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[birdy51]

..."President Trump, it is I, your ass faced minister, Bannon!" Says the great asshole, poop gingerly falling from his mouth. "I come bearing news from the Alabama. It would seem that...

[kingawsume]

...Gratuitous inbreeding has resulted in genetic mutations, causing some of them to gain extra-human capabilities!" The president responds...

[sprinkled chariot]

This was certainly bioweapon used by liberal lizardmen, as they can't stand SUCH AWESOME MAN making GREAT COUNTRY EVEN GREATER. Give me
my 12 gauge and fuel up my f-15, we will..

[AzyWng]

"Fly over the bastards and give those assholes a taste of World War Three!..." Realizing who he was talking to, the president quickly commented, "No offense."

Bannon nodded, more poop falling from his mouth. "It will be ready within half an hour."

However, as the F-15 was being prepared...

[birdy51]

... A winter wind flies through the air, sending the jet tumbling into a Boeing 47. The subsequent crash elicits a sizeable explosion. The president grunts and opens his Twitter account. He says to Twitter...

[KittyTac]

http://friendsclub.com.ua/public/uploads/redactor/FB_(3).jpg

[sprinkled chariot]

Meanwhile, liberal lizards, nazi vampires and communistic mutants, all secretly united by British queen...

[AzyWng]

Balithos the Seventy-Second, were having a large ball within the House of Commons.

There was much drinking and dancing among the three groups, which was interrupted when the Balithos the Seventy-Second materialized in front of a podium and began to speak. A lizard who was busy performing a particularly difficult portion of a dance sequence turned to look at the queen only to accidentally fumble and earn himself an accidental bite on the neck for his distraction.

"The time for merriment has indeed been fun... but I'm afraid I must tell you why I really called you here.

Now, the United States has been our sworn enemy for quite some time, as you know. Our efforts to get Canada and Mexico to crush them have proven fruitless, to say nothing of the attempts to mobilize Brazil, Columbia, and Argentina. Now, I've heard reports just now that the President of the United States is preparing to crush our forces in Alabama with a lone fighter plane and a pump-action shotgun... While he is traveling there, he would be a perfect target for a..."

[King Zultan]

...conveniently placed banana peel, that will cause him to slip and...

[KittyTac]

Fall headfirst into shit!

[AzyWng]

"Once we have put our trap into place, we have a group of lizards placed all around the trap to wait for the President to fall into it. Once that happens, you must take photos of him face-first in shit and post them upon the Twitter that he so dearly loves.

That will be your mission! Prepare this trap and get the photos out onto social media!

Dismissed!" The Queen ended her briefing with a pound of her fist upon the podium, which caused many of the ball guests to fall over, often atop one another.

[Blood_Librarian]

Donald Trump promptly stops firing his Squad operated Machineguns, and gives htem to his secretary, as the communist fiends he had just shot to death slowly begin cooling, as their corspes were once on fire.

He points and laughs.

"Hey, Secretary of Butts, Get me some..."

[King Zultan]

...more butt solders so we can...