I recently managed to cut down a buzzard midflight. I was impressed with the nubile adventurer's luck, until the corpse sturck him in the head and bruised the brain. Through a steel helmet. There isn't a .gif on the internet that can properly express my reaction.
Urist McLightningreflexes cancels Live: Interrupted by Buzzard.
Also...you might want to look up the word "nubile." Technically, it does mean "young and fresh," but, ah, probably not in the sense you meant. (-:
Once upon a time, there was an adventurer by the name of, ah, Urist McAdventurer. Yes, that was definitely it. (By the way, is there a standard name for humans? I can never remember their names.) Urist killed a handful of filthy, bloodsucking leeches, as well as helpless, naked crazy people living in caves, who believed themselves to be werebeasts. This wanton slaughter earned her the admiration of the local salt of the earth, who eventually tired of her demands for assassination targets and told her to go ask someone in the Big City, and drew her a crude map with the words "Big City" by the words "somewhere north of here." So to the big city she went, and asked the first person she saw for a job. Naturally, she jumped at the chance to go kill some thugs in the sewers.
Those of you who've actually played adventure mode and been down to the sewers just cringed. This was early in my adventuring career, so I didn't know any better. And yes, the main nooby mistake showcased here was going into the sewers in the first place.
Those of you who haven't just need to know that the sewers are a maze of little twisty passages, all alike. Even if you have a good sense of direction, you're pretty much guaranteed to get lost, and it's very, very hard to find your way back out once you're in. Oh, and you'd better hope you're a vampire, because they're inhabited entirely (at least in my experience) by sapients--so there's no food to be had--and at some point, you're going to need to swim, which will take you under an overhang that can drown you pretty much instantly.
Anyway, I spent the next few in-game days trawling for the bandit leader I was supposed to kill. I slaughtered literally dozens of helpless fish people and lizard people and other bandits (stealing their armor, if available), who except for the fish people were generally clumsy once I got them into the water. In my defense, they
did all attack me on sight. Oh, and they all came back to life whenever I slept, due to a bug in the way populations are handled in the current version. So I slaughtered them again! Huzzah! For law-giver and country!
Finally,
finally I found my target, and it was sheer luck. I had given up, and was trying to find my way out before I starved to death. I'd started looking for exits as soon as I noticed my food was running low and that I hadn't seen any animal life. He and his band were the toughest I'd faced yet, partly because they weren't right in the waterway but in a passage off of it, and partly because a couple of them had crossbows. Poor Urist took a bolt to the arm and another to the leg, and I thought that was the end, but I just barely managed to take care of business, and Urist didn't end up bleeding out.
I continued searching for an exit, and finally (I can't emphasize that "finally" enough; sewer levels truly are the worst in any game) found a way out: the waterway led me outside.
As soon as I hit the open water outside of the sewers:
You have been encased in ice!
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Topic: Your most ridiculous and nooby death at DF. (Read 3384 times)