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Author Topic: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior  (Read 23778 times)

WriterX

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #45 on: June 06, 2012, 12:34:43 pm »

And thus it has been written that Urist, the drunkest among the Dwarves, threw a stone at an elephant, not knowing that the very object was a bar of pure iron. The elephant gazed upon the bar and pressed down upon it with its mighty leg, making the bar press down under its great weight.

When Urist awoke from his drunken slumber he gazed upon the strange object, and carried it back to his fort. Thus the first anvil was born.
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ccoolleeiiss

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #46 on: June 08, 2012, 07:57:17 pm »

And then did ARMOK say, the east is the holiest of directions, and thou shouldst not stand there lest thou be strucketh down by my holiest of beards. And then did the dorfs did say, we shall build from the west, for more do we fear the beard of ARMOK than the strike of the elephant.

sigg'd :)
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And then did ARMOK say, the east is the holiest of directions, and thou shouldst not stand there lest thou be strucketh down by my holiest of beards. And then did the dorfs did say, we shall build from the west, for more do we fear the beard of ARMOK than the strike of the elephant.

TubaDragoness

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #47 on: June 17, 2012, 03:08:52 am »

I've always wondered how Engravers manage to carve into solid stone with no tools. Some suggest that they use their beards or their fingernails, but such explanations never seemed to make sense.

And then I realized that these are dwarves, who sit about all day drinking booze and never brush their teeth. Their saliva has reached a level of taint equivalent to a komodo dragon's, but unlike the giant lizard, it manifests as acid instead of bacteria. The level of skill relates to their ability to contort their mouths and tongues into the correct shapes to etch the images into the wall or floor.

This also explains the odd preference for biting in combat, as the saliva prevents wounds from healing quickly when applied thickly enough.
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sjm9876

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #48 on: June 17, 2012, 04:50:24 am »

I've always wondered why they build walls that are unsupported first a lot of the time

Perhaps their exposure to the infinite nature of the universe in the form of quantum stacking has left them unable to comprehend normal physics?
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Blizzlord

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #49 on: June 17, 2012, 04:59:02 am »

Perhaps their exposure to the infinite nature of the universe in the form of quantum stacking has left them unable to comprehend normal physics?
Most likely indeed. +1
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Lord Inquisitor

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #50 on: June 17, 2012, 01:56:35 pm »

I've always wondered why they build walls that are unsupported first a lot of the time

Perhaps their exposure to the infinite nature of the universe in the form of quantum stacking has left them unable to comprehend normal physics?

I blame the quantum locking effect, where you place an object 3" off gourund and it stays 3" off ground,you but it at 45° off angle and 2 " off ground and it 45° off angle and 2 " off ground. Its a real effect, but the Dwarfs know how to do it with entire floors at room temp.
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darkrider2

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #51 on: June 17, 2012, 02:12:40 pm »

First person to explain why dwarves take nearly full bins with lead bars in them out of the stockpile to go pick up one metal bar gets a cookie.
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oven_baked

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #52 on: June 17, 2012, 02:14:16 pm »

They are 'quite stupid' and have been taught that it's more efficient to take the container to the item rather than the other way around.
This is also why they take all your seeds to plant one seed.
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Urist_McArathos

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #53 on: June 17, 2012, 07:43:46 pm »

I have an entire thread dedicated to my own well thought out answers to dwarven behavior, found here.
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adasdad

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #54 on: June 18, 2012, 11:23:54 pm »

First person to explain why dwarves take nearly full bins with lead bars in them out of the stockpile to go pick up one metal bar gets a cookie.
dwarves look more productive if they carry a bin there and back then carrying nothing there and carrying one bar back. that let's them get on the good side of managers and take more breaks.

Also, to the anivil problem, the world of dorfort is built on an anvil of slade. the first dorfs took some metal, still white hot from when it fell from the sky, and forged it into the likeness of their world. Armok then dumped the world as we know it onto his anvil, and is still forging it into a mysterious work of art.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
[/spoiler]
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Silverlock

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Re: Self-imposed explanations of game behavior
« Reply #55 on: June 26, 2012, 11:41:31 am »

Dwarves are all immensely intelligent super-physicists . . . but they have no common sense.  That is why a dwarf can connect a bridge to a lever half a mile way using only two stone mechanisms and no intervening hardware -- quantum entanglement or some such concept, I presume -- and then absentmindedly wall himself out of the fort because his mind is busy formulating the next great Unified Booze Theory.
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Hidden beneath rusting weapons was a mass of assorted bones. An elf, a goblin, even an ogre. All just waiting for someone to walk by and notice them, like some kind of land mine of horror.
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