Chapter 17: ThreeToe. Eh.
Sun Tzu curses fake-Chinese as he is crushed under a mass of Earth. Wiggling, he attempts to get out from underneath it. (6) With a roar of power unseen before, the general not only pushes the rock off of him, but manages to stand up and hoist it over his head. The participants of the battle gaze as Tzu hoists the Boulder above him, ready to utilize it.
Twilight Sparkle focuses her magical energy on hoisting the stone above
Fluttershy. (5) She manages to do so and the yellow Pegasus runs out of the spot quickly. Levitating the Boulder, Twilight takes the mass and chucks it at
ThreeToe! (2 vs. 5) The nimble Bay12 Moderator nimbly ducks under the rock, (1 vs. 1) by leaping into
ToadyOne's arms.
"
AMERICAAAAA!!!!!Theodore Roosevelt[/color] charges the Liberal Crime Squad, unholstering all his guns and flinging them into the air to do his Ultimate Teddy Combo Gun Attack (TM). (6 vs. 3) Teddy's Pistol comes down and he empties the whole clip into one Liberal, gunning him down. As he holsters it, he grabs his falling Shotgun and fires both barrels directly into another's chest, sending her flying off. The shotgun goes away as Teddy grips the M16 and scores a clean headshot on another liberal. Finally, aftering putting away the M16, Teddy grabs his Rifle and loads out four limb shots and one torso shot on the last liberal, who falls flat on his back. The only survivor is a young scared-out-of-her wits liberal clutching her Glock.
Deoxys, previously unseen in the battle, glides behind the Bay12 Army and implants his body into the ground. The orb at the center of his body begins glowing brighter, brighter, until it finally glows like the sun. Just as the Bay Watchers notice a bright light is behind them, (5)
a huge laser sweeps around them.(2) The Dwarven Fortress Population manages to scatter chaotically to avoid the beam, though some do it by jumping in the lava moat.
(1) The Hyper Beam hits Urist McSworden in the Armor, which reflects it into the fortress wall, destroying some of it.
(4) The Hyper Beam disintegrates both of Urist McThrowin's legs.
(6) The Hyper Beam sweeps through the Peasant Army. They're not around anymore.
(3) The Boogymen manage to outrun the laser, though the intense light causes some of them to turn into smoke.
(2) WWI Medic takes refugee in by building a trench, climbing in, and crying until the laser finally stops.
McSworden may have avoided the Hyper Beam, but it quite shocked when
Pinkie Pie thrusts her
penis compensator Shotgun down his throat. (1 vs. 4) Pinkie pulls the trigger but the gun-misfires.
"Awww, that's no fun!" (2 vs. 3) McSworden takes the Shotgun out of his throat and gags, clutching his throat.
Cyan Garamonde, finished with his SwordTech, charges the Bronze Colossus. (6 vs. 6-1) A perfect horizontal slash decapitates the Colossus, it's head flying into the lava moat. Miraculously, it's still alive since it's soul rests in it's chest core, but without a head it has a pretty severe disadvantage.
Fluttershy performs the epic manuever of eating some leaves. (4) It heals her throat and she decides to take a small rest and watch the fighting.
Gordon Freeman 2.0, covered in epic knife scars, rushes towards the throne. As slo-mo decides to take over, Gordon pulls out two Flashbangs, dropping their pins to the floor and tossing them at the double bosses. (4 vs. 6) However,
ToadyOne catches both of them and throws them back. (4 vs. 3) Freeman shields his eye's at the last second, but even then the shine manages to get him slightly. (-1 to defense next turn.)
The Dwarven Fortress Population decides to go after
Angel, because they can. (4 vs. 6) But the little bunny is ready for them. (5 vs. 6) He through their clothing, pulls their hair and pinches their ears. Nothing deadly, but it's sure annoying.
Urist McSworden stops gagging, and contorts his face with rage as he looks at
Pinkie Pie, who smiles. Picking up his Warhammer he attacks with an overhand swing! (1 vs. 3) However, as the hammer goes up, the dwarf hears the Pony click her Shotgun. (1 vs. 1) The blast knocks the Warhammer away, but fails to do anything else.
Urist McThrowin' dismayed at being legless, picks up a Rock and tosses it at
Twilight Sparkle. (6 vs. 4) The Rock hits her in the Torso and Shatters some Ribs!
The confused Bronze Colossus, headless, swings it's arms around wildly trying to hit
Cyan Garamonde. (6-1 vs. 2) It actually manages to find him, pick him up several feet in the air, and slam him down harshly into the stone floor, denting it. Oooh, that wasn't pretty.
The Boogymen, having lost a number of their group, decide to pester
Sun Tzu! (2 vs. 1) They dance around the Chinese general hoisting a rock. Eventually he just yells,
"STFU!" (1 vs. 3) Boogymen continue to dance.
