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Author Topic: Dealing With A Loss  (Read 1586 times)

ZebAbirul

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Dealing With A Loss
« on: April 26, 2016, 12:41:22 am »

Today I lost my Mother, and I don't quite know how to handle it. She died very suddenly at the age of 45 due to a severe heart attack and there was no forewarning. She wasn't sick and, although not in perfect health, wasn't completely unhealthy. I have gotten in contact with my immediate family and they all say they are sorry and that they are grieving with me, but I have yet to really start mourning. I guess it doesn't feel real yet. I am not really looking for a cure all or words that make everything better, I just want all of you to tell your surviving loved ones that you love them and that will be enough for me.

Thanks for reading this and I even though I don't know any of you in real life (that I know of) Know that you are loved.

Good night,
Zeb
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NullForceOmega

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Re: Dealing With A Loss
« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2016, 01:21:37 am »

Hey Zeb, I'm very sorry to hear of your sudden loss, and I hope that when the mourning does come, you can get through it.

The only advice I can give about dealing with death is to talk to your family members, listen to their pain, and voice your own.  While it won't make anything better (nothing will) it can help you and them come to terms with it.

I truly wish you well,

Null
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Trapezohedron

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Re: Dealing With A Loss
« Reply #2 on: April 26, 2016, 02:31:59 am »

I would have wanted to say something, but given that I don't really have anything good to impart, I will just wish you all the best, and that it's okay to let things all out at their own pace. Numbness, like shock and disbelief, is normal at that stage. So don't go feeling spiteful of yourself if you can't "grieve" yet.

And yes, thanks for reminding me that the people who are still alive might suddenly...

...and I should go at least thank them. At least the ones who mattered and cared unconditionally. Sad to say not everyone in your life really loves you for who you are through past, current and future states.

Again, I wish you well through your tumultuous times.
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Mostali

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Re: Dealing With A Loss
« Reply #3 on: April 26, 2016, 08:14:37 am »

When my father died (58, heart attack), I reacted similarly.  It took a few days, but then it would just hit me at random times.  I remember once just being at work doing my job, then suddenly making a break for a place I could be alone to cry for 5 minutes. Then I went right back to work.

Be prepared for people to be awkward.  Some get it, some don't, but most people won't know how to treat you for a while.  It'll probably also be one of the most influential events of your life.  For years I did things in his memory.  They hurt, but I wouldn't trade it for anything, as many of those things I did made me a better person and ultimately who I am today.
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Dozebôm Lolumzalìs

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Re: Dealing With A Loss
« Reply #4 on: April 30, 2016, 05:46:30 pm »

When my great-grandma died, I didn't cry, I just felt empty and sad. Also took a while to cry when my grandpa died.

So it's not uncommon.

On second thought, I'm not exactly an emotional representative of any subpopulation, so.. you're not alone at the least?

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NRDL

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Re: Dealing With A Loss
« Reply #5 on: April 30, 2016, 05:54:05 pm »

My sincerest condolences.  Hopefully you'll be able to mourn at your own pace in your own way, unimpeded by other's expectations and life's complications.  Again, sorry for your loss.
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Dealing With A Loss
« Reply #6 on: May 02, 2016, 09:23:55 pm »

* TheBiggerFish applies hugs.

I'll do that.

My condolences as well.

--TBF
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Plex

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Re: Dealing With A Loss
« Reply #7 on: May 03, 2016, 11:12:59 pm »

That's really terrible. Try to stay happy for the next few weeks; after that you won't feel as bad.  ;)

I hope your family continues to be a happy one in the future.

~Plex

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ZebAbirul

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Re: Dealing With A Loss
« Reply #8 on: May 05, 2016, 04:10:38 pm »

Thanks everyone =]

I kind of retreated into myself but now I am more or less back to normal. I really appreciate the kind words and pleasant thoughts.
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Dealing With A Loss
« Reply #9 on: May 05, 2016, 04:13:59 pm »

I'm glad we could help.
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Sanctume

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Re: Dealing With A Loss
« Reply #10 on: May 05, 2016, 05:01:31 pm »

My condolence to you and your family's loss.  Time helps ease the pain of loss.  Remembering her, hearing from those who know her and share their story helps to you help.  Hopefully, you learn and do healthier coping mechanisms or skills in dealing with the loss. Peace.