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[TheBiggerFish]

Iiiiii don't think we have any of those.

[sprinkled chariot]

I dont know, how to say anything helpful, but good luck in quest for friends, Mr Hugfish.

[Ghills]

After recently realizing I have exactly zero friends that aren't only on the Internet, I figure I probably need some advice on making them.

How am I supposed to get to know people, on a relatively large college campus?

My interests are basically Bay12, video games, and reading.  I play the violin, but I can already tell I'm not going to make friends from the orchestra.

Also I absolutely detest partying.

Any advice?

I am 100% certain your college has gaming/nerd groups and book groups.  Where can you find lists of clubs? The first few weeks on campus should have some kind of a club fair, unless your college is tiny. If it is tiny, I'm really sorry. Niche people have a hard time finding their niche in smaller places, it's just statistics.

In general, I've had great luck with finding people who seem lonely and being friendly with them.  Not pushy or bugging them - some people are AOK sitting alone or busy or taking a breather, whatever.  But in general, if you notice someone who seems friendless try being nice and see what happens.  Maybe they're friendless for good reasons - trust your instincts. But more likely they're just a little awkward but perfectly nice people.  And that works out because then you're awkward but nice together.   

Also, make sure your body language is accidentally sending creeper signals (weird eye contact, standing too close, etc).  Books were actually a huge help here, I could build up an idea of what was OK and what was weird, then practice it.

[TheBiggerFish]

Isn't, you mean?  :v

Yeah, they have them, but I can't find them.

[NJW2000]

Does your college have a counsellor? Might be god-awkward and clumsy, but he may just be able to help. Also, don't you talk to people in lessons? Because if not, what do you do? I've heard about this whole, "education", thing, or whatever, but it seemed kinda badly thought out and too much work...

Talk irl. As much as possible. This will make you better at talking to people irl. This will facilitate things. Even if its just someone from home on skype or the phone. Or your lampshade with a face drawn on it.

[TheBiggerFish]

That's...An idea.  Don't really talk about outside-of-class things in-class though so no forthcoming friends there, alas.

[TD1]

It's really terrible when good people are too anti-social to talk much in real life.

It's why I'm glad we have the internet - it allows us to interact more fully with great people like TBF.

[NJW2000]

Whyever not? Education bleeds into leisure time, so leisure might as well bleed into education. Class would be a fine place to (discreetly) strike up a conversation.

[TheBiggerFish]

It...Doesn't happen, though.  I mean, like, seriously, I haven't even seen anybody off-topic.

@Th4DwArfY1:Aww, thanks.  *blushes*

[Ghills]

It...Doesn't happen, though.  I mean, like, seriously, I haven't even seen anybody off-topic.

@Th4DwArfY1:Aww, thanks.  *blushes*

In class, sure, most people focus. But what about before or after?  At the very least there might be people chatting about the upcoming lecture, worrying about exams, scheduling group projects, etc.

[Ghills]

Does your college have a counsellor? Might be god-awkward and clumsy, but he may just be able to help. Also, don't you talk to people in lessons? Because if not, what do you do? I've heard about this whole, "education", thing, or whatever, but it seemed kinda badly thought out and too much work...

Talk irl. As much as possible. This will make you better at talking to people irl. This will facilitate things. Even if its just someone from home on skype or the phone. Or your lampshade with a face drawn on it.

Counselor...maybe.  For anxiety or shyness perhaps, but be wary of people who want to give everyone diagnoses and run up therapy bills.

Just talking can be helpful IF the issue is merely a lack of practice. If there's something else going on like overwhelming anxiety or not understanding body language, just trying to talk to people before working out the underlying issue might backfire.  Being labeled the weird one is a real problem, especially if the school or program is small.

[TheBiggerFish]

It...Doesn't happen, though.  I mean, like, seriously, I haven't even seen anybody off-topic.

@Th4DwArfY1:Aww, thanks.  *blushes*

In class, sure, most people focus. But what about before or after?  At the very least there might be people chatting about the upcoming lecture, worrying about exams, scheduling group projects, etc.

But the problem with that is, my schedule is pretty back-to-back.

[Parsely]

Talk about the things you like out loud. I made three friends like this at work, and none of them were people I expected to like those things I liked until they told me; the only reliable way to find people who like the things you do is to loudly broadcast that that's what you like. For best effect, go to places that contain people who are likely to respond to your interests. That is the best way to make RL friends who you actually like and will want to be around outside of the places you are in due to circumstance.

[birdy51]

Oi! First off, congratulations on the college thing.

My suggestion would be to consider asking people you might be interested being friends with whether they would like to join you for lunch/dinner or if you can join them. People need to eat, and eating alongside people is a nice of way of getting to know who they are without necessarily investing anything massive in them.

The second one would be to recommend a fraternal organization IF you are interested in that. I wasn't when I first joined college, but I was able to find a group that suited my own needs and ultimately gave a sense of belonging that was incredibly lacking in my life otherwise. If you're on the fence, going to some of their recruitment events or asking about their reputation is usually enough to get an idea of what kind of guys they are. Heck, even if you don't decide to join, you at least meet some interesting people, so I would generally consider it worth a shot.