Likot did not want to leave the mountainhomes. She was approaching middle age, and she liked the urban lifestyle - occasionally hauling a rock somewhere when someone implied she was lazy, but mostly hanging out with her friends in the central booze stockpiles. What would the mountainhomes be without dwarves like her? She was atmosphere. Also, she really, really didn't want to leave. Like, really.
"Well", said the clerk in front of her, "perhaps you should have thought of that before you made the royal sunshine stockpile cave in on itself."
"It was just a prank", said Likot weakly. "The guys thought it was hilarious."
"So you're a 73-years old woman who still employs useless practical jokes to impress "the guys". Tell me again why I shouldn't send you away."
"It wasn't useless!" shouted Likot. "I... practiced my mining?"
"So you did. And now you are..." The clerk consulted her papers. "Oh, you have got to be joking. Adequate? Honey, my son is an adequate miner, and he's thirteen and training to become a lye maker. That clinches it. You're a parasite. I will find a useful project for you, preferably somewhere far away from civilisation."
"But... but..."
The clerk shushed Likot and started rifling through her papers again. She was humming under her breath, a patriotic anti-goblin march. Likot rolled her eyes.
"Oh, here we are," said the clerk. "This location" - she handed Likot a map with a big red X on it - "has been an object of royal interest for some time now. The surroundings could be more benign, I suppose, but I have it on good authority that there is a very important object in this area, probably underground. I will give you command of six other layabouts and send you to find it - you'll know it when you see it. Don't bother coming back empty-handed."
"Why just six? I mean, if we're looking for something that may be guarded..."
"So it has been, so it shall ever be", said the clerk dryly. "Look, you think I like this job? Just for that inane question, I'm going to demand that you all live on the surface."
"What?!"
"No caves. Only the miners may go underground."
"That's... that's crazy! How will we survive? What will I tell the others?"
"That's your problem. Just make something up. Was there anything else, or may I go on break before I collapse from thirst?"
Likot, too dejected to argue further, shuffled out of Inkshowered the Cave of Bureaucracy and down towards the booze stockpile where she had spent most of her adult life. She tried to think of a sufficiently funny goodbye prank, preferably something involving menacing spikes, but she wasn't really in the mood.
***
Did the RNG want this fort to be a community fort? All signs point to yes. For one thing, all starting dwarves except Likot is male, which I understand is something of a must for many forumites. Also, I want to write something, so I'll give it a shot if there is enough interest.
Here are the available dwarves. I have full-fledged mental images of some of them, others are more nebulous, but if you have an idea for your dwarf I'll see what I can do.
-Dodok Nazommetob, Mason. Obviously important in an above-ground fort.
-Adil Mebilroth. Stonecrafter. Will probably be stuck in his workshop most of the time, but I will try to come up with something for him.
-Deler Sarveshtogal. Grower/Brewer, with a point in Armorsmith in case of moods.
-Rith Delethiteb. Woodcutter/Axedwarf and our first militia commander. Has a point in Weaponsmith.
-Zuglar Kilurdid. Carpenter and all-purpose administrator, but not the official expedition leader - that honor goes to Likot.
-Mafol Melbillilar. Miner/Doctor. Apparently quite the grumpy fellow - he has already managed to form two grudges on embark (against Zuglar and Dodok). I made him doctor because he finds helping others very rewarding and is a generally nice guy on paper. So where do these grudges come from? Oh well, I'm not complaining.
Post which dwarf you want and your name for him. I will continue when all are taken.