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[Corai]

I see my dwarves closing my eyes, and going into a variant of the marital trance...

Does that involve the metalcrafter spreading his spores all over the bar of whatever?

Also, sigging this. Epic typo is hilarious, Corai

EDIT: also noticed that you said "dwarves closing my eyes" D:

I know, they dont want me to watch. The rage they enter is so fearsome, it makes little kobolds cry.

[SirAaronIII]

I picture them making the bars into sheets, and then smashing the into the shape of whatever it is they're making. They end up with a hollow, really thin layer statue.

[Blackadder]

The process of dwarven metalsmithing is a long-guarded secret, shrouded in mystery. Most humans would simply assume that dwarves forge their metallic implements and wonders in an understandable fashion, similar to the human method: Using a combination of known techniques such as repoussé and wax moulding.

This could not be more wrong. The real trick to forging a dwarven relic is to rely on one's armok-given tools, and nothing more. This means that to create that perfect Masterwork silver statue of a noble being crushed by a perfect masterwork silver statue in order to fulfill that pesky mandate, he must do what dwarves do best: innovate!

The first step is to heat the metal. Without heat, forging would be impossible. Let us forget for a moment, that while dwarves can in the worst case utilize charcoal as a source of energy, it is still unknown how exactly they light said charcoal, or survive the toxic fumes and oxygen sucking fire it produces, without any ventilation. This heat will optimally render the metal into a malleable, orangeish state. At this point, and it's really important to be as focused as possible, the dwarf must focus all of his/her/its energy into the process of systematically freaking the hell out and punching the living crap out of the molten metal. After a minor near-death experience, the metal will experience a life-altering event, and suddenly decide to change shape into something orderly and pleasant (or completely, idiotically random, and thusly more awesome). In order for this process to result in just the right design, the dwarf must really be dedicated, and willing to slap the crap out of the metal repeatedly until satisfaction is reached.

Well done!

[crazysheep]

I know, they dont want me to watch. The rage they enter is so fearsome, it makes little kobolds cry.

naww.

On topic: The dwarven anvil contains moulds for different objects/depictions (weapons, bins, burning elves, whatever). The metalcrafter dips a bar of metal into the magma/roaring furnace to melt the metal, and then he pours it into moulds on the anvil to piece his statue together. Because he's so blind drunk, he can't tell you what he's gonna make, he can only tell you what the final product is.
As for rock statues, they probably did what most human stonecrafters do - chip away at a massive boulder and make something. Anything.

[slink]

To be honest, I never pictured it at all.  I send an order to the basement.  Later on a statue comes up.  It's hot, dark, and noisy down there in the forge room.  Ore vanishes down the stairs and things made of metal come up.  They can do whatever they want as long as that keeps happening.

Edit:  I did like the post about throwing a chunk of gold against the wall and sticking some bits of metal on, though.     The sticky notes on boulders was good, too.   

[luppolo]

well the sticky notes is the most sensed of all, isn't it true that until you inspect the item description there is no way to tell what's about?

[flieroflight]

Quantum statues.
A dwarf forges a generic statue, and the act of observing the staue collapses it into a single shape.

[tahujdt]

I always figured the dwarf just glared at the metal until it was intimidated enough to change into what the dwarf wanted it to.

Necroed, and sigged

[terko]

They go to the forge, plug in their notebook, select an event from the history and the forge prints out what's selected.

[Mr S]

well the sticky notes is the most sensed of all, isn't it true that until you inspect the item description there is no way to tell what's about?

So, basically, what you're saying is the planepacked bug feature, just means that somebody used A WHOLE STACK OF POST-IT NOTES?!  It almost makes sense...

In related news, does a statue having an image of itself mean that they have recursive, carbon copy post-its???

And regarding the quantum statues, please please please don't make me open up a can of Copenhagen Interpretation on your ass, with a side of Schrödinger's cat.  It will get all Heisenberg'y.

[Urist McSpike]

This means that to create that perfect Masterwork silver statue of a noble being crushed by a perfect masterwork silver statue in order to fulfill that pesky mandate, he must do what dwarves do best: innovate!

The first step is to heat the metal. Without heat, forging would be impossible. Let us forget for a moment, that while dwarves can in the worst case utilize charcoal as a source of energy, it is still unknown how exactly they light said charcoal, or survive the toxic fumes and oxygen sucking fire it produces, without any ventilation. This heat will optimally render the metal into a malleable, orangeish state. At this point, and it's really important to be as focused as possible, the dwarf must focus all of his/her/its energy into the process of systematically freaking the hell out and punching the living crap out of the molten metal.

Why not simply heat the metal into molten goo, and then dip the noble in?  Let the resulting mass cool on a grate, and voila (or "wallah", as they say on the intertubes) you have a statue of a noble!

[Scruffy]

Personally I have always imagined that the secret behind dwarven metalcrafts is having a well crafted and balanced anvil.  It is mandatory and they can't do anything without it.

The little dorflings take a few bars of aluminum, place them on the floor and start hammering and bounding them with the anvil until they take shape.
After that they take a few random pieces of scrap leather, cloth and various body pieces and glue them on the side of the item.