Chapter 67: Super Secret Agents
Swedish Chef yells Mr. Tom to get his ass here. He does.
"Sorry Boss, I'm here now!"Mr. Tom has joined!The Dagoth People try to inconspicuously back away from the
Zealot Guards. The Guards look at them. Damn, maybe trying to blend in while reading '
Taking Over the Realm: Monthly Edition' wasn't the best idea. (4 vs. 1)
"Listen, maybe if we all sat down like decent sentient beings-" One of the Guards throws a spear at Ur, impaling him in the chest.
"Well now, that's no way to start a conversation!"Dagoth Uthol jumps in front of his superior,
"Don't worry, I'll protect you! Vampire attack!" (6 vs. 5) Uthol launches himself at the guards, grabbing one by the head and throwing him at the others like a bowling ball. Strike!
"Great work, now, let's get out of here before they wake up!"And thus, the
H.O.E.S. set out to the next location on their map. At a decent rate, the trip will take about 3 days to the South.
-5 Weeks Later-
Northern Virginia
11:30 P.M.The party walks past fields upon fields, trees dotting the rural Virginian country-side, the sights illuminated by the occasional lamp post on the wide cobblestone road they transverse upon.
"Woo-wee! Like we're right back at home, huh Big Mac?" The red stallion nodded,
"Eeyup." "Hey Twilight, how much further towards the next stead?""According to the map, the Plantation should be right ahead...yes, there it is!" "Doesn't look like the guards are anything but chumps. Let's take em' out." Al Capone pulls out his signature Tommy Gun.
"No! We'll need to do this discreetly. Everyone, read the letter:"Inside the Plantation are several prisoners of war, most of them being high ranking military and political officials of the United States. As a group, your key mission is to rescue these prisoners, and most specifically the V.I.P. You'll know who he is when you find him. If the V.I.P. is killed, this mission will be a failure.They're all being kept in the Master Bedroom behind a locked door which is most definitely guarded.
Even though these guards are basically armed citizens, stay quiet. If any of them hear or see you, they'll raise the alarm and suddenly you'll have every villager and soldier for miles coming after you. No unsuppressed firearms, no explosions, no big flashy displays. Coordinate your attacks, and stick cover and shadows so you won't be spotted. You have to subdue these guys, so you don't even have to kill them. Just get them to the point where they can't get to the alarm or fight back.
-Cadence
Plantation Guards:Guard #1: Guarding the front porch with Guard #2.
Items: Hunting Rifle
Untrained: -1 to CombatHealth:
FineGuard #2: Guarding the front porch with Guard #1.
Items: Hunting Rifle
Untrained: -1 to CombatHealth:
FineSweeper #1: Sweeping the fields to the West.
Items: Shotgun with Flashlight
Untrained: -1 to CombatHealth:
FineSweeper #2: Sweeping the fields to the East.
Items: Shotgun with Flashlight
Untrained: -1 to CombatHealth:
FineOverwatch: Looking out all the windows upstairs.
Items: Scoped Hunting Rifle
Untrained: -1 to CombatHealth:
FineSentry #1: Stationed in the dining room on the first floor.
Items: Pistol
Untrained: -1 to CombatHealth:
FineSentry #2: Stationed in the cellar in the basement.
Items: Revolver
Untrained: -1 to CombatHealth:
FineStablehand: In the stables.
Items: Pitchfork
Untrained: -1 to CombatHealth:
FinePatrol: Walking around the perimeter of the Plantation house.
Items: AK47 with Flashlight, Saber
Untrained: -1 to CombatHealth:
FineScout: Coming towards the
H.O.E.S., but can't see them just yet...
Items: Hunting Rifle, Flashlight
Untrained: -1 to CombatHealth:
Fine-Head Guard-
The leader, also the only one with any actually military training.
Health: Fine
Rainbow Dash
Items: Dashie's Katana, Laurel Crown, L.C. Wintle's Lee Enfield, Whip, Surfboard, Sunglasses
Health: Ensnared
Twilight Sparkle
Items: The General's Oversized Machete Blade, Socially Acceptable Club Behavior (Part of the Official "How to: For Equestrians" Book Series)
Health: Fine
Pastamancer
Items: ASCII T-Shirt (Torn), Skiing Pants, Glass Balls, Merasmus's Bombinomicon & Staff of Wood-ness, Cortez's Chrome, Cyan Garamonde's Samurai/Light U.S. Armor, Sherlock Holmes's Hat, The Boss's Cell Phone, Mobile Turret Parts, "Bikini Inspector" T-Shirt, Pieces of Gurren Lagann,.
Health: Health: Fine
Applejack
Items: Lasso, Theodore Roosevelt's Chromes, The Boss's Fragmentation Grenades, Hacha Axe, Turkish Saber, Heavy Machine Gat
Health: Fine
Old Spice Stallion
Items: Towel, Old Spice (TM), Coconut, Bowie Knife
Health: Fine
Dagoth Ur
Items: Golden Mask, Loincloth, Ash Statue
Abilities: Summon Ash Cloud (3 Turns: 2 Turn Cooldown), Call Upon Minions (Once Per Battle: Used), A Present From House Dagoth, Telepathic Power Nap, Decorative "Mickey Mouse" Ears, The Holy Bible
Health: Fine
Al Capone
Items: Tommy Gat, Revolver, Pineapple Bombs, Molotov Cocktails, Brass Knuckles, Baseball Bat, AK47, Cursed Machete, Martini Glass with Tiny Umbrella
Health: Health: Head Cut & Punched by Small Hands
Big Macintosh
Items: Pony Gauntlets, Pony Armor, Armored Greaves, Bandana, Overpriced Souvenir, Straw Hat
Abilities: Apple Family Reunion (3 Turns: Ready!)
Health: Face Slashed
The Swedish Chef
Items: Knife, Viking Chestplate, Viking Helmet, Armored Boots, Spoon, Several Bowie Knives, TNT Sticks, Beer, Roland Deschain's Father's Guns, Dallas Cowboys Hat, Firebombs, Mayo (5 Jars),
Abilities: Summon Mr. Fox or Tom (Mr. Fox Available), Taking Too Much Time! (1 Turn: Ready!) Swedish FUS RO DAH (2 Turns: Ready!), Mayo Rush (Passive), Mayo Addiction (2 Turns: 2 Turns to Eat)
Health: Smashed Into Pavement
Simo Hayha
Items: Suomi 9mm SMG, Mosin Nagant Rifle, White Sniper Camouflage
Health: Fine
Elite Kingston S.W.A.T. Team
Items: MPSK Sub-machine Gats, Tactical Shotguns, Riot Shields, Tasers, Flashbangs, Smoke Grenades, 5 Pounds of Kush Herb
Health: Health: Sustained Casualties
Automated Turret
Items: Gatling Gat, Legs
Health: Fine
Dagoth Uthol: the Ash Vampire Who Isn't Allowed On Red Mountain After That One Party And Is Instead Confined To Kogoruhn, The Place We Used To Hang Out Way Back When But Don't Anymore
Items:
Health: Fine
Mr. Tom
Items:
Health: Fine