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Wait for the next release. I want usable mugs damn it!

55 (71.4%)

We can use the current one. I like the big trees and slightly smarter dorfs.

17 (22.1%)

I'll take .34.11 thanks. I want to know I'll get to kill things for sure.

5 (6.5%)

Total Members Voted: 77

[Mr Frog]

So basically now we have to constantly highlight anything you two post?

Ah, yes, this is why it bugged me. Thank you.


@Xahnel:

I can yell pretty well, I think, but the problem is that I live in an apartment, so lots of repetitive yelling could invite a fair bit of trouble... I didn't consider that. Poop.
    I might still be able to do this, but it'd be a pain to have to work around the fact that none of the characters I voice would be capable of yelling under any circumstances on pain of death.

[Xahnel]

Just use cold anger that russian dictators used to be famous for. That tone of voice that says "prepare for gulag. Then hard labor for rest of life. Or maybe headache .357".

[Draconik_Sankis]

Draconik's Log: Down the Rabbit Hole

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Draconik Hurried around the completed portion of the exterior holding area, the FS-Egg Was close to hatching and Draconik still had hundreds of tests to prepare, then he stopped hearing the faint clicking sounds coming from the egg, then it expolded outward as its resident tore though its protective shell like a laser knife through butter and Draconik barely dodged the fragments.  The creature stood up from the wreakage of the shell as Draconik noted the creature before him, the roughly dwarf-like being stood a full foot above that of a normal dwarf and it rested upon four legs, the back two looked looked more for stability and forward movement while the forward pair had a slight curve to them and looked like they were a secondary weapon more-so than legs, until it took a step towards Draconik and he noted it assisted the rearward pair, its arms however were special, one was just a elongated verison of a dwarf's arm while the other was not only elongated but it's fingers seemed fused into a speartip, the creature stared at Draconik, and he saw a sort of intelligence behind its eyes, that was when a captured HS nearby howled and caught the FS's attention, it bore down on the HS and within a quarter of a mintue had killed the HS, the foreward legs had torned the teeth from the HS's chest-mouth and it's pike hand punched through and removed the hear, Draconik Noted that the pike-hand's fingers could open slightly but only enough for minor item maniuplation.  The FS sniffed the dead HS before shattering the heartstone upon a nearby rock, the FS then sniffed the air and ran off into a semingly random direction, but Draconik knew the Hunt was on, Spearbreakers was a little safer, and as he turned away from the managled HS and walked back into Spearbreakers, He hoped he was one step closer, to his true goals.  He didn't notice when five minutes later the "dead" HS shivered and from the hole where it's heart once was, a smaller verison of the FS-1 poked out of the corpse, sniffed the air and began to follow the larger, he didn't become aware of one trait in the FS-1 until much later, he didn't know then that the FS-1 had one secret.  They could reproduce their numbers much faster than the HS could infect others.

-*Meanwhile*-
Parasol Headquarters Lab 0 - Board of Directors meeting room.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Five Personnel Files stood opened before the Board, three were empolyees, two were labeled enemies of Parasol, one was Joseph whos profile had been updated with Wari's Data, the other was a rouge Ballpoint employee one Mr Frog, also labeled as highly dangerous, it had taken three expert Parasol spies to collect his data, and only one of them was still in service now.   The twenty-one man board reviewed each of the files in turn, these five were all linked to one another, in one gaint spider's web.  Draconik, Mr Frog, Wari, Jospeh and Vanya, each one a was but a piece on the chessboard, however it was one chessboard that had just greatly impacted Parasol.  A image formed over the table of the directors, it showed the entire world upon which Spearbreakers rested, then the details of the world began to appear around it.
83.591% HS-Infection ratio, Chrono-Distortion at 37% and rising, Enviromental damage at 91% as the very world started to die at the touch of the spawn, and the pollution of those who tried to survive choked the world.  Then one set flashed red,  Time-Stream Strain 99.371%, Time-Stream breakdown Imminate.  The Directors reviewed this data and then the a few other reports before they casted votes, it was 21 to 0,  The world would not be rebooted this time, their agents would not be extracted, Draconik had been too much trouble anyway, although Wari would be a slight loss to Lab 6.  They Reviewed Joseph once more and downgraded him to a minor threat, and then they reworked their angles towards the larger threat of Ballpoint Inc.  As this update occured a figure in a different Time-Bubble Smiled as all his plans seemed to complete themselves, now all he had to do was Wait, but he had other plans, and with that Jospeh Smiled.

*Parasol News Report Uregent To All Labs*

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ballpoint has successfully attacked and nearly destroied Lab 3, all Labs are to Setup extra fortifications at their time portals and await further orders from Lab 0.

