Chapter 61: High Noon
The Pastamancer pulls out Cortez's Chromes and fires at Arthur McCoy, (4 vs. 1) capping him in the Torso! Then he conjures up pasta bandages. (1) He punches himself in the face.
"It appears that my minions... erm, followers are either dead or brutally incompetent. No worries! I have more!" Dagoth Ur Calls Upon Allies and out of a pile of smoke,
Dagoth Uthol: the Ash Vampire Who Isn't Allowed On Red Mountain After That One Party And Is Instead Confined To Kogoruhn, The Place We Used To Hang Out Way Back When But Don't Anymore appears!
Asinine Sleeper charges Clell Miller. (6 vs. 1) Asinine Sleeper shoulder-checks Clell and steals his rifle, before eating it.
"Not all of us can shoot all that accurately with several bullets in their chest, Jesse." Roland Deschain retaliates by firing at Cole Younger and
Jesse James. (6 vs. 5) (6 vs. 1) As the revolver bullets fly through the air Cole Younger gets shot in the right hoof, which explodes! As Cole falls down, screaming, Jesse looks at Roland who unloads on the rogue cowpony like the side of a barn. Bullets tear through Jesse's body, creating holes all over his torso, spouting blood.
Old Spice Stallion sprays
Al Capone with the mighty healing Old Spice(TM)! (3) It doesn't heal his wounds, but it lets him ignore the pain temporarily.
Twilight Sparkle levitates a car above
Jesse James. (1 vs. 1) Jesse barely stumbles out of the way as the car is flung past him.
"IT'S TIME TO FINISH THIS! GIGA. DRILL. BREAKER!!!" Simon swings Gurren Lagann's giant drills across the enemy line!(6+1 vs. 4) Cole Younger looks up and is promptly swept away from the battlefield, by several miles.
(4+1 vs. 4+1) Bob Younger deflects the drill!
"You gotta' do better than that!"(6+1 vs. 1) Clell Miller is separated into 13853281 pieces.
(1+1 vs. 5) Arthur McCoy looks at the carnage wistfully.
(5+1 vs. 2) Frank James reigns his horse in, but it's too late.
"NOOOOOO-"(2 vs. 6)
"POOP! FRANK!" Jesse James weaves through the oncoming drills, dodging them effortlessly as he runs towards his brother. Frank lay on the ground, gazing at the sky, his horse's corpse laying besides him. Jesse kneels next to him.
"C'mon stallion, gettup'! We can get outta' this one, and then that's it! We're done! Please!" Frank coughed up a spot of blood.
"Bruddah'...you think....they got a heaven....for ponies like us?" "What the hay you talkin' bout' Frank we-Frank! FRANK!!!"...
Jesse stands up with a steely resolve, as if he had not been shot one time. He paces towards the
H.O.E.S., a firm grip on both of his revolvers as he makes his way towards them. Gurren Lagann turns towards him.
"I've got him in my sights stallions! I'll finish him! DRILL CHARGE!" The Mecha speeds at Jesse, ready to deliver a giant spike to his skeletal system. The bandit takes a duelist stance and aims a revolver at Simon, right for the cockpit. As it gets closer Jesse yells out: (6+1 vs. 3)
"HAY COLT, YOU KNOW WHAT'S IT'S LIKE TO SEE SOMEPONY KILL YOUR BROTHER?!" Lagann wavers for a split second. The drill misses Jesse by a few hooves. He returns with a single bullet, which flies dead into the center of the robot. Simon's world goes into slow-motion. He never actually sees a bullet. But he does see one thing.
"...K-Kamina?"
Simon has died!Applejack tosses one of
The Boss's Fragmentation Grenades into Arthur McCoy's water trough, where he sits. (6 vs. 1)
"Well poop." He proceeds to done get blown up.
Big Macintosh bucks apples at Bob Younger. (3 vs. 4) Miss. (5+1 vs. 1)
"Alright Apple Family! IT'S TIME FOR-" Bob punches Big Mac in the face, knocking him unconscious and negating his ability.
Rainbow Dash surfboard whips Cole Younger in the corpse.
Al Capone hides behind a barrel and shoots at Bob Younger. (2 vs. 4) Bob Younger evades the fire, (2+1 vs. 6) and hides behind a house.
Bob Younger runs after the
Asinine Sleeper. (3+1 vs. 6) Bob punches it, but it seems not to be able to comprehend pain. (1 vs. 6) The
Asinine Sleeper explodes.
Jesse James emerges from the smoking husk that was once
Gurren Lagann. He trudges forward, wordlessly, towards
Roland Deschain. The cowboy bandit walks with a limp, as a result of his injuries talking damage on him once more. The
Elite King S.W.A.T. Team pulls out their firearms.
