stretched down the walls and spilled to the ground below where napalm jelly had burned only a little while before, some still flickering with tiny flames. Craters, large and small, pockmarked the walls... chunks of earth lay scattered and crumbling.
"What have I done?" I whispered.
A ringing noise answered my voice, jolting me back to the present. Although it sounded familiar, I couldn't remember where I'd heard it before. Curious, I followed its echo up the stairs to Almory's office and opened the door.
The ceiling had caved in, revealing the brightening sky above, and though the table in the middle still held the clay model of the hill, it had shattered under the weight of the collapsing earth.
I followed the ringing noise over to Almory's desk and swept away the dirt with my hands, digging through ruined paperwork until I found what I was looking for. It was an old PEA, its screen flashing with familiar dwarven runes: "Tap screen to accept call".
For a minute, I hesitated. I'd read the same words four years before... Back then, I hadn't known anything about technology, or portals, or the timewar...
The device continued its incessant ringing, and I picked it up, sitting down in Almory's chair. Holding my breath, I tapped my finger on the screen.
"Hello, Vanya Carena," said a voice.
Joseph's too-perfect face smiled at me from the PEA's screen.
I was too stunned and broken to feel angry. "It's you... Why are you talking to
me?"
"Why should I not?" he asked with a smile. "I find it worthwhile. Do you not as well?"
His smile annoyed me. People were dying everywhere, and he didn't seem to care at all. "I don't want to talk to you," I told him quietly. "You'll use me again."
"Not at all, not at all," Joseph crooned. "In truth, I had believed you were dead until a few hours ago, when one of my men sighted you near the portal." He paused for a moment, observing me with watchful eyes. "I suppose you want to visit Parasol and then get back to Spearbreakers, no?"
I didn't answer, wrongly believing it would keep him from learning anything.
"Your silence speaks volumes, Vanya," Joseph continued. "You believe Parasol to be the 'good side' in the Timewar. You believe Ballpoint is evil."
"That isn't true," I said. It felt good to tell him he was wrong.
It didn't slow him down. "Perhaps not entirely, but what you don't realize is that Parasol is no better."
"That's
your opinion."
"Perhaps so, perhaps so," he replied with a smile, continuing in his smooth, musical voice. It sent shivers down my spine. "However, your lack of information impedes your judgment. Unlike Eris, Parasol and Ballpoint are devoid of any sense of morality. Ballpoint serves money, and Parasol serves science. Ballpoint protects its clients' offers, and Parasol protects its experiments."
"That doesn't mean they lack morals," I argued.
The man smiled unnervingly and raised a finger. "This is true, this is true," he noted. "However, Ballpoint seeks to destroy Spearbreakers, and only for the sake of money. Parasol seeks to protect it, and only for the sake of its experiment."
"The Holistic Spawn," I guessed, wary of any traps he might lay. "Parasol, at least, is doing the right thing."
"Indeed, the Holistic Spawn," Joseph said slowly, tapping his fingertips together. "Tell me, little one... What if Spearbreakers threatened to destroy Parasol's experiment? What if someone hired Ballpoint to protect Spearbreakers? Ballpoint would do so, no?"
I saw his point, and I didn't have an answer to it.
"Eris is different, little one. We seek to destroy those who would seek to destroy the less fortunate."
It was hard to believe he could even
make such a claim. "You want me to believe Eris is the 'good side', but you try to slaughter millions of innocent people?"
Joseph laughed, a discomforting sound that bubbled through the ruined room. "Innocent, you say? You call them innocent, even as they pull people from their homes, even as they invade established territory, even as their precious experiments bring tens of thousands of
truly innocent lives to an end. They genetically manipulate sentient creatures and induct unknowing participants into their ranks as 'Sleeper Agents'?" He paused for effect, and continued, "Participants such as you, Vanya?"
"
You controlled me, Joseph," I said, beginning to glimmer with frustration. "You made me kill dozens of people who didn't deserve to die."
"The faults of the employees and the faults of the company are the same," he replied smoothly. "Employees may leave their companies at any time, and if they choose not to, then they share their company's ideals."
I furrowed my brow at him angrily. "You made me kill
children."
"An employee is an employee, regardless of its age," the man chided gently. "Two dozen lives, if lost at the appropriate time, can save millions of others. If those two dozen people had not died, Ballpoint would never have renewed their attack on Parasol, and would not have accepted their client's offer. Many other worlds might have felt their destructive tread."
I hesitated, puzzling over what he'd said, and my eyes widened as I figured it out. "
You're the client," I whispered. "You hired Ballpoint to destroy Spearbreakers... you're trying to make them destroy each other."
Joseph gave a slow, solemn nod. "I must. If I do not, they will travel to other planets and dimensions after they destroy Everoc, as they have done many times before, destroying trillions of lives. However, if they fall apart under their own leadership and disband, all those lives can be saved." He smiled gently. "I am not alone in my belief, Vanya. Hundreds of people follow behind my lead, and among them is your friend, Mr Frog."
I faltered for a moment, making up my mind not to let him know I knew about the clone. "He couldn't do it willingly," I offered quietly.
"Perhaps not, particularly not the clone you know. However, the original works for me at Eris, and has developed advanced weaponry and espionage equipment for me. Of course, he has no idea what he is helping create."
I hoped he didn't know about how Mr Frog had sent someone to warn Parasol... but after listening to him talk, I wasn't sure of what he
couldn't know. "You cloned him?" I asked, feigning surprise.
"It was necessary," Joseph said in terse reply. "We all have a set of ideals, little one. They drive us and make us stronger. While Parasol and Ballpoint serve science and money, Eris serves morality. We serve the greater good. I do not seek to kill Parasol or Ballpoint's employees, but merely to destroy their companies, so they will cease wreaking havoc on the multiverse."
At the time, I couldn't see any flaws in his arguments. I badly wanted to be able to tell him he was wrong... I didn't
want to believe him. "You tried to kill me," I pointed out. It was all I had left.
"At the time, you would not have worked for me, and Parasol changed the Sleeper access codes. You were an advantage that was dangerous for Parasol to continue to possess. Removing you kept Parasol from killing Kannan, who was detrimental to their position." He paused for a moment and smiled almost fondly at the memory. "I was actually quite pleased when I found you had survived and destroyed your bracelet. A needless death was avoided.
"Perhaps I should allow you some time to think it over," the man said with a thoughtful air. "When I see you have made your decision, I shall contact you again."
And with that, the PEA's screen went dark.
☆