Draconik Log: R&D + R&R with a Side order of Training

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

After the Deployment of FS-1 Draconik Finished his lab's expansion and managed to spread out some, a Geo-thermal power station provided power for his new research equipment and a small two way exchange device *meant to allow items to go between labs via time holes*, his lab now consited of a small room for rest, his R&D lab his testing area and an area for Vanya and him to practice Hand to Hand combat, something she prefered although she had to work at becoming good at it, Draconik however thought she could do better with ranged weapons, but her morals prevented and Draconik knew better than to push her on that subject.  Although through her he was able to relay information to Wari, until he got her a spare PEA and she admited to him more than a few tidbits of information, to which he laughed and relaied her new status as founder, shocking her.  Days turned to Weeks, which turned to Months as Vanya trained under Him, Wari and Mr Frog.  Then one day, He got a message from his old assistant, He informed Wari of it immenditaly along with what he planned to do.  His time of operating in the Shadows was Over, Draconik Raised himself up from his lab chair and went over to his lab, He opened the chest there and removed a prototype an item he was hoping never to have to complete, never have to use.  But then again, when time starts to run out, the only thing to do is to generate more.  And Draconik Knew just where to setup his device,  there was only three problems.  The demons who'd try to make their escape (or as most called it, the Clown Car), Two him sneaking down into the bowels of the world to setup the device, and three, his Ancestor, Emporer Sankis, the whisper that plauged his resting mind and had drove Draconik to more than one brust of outrage at that damned flaming fool.  But For Spearbreakers... he'd do it, despite his hidden status he liked it here, however there were others who had to know, He shot one message off over PEA to Wari, and then another to the being he thought his friendly rival, Mr Frog, and then he arose and proceeded out of his lab (turning on defenses and locking the door first) and proceeded slowly up the stairs to let the one dwarf in true charge of this place know.  He Went to find Splint.

[Xahnel]

Very nice draconik. Fs1 lives.

One request.

Your first log has a grand total of five sentences.

Please, please, run it through microsoft word with the spelling and grammar check on. I know it can be annoying, but it would really help.

In fact, how about everyone who write stories do this? It would improve the quality, and make Talvieno's archiving job that much easier.

[Talvieno]

Everyone seems like they're pretty interested in the movie trailer idea. lol   There's no way I could pull it off by myself - it was just a script for the fun of it. Also, I wasn't going to really put much in, voicewise... I've got a good voice for voiceovers (deep, smooth, etc, according to what I've been told), but  I was going for "dramatic".

FOLLOWING ARE MAJOR SPOILERS (if you haven't read all of Spearbreakers) (and actually, even if you have)

May be important to note, as it's not made canon yet:
    I imagine Parasol as, unlike Ballpoint, a massive planet-girdling complex, with buildings connected through long "tram tunnels" with hyperaccelerated air-bubble protected vehicles in a vacuum.

    At the end of Spearbreakers, I think that the dwarves will have already learned about the timewar. It can't be kept a secret from them forever. At the end, I imagine Ballpoint attacking Spearbreakers when Parasol rushes in (Spearbreakers is practically a Parasol base, given that there aren't really any Ballpoint agents). I don't want to say exactly where I imagine Vanya in all this, but I do imagine an unprecedented battle on the ground, with an immense air battle occurring in the skies above. Spearbreakers has something that both sides need... otherwise they wouldn't be there in the first place. The fact that the Spawn are there isn't enough of a reason anymore, I don't think.


Also, YES, I realize that most of the following wouldn't really be possible to make. But I figured maybe we could take movie clips and shove them together. If it was non-profit, it'd be fine (hopefully).


(by the way, the majority of the following is taken directly from my notes.)

MUSIC: RALLYING THE DEFENSE  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruPk4RD19Nw

SPLIT UP OF MUSIC:
0:00 - 0:33 = Quiet ambience
0:33 - 1:17 = Increased tempo, seems... thoughtful? Eye-opening? Suspenseful?
1:17 - 1:20 = Ramp up
1:20 - 1:35 = Power tempo, running, rushing implied
1:35 - 1:50 = Dramatic vocals, triumphant battle scenes implied
1:50 - 2:05 = Quieter dramatic vocals, battle death implied
2:05 - 2:11 = Ramp down
2:11 - 2:14 = Silence


0:00 - 0:33:
Couldn't decide if this would be better as a voiceover or text, blank background or images from the different fortresses. Still can't decide. If it's a voiceover, it needs a lot more embellishment - "First... there was the madness that was Boatmurdered"  etc.
FIRST
    THERE WAS BOATMURDERED