"If you come closer, we will shoot!" Jesse doesn't seem to here their warning. (1 vs. 5) The S.W.A.T. Team's fire is deflected, almost by an invisible shield around Jesse. (3 vs. 4) Jesse fires back, not hurting any of them, but still pushing them back. (3 vs. 2)
The Automated Turret clips shots at Jesse, who doesn't make a note of it.
Jesse makes it to Roland, the two staring each other down. Everyone backs off. This is how the West will always settle it's manners. Both reach for their revolvers.
Draw.
(2 vs. 3)
(1 vs. 4)
Both miss their first shot.
(4 vs. 2)
(3 vs. 1)
Jesse hits Roland in the leg, whilst Roland hits Jesse in his opposite hand.
(6 vs. 5)
(5 vs. 1)
Jesse shoots Roland in the stomach. Then the chest. Then the shoulder. Then the other leg.
Roland falls to his hands and knees, coughing up copious amounts of blood. Jesse starts to walk away.
Roland manages to get one more shot off though. Jesse takes a few more steps, and then falls straight on his face.
Roland takes one more breath and collapses.
Roland Deschain has died!
Jesse James has died!.......
Loot:2 Revolvers
Horses
Cowboy Hats
Pistols
Bowie Knives
Knuckle Duster
Fire Bombs
TNT
Repeater
The Holy Bible (+1 Defense vs. Magic)
Beer
"Dallas Cowboys" Hat
Jesse James's Six-ShootersDysfunctional Parts of Gurren Lagann Roland Deschain's Guns
Bob Younger: The youngest Younger who took quite a beating but kept fightin'.
Fisticuffs!: +1 to hoof-to-hoof combat.
Inventory: Knuckleduster, Bowie Knife, Cowpony Hat
Health: Left Thigh Shot, Bleeding
[spoiler=H.O.E.S.]
Rainbow Dash
Items: Dashie's Katana, Laurel Crown, L.C. Wintle's Lee Enfield (Broken), Whip, Surfboard, Sunglasses
Health: Fine
Twilight Sparkle
Items: The General's Oversized Machete Blade, Socially Acceptable Club Behavior (Part of the Official "How to: For Equestrians" Book Series)
Health: Fine
Pastamancer
Items: ASCII T-Shirt, Skiing Pants, Glass Balls, Pasta Armor, Merasmus's Bombinomicon & Staff of Wood-ness, Cortez's Chrome, Cyan Garamonde's Samurai/Light U.S. Armor, Sherlock Holmes's Hat, The Boss's Cell Phone, Mobile Turret Parts, "Bikini Inspector" T-Shirt
Health: Self Inflicted Face Punch
Applejack
Items: Lasso, Theodore Roosevelt's Chromes, The Boss's Fragmentation Grenades, Hacha Axe, Turkish Saber, Heavy Machine Gat
Health: Fine
Old Spice Stallion
Items: Towel, Old Spice (TM), Coconut, Bowie Knife
Health: Fine
Dagoth Ur
Items: Golden Mask, Loincloth, Ash Statue
Abilities: Summon Ash Cloud (3 Turns: 2 Turn Cooldown), Call Upon Minions (Once Per Battle: Used), A Present From House Dagoth, Telepathic Power Nap, Decorative "Mickey Mouse" Ears
Health: Fine
Al Capone
Items: Tommy Gat, Revolver, Pineapple Bombs, Molotov Cocktails, Brass Knuckles, Baseball Bat, AK47, Cursed Machete, Martini Glass with Tiny Umbrella
Health: Done Got Blown Up
Big Macintosh
Items: Pony Gauntlets, Pony Armor, Armored Greaves, Bandana, Overpriced Souvenir, Straw Hat
Abilities: Apple Family Reunion (3 Turns: 3 Turn Cooldown)
Health: Side Bruised, Unconscious
Elite Kingston S.W.A.T. Team
Items: MPSK Sub-machine Gats, Tactical Shotguns, Riot Shields, Tasers, Flashbangs, Smoke Grenades, 5 Pounds of Kush Herb
Health: 9/12
Automated Turret
Items: Gatling Gat, Legs
Health: Fine
Dagoth Uthol: the Ash Vampire Who Isn't Allowed On Red Mountain After That One Party And Is Instead Confined To Kogoruhn, The Place We Used To Hang Out Way Back When But Don't Anymore
Items:
Health: Fine
Meatball Monster
Items: Meatball
Health: Fine
Author
Topic: Roll to Dodge Princess Celestia, Act II [Actually Done This Time: R.I.P] (Read 337277 times)