Chapter 19: Holy Updates, TCM!
Armok. Chaos Incarnate. It towered into the skyline. The sheer aura it emanated sent mortal creatures fleeing from a 100 mile radius. Even the
H.O.E.S., used to fighting all sorts of threats, were at a loss of words or action for the being in front of them....except for one pink pony who trotted right up to the crimson bethemoth.
"Hey, if it isn't my old buddy Armok. You're like, my idol, dude. There's tons of blood and magma on our side, wanna join? I hear your good friend Cthulhu might join soon too, c'mon, come with us! Sorry about your hammerman, but he was an elf in disguise. I mean, man, you're pretty much my god. Blood for the Blood god, magma for the elves! If you join, I will guarantee several hundred gallons of blood spilled in your name. So, whaddaya think?"Armok remained completely still. A silence followed, whether it was seconds or minutes no one would bother to really keep track. Then, it made one low utterance;
"NO."It didn't move to strike or put a curse on
Pinkie Pie, it simply stood still. Pinkie was offended. In her mind:
"Oh, I'm not good enough huh? Armok thinks he's soooooo good because he's the Chaos God? I was around before him, he wasn't shit before me! He thinks he's something, I'm so angry I could just...AAAAH!"Pinkamena Diane Pie form achieved.Sun Tzu looks up at the beast before him. He remembers an ancient saying, which he wrote:
"When an enemy is too big to conquer, you call up yo' homies!" Pulling out his cell, Tzu taps a random name in his contacts.
"Hi, it's Jeremy Lin." "Hey man, it's yo' homeboy Sun Tzu! Hey, we're fighting this Armok dude over here. Can you come help out?" "Uh...one, I play basketball. Two, the Bible teaches that,-" "You beat the shit out of giant motherfuckers! Sampson and Golaith, right dere'. Alright, see you man." He hangs up.
Cyan Garamonde wonders where the grenade in his inventory is. Last time he checked it was right- oh, found it. Anyways, he starts charging his
Sword Tech technique.
Deoxys flings dark matter onto the bony arm of
Armok. (1 vs. 6) The Chaos God simply shrugs it off, and creates a glowing ball of dark energy in his own hands. (6 vs. 5) He flings it at the Galatic Pokemon, who manages to dodge the initial impact. But the ball explodes, and the blast flings the Pokemon away, searing it's flesh quite badly.
Twilight Sparkle uses her eyes (?) on Chaos Incarnate....okay then. After that, she unleashes a barrage of elemental firepower! (2 Vs. 2) Wind, Fire, Frost, Lightning, Light, Darkness, all strike at
Armok...and fail to do anything to him.
Gordon Freeman sees the evil being in front of him. He carefully aims his loaded Crossbow and shoots the greatest opponent on the field: A Dwarf in a wheelchair. (5 Vs. 3-1) A bolt plants itself firmly in Urist McThrowin's chest. The force sends him flying out of his wheelchair and tumbling onto the ground, dead.
"Here's your cookie!" Fluttershy hands (hoofs?) the baked good over to the
WWI Medic. "Merci petit poney." He eats it. It's so good, the two of them engage in the elegant dance of "Ze Derp." (4) It works well enough. Pinkamena, Gordon and Cyan all get
+1 next turn due to the dance.
Delta appears out of nowhere. The hulking beast of metal aims it's Harpoon at the Chaos Incarnate, shooting at any signs of a threat.
Delta has joined H.O.E.S.!Mongolian Warriors start hacking and slashing at
Armok's feet! (6 Vs. 4) They actually manage to pierce it, as his feet start gushing out small streams of black energy!
JFK in a Tank fires a rocket at
Armok! (5 Vs. 2) It strikes him in the torso, making a small hole appear and bleed out blackness!
"PUNY MORTALS NEVER CEASE TO AMUSE ME." It picks up the freight train behind it, and launches it at the Heroes!
(3 Vs. 5)
Meraciously, it misses it's mark and flies straight into the Fortress Front Entrance, demolishing it.
The Chaos God sighs and begins casting up Magical Orbs.
"Hostile action!" Delta fires a Harpoon! (2 VS. 2) It flies into one of the Orbs and disintegrates.
ARMOKHealth:
Cut Feet, Shelled, BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!Mood:
I LIVE!
Twilight Sparkle
Items: Dashie's Katana
Health: Shattered Ribs
Pinkamena Diane Pie
Items: Chainsaw, Butcher Knife, Scalpel, 2 Jumper Cables, Shotgun
Health: Witness of the Derp Dance (+1 to all rolls. 1 turn)
Sun Tzu
Items: Kaiyun, Ji, Battle Banner, Art of War, Lamellar Armor, Heavy U.S. Armor, French Toast,
Health: Fractured Foot
Fluttershy
Items: Sniper Camoflouge, 60's Sub-machine Guns
Health: Fine
Cyan Garamonde
Items: Katana, Tanto Knife, Samurai Armor, Sniper Camoflouge, Light U.S. Armor, Bronze Bars, Fragmentation Grenade
Health: Slammed, Witness of the Derp Dance (+1 to all rolls. 1 turn)
Deoxys
Moveset: Psychic, Wrap, Night Shade, Flash Cannon, Hyper Beam (3 Turns)
Health: Seared
Gordon Freeman 2.0
Items: Crowbar, Gravity Gun, Fire Crossbow, 1911 Pistol, Handcannon Revolver, Uzi, Laser Rifle, Javelin RPG, Flashbangs, Fragmentation Grenades
Health: Witness of the Derp Dance (+1 to all rolls. 1 turn)
Delta
Items: Drill Arm, Rivet Gun, Machine Gun, Harpoon Launcher, Electro Bolt Plasmid, Incinerate Plasmid, Winter Blast Plasmid, Telekinesis Plasmid
Health: Fine
Mongolian Warriors
Equipment: Turkish Sabers, Mongolian Armor
Health: 50/50 Warriors
JFK in a Tank
Equipment: Sherman Tank
Health: America
WWI Medic
Items: WWI Military Uniform, Military Helmet, Trench Rifle, Amputation Kit
Ability: Medic
Health: Saw the light.
Author
Topic: Roll to Dodge Princess Celestia, Act II [Actually Done This Time: R.I.P] (Read 331252 times)