THEN
    THERE WAS HEADSHOOTS

FINALLY
    THERE WAS SYRUPLEAF

AND THEN FOR 200 LONG YEARS
    THERE WAS NOTHING

BUT NOW, A CONTINENT AWAY
    STRUGGLING TO SURVIVE
    IN A WORLD CAUGHT BETWEEN DIMENSIONS:


    SPEARBREAKERS (definitely at least partly text on black screen, hold it for a few seconds)

(bang, switch immediately to next part, no fadeout, no pause)

0:33 - 1:17
Most of the following would be a few seconds long each. I doubt we'd be able to fit all of it in. Oh well. Also, all of these are just ideas. I didn't even have a script yet. This part feels like it begs for more voice acting.
- Splint voiceover: "Ladies and Gentlemen... I'll be straightforward. We're going to a very dark place."
   [Blood plains, blood raining from the sky]
- Closeup of blood rain staining a green tree leaf
- shot of the corpse-strewn wagon road
- Mr Frog measuring out ingredients into a test-tube sock
- Still shot of piles of mugs in darkened corners
    Cavy comes out from beneath the piles and stands up, twitching its nose
- Reudh peeking around a corner at rose
- Moonlit shot of Splint's architecture
- Shot from Mitch's shoulder at his hands as he turns the pages of a necromancer tome (with popup pages!)
- Still shot of the cavy corpses in the pit under Mr Frog's bed
- Random dwarf looking dizzy from the spiked booze
- Shot of the caverns from above, Ugeth's flames licking up from far below
- Metal spider vehicle climbing between shelves in Ballpoint's storage building
- A coffin full of the Master's teeth in front of a quiet funeral audience
(start Fischer's last stand speech around here)
- Hundreds of zombies pouring in over the blood plains                                                                         "There are things out there..."
- Overhead shot of one of Ballpoint's garages                                                                                     "things that dwarfkind has never seen."
- Huge Octavians rolling out through a border forest, with Ballpoint squads coming out of the bushes            "They've destroyed our homes... killed our families... burned our towers."
- Hundreds of Ballpoint mechs, ships and troops silently besieging Spearbreakers                                       "Now they sit outside our gates. We cannot let that stand."
- Closeup of Joseph's face, smiling with an evil glint in his eyes                                                              "If we must die today,"
- Contractors leaping aside as a battlesuit's gatling gun sprays the floor with bullets                                  "then let us make the world tremble!"
- Confused Spearbreakers dwarf sitting in a mech cockpit (because lol)                                                   "Let them know that we are dwarves, and"

-"THIS    IS    SPEARBREAKERS!"

1:17 - 1:20
SPEECH: (lead into with the previous parts. it's a voiceover)
- Fischer (yelling an encouraging speech):    "There are things out there... things dwarfkind has never seen. They've destroyed our homes... killed our families... burned our towers. Now they sit outside our gates. We cannot let that stand. If we must die today... then let us make the world tremble! Let them know that we are dwarves, and THIS   IS   SPEARBREAKERS!!!"
- During the last bit of the speech, for all of three seconds: Helicopter-style computer-generated fly-by of the spike bridge while active, whites out into the next part (or maybe just show Fischer standing on a throne above the military, raising her pike)

1:20 - 1:35
There's probably no way to fit all of these in in the time allotted. These were just ideas. I wanted something that went with the music.
- Underwater shot of some of Parasol's glassed-in underwater facilities
- Draignean saying "surprise" as the wall falls down between the soldiers and the spawn
- Vanya shouting "I'll find you!" to Salaia through a glass door as Ballpoint contractors try to pull her away
- Still shot of the air in Eris's huge portal coalescing into a rippling portal surface
- Random injured dwarf screaming "Not the hospital" as he's dragged along by two orderlies
- Fischer removing a Spawn's teeth
- Rose slapping Splint
- Huge chemical vat spilling everywhere at Ballpoint as Hans and Urist run
- Vanya running down the hallway as Mr Frog yells "You cannot hide forever, little spy."
- A huge number of Spawn chasing after a dwarf
- A Spawn Siege charging over a hill on grizzly bears
- The Master laughing maniacally

