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[ancistrus]

Pretty straightforward. We sit next to each other 8 hours a day, why does it have to be 9? I ran out of things to say a long time ago.
Once or twice a week would be allright, but I cant do it everytime. How do I change this (for good) without screwing the relationship?

[The Adversary]

Spoiler: Serious Suggestions (click to show/hide)

"Hey man, I need some time to unwind by myself. See you later."

"No offense, but right now I just want to escape humanity."

"Would you mind giving me some time alone, I just need to regenerate for a little bit."

"Can I get a rain check? I'm a bit too stressed for company."

Spoiler: Not Serious Suggestions (click to show/hide)

Ram a fork 3/8ths of an inch inside their eyeball.

"I am the lone wolf, and the lone wolf eats alone."

Ask if they're ready to take this relationship to the next level.

Conspicuously browse porn while eating lunch. The weirder the better.

Buy this, hollow it out before lunch and fill it with ketchup (hot sauce, or sriracha, or bbq). At lunch, pray loudly in a fake foreign language before you begin eating. After you trail off, wait for the other person to relax, then cry "By the blood of the innocent, we shall be spared!" and wring out the kitten over your food.

[hector13]

If you can take a break at a different time, that's what I used to do when I wanted to eat alone.

[Teneb]

Serious suggestion: Tell them that you don't want to offend them, but you need to be alone for a bit.

Super not serious suggestion: quote Achilles and say "Fool, prate not to me about covenants. There can be no covenants between men and lions, wolves and lambs can never be of one mind, but hate each other out and out an through. Therefore there can be no understanding between you and me, nor may there be any covenants between us, till one or other shall fall”

[nenjin]

Pretty straightforward. We sit next to each other 8 hours a day, why does it have to be 9? I ran out of things to say a long time ago.
Once or twice a week would be allright, but I cant do it everytime. How do I change this (for good) without screwing the relationship?

Not sure how you only do it once or twice a week without sending the vibe you really don't wanna hang out. Guy sounds like he wants a lunch buddy. I got one of those, but I approve of his company because he's a friend of old and we can do silence when we don't have anything meaningful to say.

Just level with them I guess. There's no graceful way to say you prefer to be alone some (a lot) of the time without running the risk of hurting someone's feelings. You could just say pretty much what you said here: "Hey man, we spend about 8 hours together, I'd kind of like an hour to myself once in a while." Do it with the right tone and I don't think that's really a problem. It's honest and reasonable.

[Starver]

I was earlier trying to find a good way of saying something. The 'dishonest' but possibly no-hurt way might be to bring in a textbook for something and when you want some lone-time say you need to study this and need a bit of space. Extra kudos if you do end up studying it and even more if you do get something other than quiet time out of the practice.  But its an lame excuse, at heart, still.

And it occured to me that if when the cow-orker started maybe they were told "stick close to Ancistrus, they' ll show you the ropes" and even though the ropes have been shown, the habit is established. Alternately, when Ancestrus started, the colleague was told "keep an eye on Ancestrus and show them the ropes", to similar effect. (I know I've been quite paternal to newbies in various jobs where I was the established figure, and never quite known where to balance the 'relationship'. Not had anyone suggest I back off, but not sure they weren't thinking that. And I hope I would have complied, or naturally did before it became an issue of comment.)

So, ultimately, honesty is probably the best policy, maybe it is as much a relief to them that 'weaning' officially occurs. Or glue muesli or other types of flakes to the entire visible surface of your skin and fake a skin disease that you can then claim is infectious. And that erupts just as lunchtime comes around on days you want to spend alone, as it happens, during your initial quick trip to the bathroom with that bag of breakfast cereal and adhesive .   Your choice... 

[martinuzz]

Don't change your socks for a few days, should work.

[Antioch]

What if you just literally tell him what you told us?


I am kinda the honest type.

[ChairmanPoo]

What if you just literally tell him what you told us?


I am kinda the honest type.

Fool, prate not to me about covenants. There can be no covenants between men and lions, wolves and lambs can never be of one mind, but hate each other out and out an through.

[pisskop]

'I want to think and be alone, piddle off and kick the rocks out of the gutter you human trashbag.'


^^ that should at least get an interesting reaction.  Maybe even a laugh if you dpo it right.

[Tawa]

I'd go with something like "No offense, but do you mind if I sit alone sometimes? It's nothing personal or anything; I just like to have some time to myself in the day."

[Teneb]

I'd go with something like "No offense, but do you mind if I sit alone sometimes? It's nothing personal or anything; I just like to have some time to myself in the day."

"How dare you refuse the gift of my company! I hate you now!"

[hector13]

I'd go with something like "No offense, but do you mind if I sit alone sometimes? It's nothing personal or anything; I just like to have some time to myself in the day."

"How dare you refuse the gift of my company! I hate you now!"

At least he'd be on his own at that point.

Wouldn't get chatted to at his desk either.

[FantasticDorf]

Though its your own business, nobody's really asked what your relationship (*or albeit lack of a relationship*) is with your co-worker, we don't need a life story but it helps us formulate a more tactful answer to help you.

From my own experiences its a little bit like 'they chose you', without taking that too out of context if you get what i mean. Unless its a forced seating arrangement they prefer to sit next to you in preference to somebody else or alone, its actually sort of flattering in a sense. You don't own their gratitude but in most male to male arrangements (particularly as a man myself speaking about this) we dont really speak but instead sometimes nod, grunt or briefly exchange eye contact to acknowledge each other and do our own thing.

Its like dog's sniffing other dogs and suddenly there is mutual peace in the world, or some ancient pactual promise not to start striking or particularly hate each other for no good reason. Some people say women hate each other, truth is that men hate all men in a competitive sense in the same way but usually settle it via this 'agreement'

Im probably rambling, lets cut to the chase. I agree with some of the stuff here, don't be too apologetic or heavy but just level with them and tell them the situation im sure they'll understand or at-least accommodate to the new changes in seating arrangements in time.