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[LordBucket]

How did we not have salt anyway? Are we that existentially challenged that we have no groceries?....

Yes, a few pages back it was specified that we haven't been shopping in a month and only have condiments.

Considering that our protagonist can't do his own shopping, summons demons based on input from antique dealers, releasing them without understanding the consequences, and can apparently summon demons, see the magic world, drive shadows around and talk to humanoid bugs...and yet after all that still be surprised and confused when his cat talks to him...I think the verdict here is Too Dumb To Live.

[exolyx]

I would advise going to your kitchen and grabbing the first silver spoon you see. Better to have many defenses than one.

[rarborman]

You go to the kitchen and are depressed by the fact that all your silverware is stainless steel.

[Wrex]

We have a steak knife right? We kill ourselves, we can't get possessed, world is saved. Sorta. carving a protective circle into our own chest could help.

[Tack]

Groceries.