1:35 - 1:50
Most of these would be one beat long - that's (I'm roughly guessing) about 0.8 seconds each. A few might be longer, and I doubt we'd be able to fit all of them into there.
- Jack Magnus severing heads with his axe
- Urist and Vanya rushing down a corridor as it collapses behind them
- Someone rushes into room, flinging door open, horrified look, says, "My Count, he's trying to build magma pumps!"
    Shot turns: Splint yelling "I said NO!" while he throws a mug
        Shot turns: Said mug splintering against a wall
- Talvi jumping down on Mr Frog with her axe as he spins and blocks with his sawpike shaft
- Hans and Urist under fire at Ballpoint, hiding behind doorways
- Fischer using pike as a pole vault, flying over the heads of enemies and killing them as she comes down
- Iohannes and Mr Frog fighting beneath the fortress as Urist tries to stop them
- Vanya in the condemned dump, throwing her first journal at Mr Frog's face
- The Master: "CARNAAAAAGGGEEEE!"
- Bugi leaping up the side of an Eris tank with a grenade
- Hair trying to kill a dog (lol)
- Vanya and Urist surrounded by charging gorlaks
- Classic Ballpoint/Parasol timewar shot
- Parasol singularity cannon shooting a shot past the camera in the middle of a battle - space "warps" around it as it goes by a la Crysis's Hunters
- Hans and Urist in combat
- Mr Frog firing a serrated disc launcher
    Closeup of a bar spiraling into a serrated disc
- Scythod ambushing Ballpoint Contractors from beneath the sand
- Vanya twirling and striking at Mr Frog with her daggers
- Fischer charging alone into a spawn siege
- Demons slaughtering animals as bolts fly past from all sides
- The Master going crazy and slicing people to bits while Fischer charges him
- Spearbreakers' dwarves rushing out with Mr Frog's invented gear to battle the interdimensional companies (On Parasol's side?)
- Overhead shot of a huge interdimensional dogfight between Eris, Parasol, Stone Inc, Ballpoint, above Spearbreakers

1:50 - 2:05
Not enough room for all of the following, just like everywhere else. Again, just ideas. Most of these are one beat long, too.
- A dwarf on fire, transforming into a Holistic Spawn
- Rose and Halen kicking Ballpoint ass (spoilers)
- Spawn fleeing in terror from the axedwarves
- Reudh discovering Splint and Rose together
- Fischer atop a mech, pulling her spear out as it slowly falls backwards toward the ground, its pilot dead
- Splint kicking Reudh in the rock nuts (again, lol)
- Urist flung against a wall by a Holistic Spawn
- Ballpoint and Parasol troops meeting in combat, fighter jet zooms low overhead, dropping charges
- Splint yelling "FOR STOVA!!!" as he charges the enemy
- Armies of Spawn and Spearbreakers's militia charging each other at the final battle
- Fischer getting dragged down under scores of Spawn
- An entire army of troops falling unconscious before a single manamaid
- Mr Frog standing inside Eris with a small dwarven entourage, across the room from Joseph, who, shocked, suddenly finds that he can't get his portal to work, and he has no escape.

2:05 - 2:11
There's only enough room for one or two of these at most. Maybe even just one.
- Sus standing alone on the spikebridge, holding back the hordes as his allies flee into the fortress
- Scoll-by of Ashsaber's and Softa's cells
- Still shot of a golden rose on The Master's casket
- Mug falling in slow motion and shattering on the floor
- The haunted clover
- Terrahex slinking into the shadows

And following that, maybe something generic like "COMING SOON" or "RATED R", but enh, I don't know.


Unfortunately, this is pretty far from what you guys thought would be cool... Everybody seems to want lots of voice acting. I don't have a mic, though. :\

EDIT: The Spearbreakers TVTropes page is now longer than either Battlefailed's or Boatmurdered's. whoa.
^{And Splint, Mr Frog isn't maintaining it, so you can probably take that down from the OP.}

[Xahnel]

Pure epic, talvieno.
Now, as for the video... -smiles- you find me sprites, i'll get animating.

As well, tell us how many clips would be in each section.

[Splint]

I was under the impression he was, at least early on. And I'd say that's a good thing since there's no end to the funny shit going on. I'll clean that up right away.

EDIT: Is it wrong I approve of everything on our TVTropes page because they work so well as quick descriptors? Also I need to look something up, because you guys may have missed a reference to an older fortress.

Show of hands, who missed the Boatmurdered reference in the battle where Thili got picked up by Ballpoint?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Because The Smooth Points of Pride is the area surrounding Boatmurdered.

[Mr Frog]

Spoiler: Written completely off the top of my head (click to show/hide)

[Narration:] In the halls of the Mountain King...

