Did this last night, and I just woke up.
I played with a bucket of margaritas last night, I decided to extend the game by making a "shot" into a gulp, that way I'd be able to avoid alcohol poisoning a bit longer.
So here goes: My dwarves embark in a region that has little standing water. I try to get a few farms set up, but find that my dwarves are too stupid to keep watering the plots. So now I have about 15 arable tiles max. This is okay, but it gets unmanageable after a few migrant waves. Now I've got 30 dwarves that I can't possibly feed with my tiny 3x5 farm. It's summer and the two pools in the area are dried up.
The booze runs out, and my miners have just started working on creating my quarry. Some trees have grown on top of the area I had designated to be mined from underneath. This causes three cave-ins. Two margaritas downed in a few minutes.
Now, this wouldn't have been too bad except now my skilled miners are all bed-ridden, and things are beginning to go very poorly. The food is dwindling, as my hunter is unable to support the fortress anymore. Enter the first mood of the fortress... Asking for shells. This is my most liked dwarf. He rapidly goes insane, and throws himself into the bottomless pit. Third margarita down.
Now, this wouldn't be too bad if the dwarf had been unlikable, and it had happened in a period of time with food, chairs, beds, and ample booze... But as it stands, my fortress is on edge. A tantrum begins, and the dwarf happily destroys the floodgate that's keeping the magma I've dammed out of my future magma pipes. Dwarf is incinerated, and rocks start melting before I can remove the cleaning job, my dwarves decided to go down and clean up the molten rock, and three more are incinerated. Fourth and fifth margarita down.
At this point, my memory starts getting a little fuzzy. Tantrums are popping off left and right, and dwarves are destroying the only other real furniture, the three beds I made are gone, and their residents (the wounded dwarves are unceremoniously tossed out). Doors are burst from their hinges, and several dwarves have just gone insane and withdrawn. Suddenly, my woodcutter goes on a murderous rampage with the fortress's only real weapon, the axe.
I draft seven dwarves to stop the rampaging woodcutter, but he's just too strong. Two more dwarves have thrown themselves into the chasm, and a few more are drooling while a tide of magma floods through the legendary dining room.
And so begins the end. With no legendary dining room to keep the last threads of sanity, the tantrum spiral becomes unstoppable. The only thing that could have made it worse, was the band of goblins that had just snuck in through my quarry (which I was unable to safeguard, as my miners were wounded in the collapse). At this point, I'm pretty well sauced, and I know I'm probably behind two or three margaritas. I down three for good measure, and suddenly get some wicked heartburn.
Dwarves are being murdered, going insane, and magma is tearing through the upper levels, rapidly cutting off any hope of escape. The fortress falls, and I pass out a few minutes later. I failed to complete my bucket of margaritas.
This was the worst fortress I've EVER managed to play.
Author
Topic: Dwarf Fortress Drinking Game (Read 2497 times)