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Author Topic: A piece of Warcraft Fanfiction... Advice loved.  (Read 1039 times)

Foamybeard

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A piece of Warcraft Fanfiction... Advice loved.
« on: August 30, 2012, 10:02:54 pm »

Well...i wrote a terribad thing of Fan-Fiction (Using Original Characters) That takes place in the warcraft universe. As the 'villian' (THe actualy Protagonist) is a Dwarf, I thought I'd post it here...

If people like it,i'll make more.

NOTE: I didn't edit it. I wrote it, and then that was it. Criticism is LOVED.

The name of this story is "Corpsewind Pass"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: August 31, 2012, 01:47:49 pm by Foamybeard »
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rutsber

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Re: I think this goes here...
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2012, 10:06:11 pm »

This would be the correct place. I'll read it as soon as I get a chance.
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Gave me an idea. I'm gonna add the milkable tag to the male minotaur. MMMMmmm minotaur cheese.
A loud angry voice and instinct. "FUCK OFF URIST THIS TABLE IS MINE!"

Foamybeard

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Re: I think this goes here...
« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2012, 10:10:17 pm »

Thank you very much.
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Dwarf Fortress Immortality: Cask of Amontillado-ing all your dwarves.
I'm trying to figure out how creeping eyes vomit despite not having a mouth.

Foamybeard

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Re: I think this goes here...
« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2012, 01:47:14 pm »

Bump.
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Dwarf Fortress Immortality: Cask of Amontillado-ing all your dwarves.
I'm trying to figure out how creeping eyes vomit despite not having a mouth.

rutsber

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Re: A piece of Warcraft Fanfiction... Advice loved.
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2012, 05:48:21 pm »

I thought it was pretty good. I could tell it wasn't edited, but ignoring that, I thought that the story itself was good. It seemed really sudden though, I kind of wanted to keep reading, either about the dwarf or the original party. I think you should continue it.

Also, you're fairly new here, especially to the lower forums. Compared to DF General and the like, Creative Projects is pretty slow. You usually won't get an answer for a day or so. Just a word of advice.  :)
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Gave me an idea. I'm gonna add the milkable tag to the male minotaur. MMMMmmm minotaur cheese.
A loud angry voice and instinct. "FUCK OFF URIST THIS TABLE IS MINE!"

Foamybeard

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Re: A piece of Warcraft Fanfiction... Advice loved.
« Reply #5 on: August 31, 2012, 08:23:17 pm »

Oh, heh...Right. THanks for letting me know that...and I might post more. I'm nor sure.
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Dwarf Fortress Immortality: Cask of Amontillado-ing all your dwarves.
I'm trying to figure out how creeping eyes vomit despite not having a mouth.

Foamybeard

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Re: A piece of Warcraft Fanfiction... Advice loved.
« Reply #6 on: September 12, 2012, 10:33:24 pm »

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Dwarf Fortress Immortality: Cask of Amontillado-ing all your dwarves.
I'm trying to figure out how creeping eyes vomit despite not having a mouth.

AlStar

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Re: A piece of Warcraft Fanfiction... Advice loved.
« Reply #7 on: September 13, 2012, 12:17:05 pm »

Since you're obviously desperate for feedback...

I know that you posted this without editing (both since you said so, but also because it's pretty darn obvious.) Since you're so keen on getting feedback, don't you think it would behoove you to... I dunno... edit?

For example, your first paragraph:
Quote
Braving the treacherous pitfalls on the single path through the dreaded Deadwind pass, was a small group of hHorde adventurers:, comprised of an Orc Warrior, a Troll pPriest, a Tauren Druid, a Forsaken Rogue, and a Blood eElf mMage. The brave adventurers had just been hired to clear out a den of cultists from the Swamp of Sorrows, and were now heading back returning to Booty Bay, bringing the severed head of their leader to the Goblin Fiznips, who had paid them to take the cultists out.

It's just sloppy, and it'll turn people off of reading your story.
« Last Edit: September 13, 2012, 12:19:35 pm by AlStar »
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Foamybeard

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Re: A piece of Warcraft Fanfiction... Advice loved.
« Reply #8 on: September 13, 2012, 01:27:12 pm »

Meh. I guess.
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Dwarf Fortress Immortality: Cask of Amontillado-ing all your dwarves.
I'm trying to figure out how creeping eyes vomit despite not having a mouth.