The Liberal Crime Squad is down to a scared teacher, clutching the Glock in her shaking hands.
Theodore Roosevelt grins.
"Hit me with your best!" (6 vs. 1) A flurry of bullets hit Teddy, one in each lung, the heart, the neck, and through the eye. The bloody president remarks,
"You know, that actually was pretty good if I say so."WWI Medic pops out of his trench. Seeing the lack of lasers, he rushes over to the Legless Urist McThrowin' to see what he can do. (6-1) Urist McThrowin' gets a Wheelchair!
The Mongolian Warriors were having a tea break, when they decided to get back into action. Loading up their gear, they climb the fortress walls, jump into the courtyard, and begin attacking the Bronze Colossus. (4 vs. 5-1) They mainly run around and try not to get stepped on.
"ThreeToe! The next part of my plan is-Wait, what's that?" Toady notices a green shape in the distance, as a voice booms,
"Ask not what your country can do for you, but how you can get shot by my sherman!" JFK in a Tank fires a shell at the throne, (4 vs. 2) and severly wounds
ThreeToe."Brother, no! I will avenge you!" "I'm....still....alive...." ToadyOne reaches behind him and pulls out his Legendary Bow. Sitting back down on his throne, he knocks an arrow and eyes the biggest threats on the battlefield. Well,
Deoxys was causing problems. The Master fired an arrow at the Galatic Pokemon. (3 vs. 5) The Galatic Pokemon catches the arrow with psychic ability, and sends it flying back, (4 vs. 1) right into
ThreeToe's head.
"Well shit. Guess it's time for the burial. ~Amazinggggg, Grace, Oh thee- actually, nope." Toady throw's his brother's corpse into the lava moat.
ToadyOne & ThreetoeHealth:
BrotherlessMood:
Wait, who's going to ban people now?
Dwarven Fortress Population: A large militia ready to defend their home, no doubt a worthy bunch of opponents. Except one's sitting down and making a pot. Another is going for a drink. That one just fell in the moat. Maybe not so worthy.
Items: Dwaren Equipment.
Health: Guard Mode: 99%, 98.5%....there goes another .3%...
Urist McSworden: Adventure Dwarf who was born with a natural skill for using Hammers. His parents were not good with naming children.
Items: Steel Helmet, Steel Armor, Steel Warhammer
Health: Pounded
Urist McThrowin': The kids laughed at him for playing with rocks all day. But who's laughing now?
Items: Rocks, Sand, Water, Blood, Body Parts, Wheel Chair
Health: Legless
Bronze Colossus: Oooohh, Megabeast!
Items:
Ability: Giant - +1 to Offense,-1 to Defense
Health: Decapitated!
Boogeymen: AW FU-
Items:
Ability: Incessant Douchbaggery - +2 to Defense,-1 Offense
Health: Getting Sunlighted
Liberal Crime Squad: A hippie, a yoga teacher, a gangster, a teacher, a college student and a judge walk into a bar. They proceed to beat up every conservative inside.
Items: M16's, Katanas, Body Armor
Ability: Improvised Martial Arts Masters
Health: 1/6. Conservative!
WWI Medic: Would feel safer in a hole.
Items: WWI Military Uniform, Military Helmet, Trench Rifle, Amputation Kit
Ability: Medic
Health: Traumatized (-1 to rolls)
Twilight Sparkle
Items: Dashie's Katana
Health: Shattered Ribs
Pinkie Pie
Items: Party Cannon (Broken), Shotgun
Health: Slammed
Teddy Roosevelt
Items: Rifle, Pistol, Knife, Light U.S. Armor, M16, Shotgun
Health: Chest Shot, Lungs Shot, Heart Shot, Neck Shot, Eye Shot
Sun Tzu
Items: Kaiyun, Ji, Battle Banner, Art of War, Lamellar Armor, Heavy U.S. Armor, French Toast, Boulder
Health: Fractured Foot
Fluttershy
Items: Sniper Camoflouge, 60's Sub-machine Guns
Health: Fine
Cyan Garamonde
Items: Katana, Tanto Knife, Samurai Armor, Sniper Camoflouge, Light U.S. Armor
Health: Harshly Slammed
Deoxys
Moveset: Psychic, Wrap, Night Shade, Flash Cannon, Hyper Beam (4 Turns)
Health: Fine
Gordon Freeman 2.0
Items: Crowbar, Gravity Gun, Fire Crossbow, 1911 Pistol, Handcannon Revolver, Uzi, Laser Rifle, Javelin RPG, Flashbangs, Fragmentation Grenades
Health: Cut Up, Flashed (-1 to defense)
Mongolian Warriors
Equipment: Turkish Sabers, Mongolian Armor
Health: 50/50 Warriors
JFK in a Tank
Equipment: Sherman Tank
Health: America
Author
Topic: Roll to Dodge Princess Celestia, Act II [Actually Done This Time: R.I.P] (Read 337851 times)