So, i've been off the grid for a while. Even the people here on the forum who i call friends and know me through other means have heard next to nothing from me, and i left behind projects i had promised to dedicate time and effort to. I'm not actually posting this here to seek advice or reach out for help, but i think some are owed more than the radio silence i've provided.
The explanation i have is... messy, and complicated, and i probably won't even talk about the whole of it here just now, but i do want to give a vague idea of what's been going on in my life and why i havn't been around. At first it was just a deficiency of time and energy. I've been writing a novel, and it's the first time in my life i've ever been serious about getting a novel published, at times the work has poured out of me to the point where it was hard to pay heed to much else. I've also been struggling with some identity and anxiety issues that at times were compounded by what was sometimes a daily struggle to avoid slipping into depression. It got to the point where not getting any sleep in a given day became commonplace, though truth be told the extra time didn't aid the almost bipolar variation between frenzied work and inability to get anything accomplished.
Other creative and social endeavours of mine have also suffered, i normally run a group for local writers to get together, swap ideas and run creative exercises, but on that front i haven't done much of anything either. Some professional pursuits have also consumed me to the point of nigh obsession at points. I've had my brushes with freelance journalism, and one particularly involved investigation with rather horrifying subject matter forced me to convince myself that i was toying with a field that i was wrong for, that could ruin my life if i didn't stop.
Back to the topic at hand, for this whole period... i was sort of trying to post here. To contribute to the projects i'd started and the ones i simply liked. Trying to keep in contact with people, but something always seemed to get in the way. At first it was just a lack of time, energy, or leftover creative juice, but it sort of morphed into something different. As time went on and it became clear that i wasn't simply late in posting to things, that i was on hiatus it started to bug me. How often had i gone on unannounced Hiatus before? How often had i left other people hanging so that i could spend some time grappling with a mood disorder or the last tragedy or my own busy schedule? It got to the point where i was scared to post on things, to admit that i had been gone, to remind people that i'd broken a promise, even one that in the scheme of things didn't matter in anyone's life. It was a positive feedback loop of sorts, i was scared to post because i hadn't been posting.
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Topic: An Explanation of Absence (Read 1515 times)