King: Ah, Splint, my most trusted -- *sound of papers rustling, muffled dwarven curse* -- er, whatever the hell it is thou doest, I have called thou here on a vital mission. One on which the future of our very way of life hangs on.
Splint: [panicked] Oh... oh mercy! You want me to clean the royal magma pump, don't you? Th-those things are dangerous! Have mercy, O benevolent King! I know not what I did to incur your wrath, but I swear on my father's best --
King: [sharply] Enough! [resuming composure] I need thou to found me a fortress, Splint. Somewhere very specific. This is important.
Splint: *gulp* I don't suppose it's a nice beachfront location?
King: Well, no. It's a blasted wasteland in the middle of Spawn territory. *terrified noise from Splint* But I hear the weather is... nice.
Splint: Sp-Sp-Sp-SPAWN!? Sire, I cannot -- there's no way -- I-I-I --
King: Nonsense! I'm certain that the right choice was made in selecting thou. Thy natural skill with a pike is... erm... readily-evident.
Splint: ...Sir? I'm a clerk.
[beat]
King: Er, certainly thy true talents will make themselves known in time. *Claps twice* My guards will escort thou to the caravan, where thou wilst encounter the rest of thy entourage.
*sound of metal boots walking towards listener*
Splint: W-wait? Why me? Why there!? W-why any of this!?
King: I, er, fear the internal machinations of a country's government are far too complex to distract thou with. Rest assured, I have my reasons.
Splint: *sounds of a struggle* No! This is injustice! I won't do this, you hear!? You can't make me!

[Narration:] One involuntary caravan ride later...

*Sounds of rain*
Splint: [monotone] Is it raining blood?
Fischer: Yes. [beat] Are you going to whine about that as well?
Splint: In a bit, I'd expect.

E: I'm, er, not volunteering for any long-term scriptwriting with this. I was just in the mood.

[Splint]

Seems like it was a fancy way of saying "Take this group of unstable jackoffs and get out of my sight." Overall, I approve, cause it actually made me laugh.

[Hanslanda]

*Sounds of rain*
Splint: [monotone] Is it raining blood?
Fischer: Yes. [beat] Are you going to whine about that as well?
Splint: In a bit, I'd expect.

Heh. I lol'd.

[Talvieno]

Lol, that was good. But it's really more of an intro than a trailer. =P Splint wrote an intro, too, if you haven't seen it (actually, I edited it before I posted it up, so it's half Splint, half me).  Yours was funnier, though, even if out-of-character.



Following soon will be (hopefully) a link to an uploaded mp3 of myself acting like a moron. >.> I totally failed when I tried to make my voice go deeper, though - I couldn't manage it at all (result of being nervous (why nervous? I have no idea)). You may also hear birds and other outside noises. But it's my voice. And I'm an idiot.

I'm having trouble discovering a place to upload it.
Here's a link to the madness. Holy shit, I sound awful. And stupid. Really, really stupid.
But there ya go, I made a total fool of myself. Now it's your turn.

[Mr Frog]

Dropbox maybe for uploads? Mediafire kept giving me annoying pop-ups stubbornly insisting I download things that totally were not trojans

Spoiler: TIP FROM SOMEONE WHO'S SPENT ENTIRELY TOO MUCH TIME DOING THIS STUFF: (click to show/hide)

Don't worry so much about replicating a certain pitch or tone. For one thing, it won't work; everyone's vocal apparati are built differently, so everyone has their own unique spectrum(s) of frequencies and overtones and subtly-different methods of achieving them. It's not just a matter of 'oh, I'll just raise/lower my voice'; even if you can hit the target pitch, you won't have the same degree of variance in your tone as whatever you're attempting to emulate, and it'll be really obvious.
    Emotion, emphasis, and other nonverbal cues are conveyed by inflection -- think of the difference between 'Pizza?' and 'Pizza!!!'. Just speak normally and focus on getting the inflections right for whatever you're trying to project. (Also, remember that everyone has a unique set of inflections that they use to convey meaning; for example, some people empasise words primarily by raising the pitch as they're saying them, while others say it louder or draw out the vowels.)
    It'll help if you're relaxed, too. If you're self-conscious or otherwise rattled, your vocal chords will tense up, and tense vocal chords are difficult to control and sound funny. It's hard to force oneself to stay relaxed, but it's still necessary.

E: Probably best to point out that I was ninja'd by Talvi's edit.

[Splint]

Did well enough. You sound like you'd be a technician or something similar to me for some reason.

[Xahnel]

Anyone got any requests for lines or voices they'd like to hear? My specialty is characters from yugioh abridged.

[Aseaheru]

wadabout Stone INC? do do they not exist because i have not been able to scan the mound of images...

also, i cant take a turn due to school. DARN YOU 11TH GRADE!

also, I LOVE THIS THREAD. CONSIDER ME THRALLED TO SPEARBREAKERS.