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[Teh Barple]

So, I've been playing around with the DwarfChocolate mod, most notably the extra that adds in Wizard Towers.
A brief note: Wizards are overpowered.
How overpowered?
Wizards are on the level with fully automatic dual Silverballers with magnum ammunition in Hitman: Blood Money, in terms of general overpowered-ness. (Makes fighting them a daunting task, especially if you aren't a wizard yourself.)
Anyways, I had a vampire witch (witches are what female wizards are listed as in Dwarf Chocolate, not to be patronizing.) who'd been slaughtering villagers, bandits, and bogeymen alike. She had single-handedly racked up over four hundred and fifty kills, a large chunk of the sentient population on the small island that she was on. She carried two weapons, one a steel dagger pimped out with the bones of a giant leopard she had slain, along with bone opal gems, and the other, a titanium longsword that had been decorated with the bones of an eagle, as well as various gems. She would walk into villages at dawn, just as the occupants of the houses were beginning to rise, and lay waste to them. Having legendary skills in both sword and dagger, she wore no armor, and simply batted bolts and arrows out of the air. Also being a witch, she had a variety of spells at her disposal. She would use a spell that imbued her with ridiculous speed to run circles around her foes while launching fireballs at long-range targets. After she'd decimated every village besides the capital of Singednoble (an unusually dwarven name for a human town), she set her sights there. She strolled into the marketplace at high noon, and cast a spell causing a merchant nearby to go berserk and create general chaos, before she launched herself into battle. She killed every single living thing in the marketplace in the most violent ways at her disposal (melted one dude's eyeballs). Well, almost everything. Her right hand had been disabled by a goblin planter's crossbow, but her left hand still held her steel dagger, which was responsible for the deaths of over two hundred and fifty souls. She stood down the lone survivor of the marketplace massacre, a human farmer. She lured him over to a cliff, planning to kick him off, and she charged. He dodged out of the way, and she was slightly taken aback by this. She removed a crossbow from her backpack, intending to shoot him from point- blank range. Her shot missed, and the farmer took advantage of this, and went on the offensive. She dodged a particularly anemic blow from the farmer. Over the cliff.
Fell five z-levels before smashing her skull on a rock.
R.I.P. she will be missed ;_;
Moral: ALWAYS SET YOUR DODGING PREFERENCES.

it took me a while to figure out that you were the witch
come on man, just say I

[klefenz]

Adventuring as usual, enter a river to cross it...
BAM! insta-killed by a sturgeon.

[mastamage]

attacking a peacock on the market....

[palu]

By the way, is there a standard name for humans? I can never remember their names.

Olith, I think.

I had this great vampire adventurer. (for me at least.) He could take on entire bandit camps by himself without breaking a sweat. 4 high quality swords and a ball of shields will do that for you. I picked up some great equipment in the sewers, desroyed bandits there, killed a vamp or two... you know. So I was traveling south, night was starting to fall, and I came to a river. I figured, I'll just cross this river, and sleep on the other side. I almost made it across...

[Magnumcannon]

Adventuring as usual, enter a river to cross it...
BAM! insta-killed by a sturgeon.

Dwarf Fortress aquatic life is pretty evil if you ask me. Well, everything is just plain EVIL and will want your head on a stick.

[klefenz]

I'll learn swimming in that pool over there.

You have been encased in ice!

[deepfreeze78]

I don't think anything here can match the one guy who lost three adventurers to a duck, but I do have one incident in which I had a pretty badass adventurer who was going to kill a dragon. I was bored, so I held the arrow key, watched as the landscape flew by...and ultimately came to a painful halt as I ran right into a hippopotamus and was promptly killed to death.

Who lost three adventurers to a duck?

[Cryxis, Prince of Doom]

couldnt find a bridge so i decided i would just swim

then i lost my legs to alligators that proceded to eat/drown me untill i bled to death

[Remuthra]

-Told the miners to dig a pit across my fortress entrance for a moat
-Both miners go
-Told them to get rid of the ramps too
-No picks or metalworking industry
-Tantrum spiral

[Augster999]

After I had gotten an entire squad of warriors and crossbowmen, I walked down stairs, only for me to fall (I am still pretty sure I went down correctly), and for the others to fall on me. Needless to say, not everyone walked out of that stairwell that day.