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[Geen]

Load up a disco ball, aim for Vlad, light up a sparkler, and let the disco-shrapnel do the rest.

[TCM]

Chapter 5: Meteors

Theodore Roosevelt whips out his American Knife and Pistol, commenting to the standing Mongolian Infantryman, "I'll show you how American's fight! In America!" (1 vs. 6) 'Apparently, Americans fight in American by tripping over a rock and falling flat on the ground' The Mongolian Infantryman #2 thinks to himself. 'Taking over America must be a lot easier than taking over Equestria.' (6 vs. 6) The Mongolian Infantryman #2 thrusts his Turkish Saber into Teddy Roosevelt's back, but the Prez' turns his Spine into pure steel and stops the sword!

Sun Tzu inspects his severed arm. Glaring back at Vlad the Impaler, he quotes famous words from his Art of War: "When one of your arms is severed...you beat the crap out of the motherfucker who did it!" (1 vs. 5) Sun Tzu proceeds to sucker punch Vlad repeatedly! In the armor.
The Romanian Vampire looks as the furious Chinese Generals pounds away at his Chest-plate to no effect. Vlad is not amused. (4 vs. 4) Vlad punches at Tzu, and Tzu punches at Vlad simultaneously, and they both punch each other in the hand! Both of the warriors reel away, silently cursing at their hurt hands.

RZA is not very amused either. Standing and brushing himself off, he stares at the Mongolian Wrestler. "A'ight you greasy bastard now you've done it. I'm gonna' knock your teeth out." The rapper rushes forward, channeling all his strength into a Wu-Tang Haymaker! (1 vs. 3) The muscular Mongolian Wrestler grabs his arm before it connects. It looks bad from here...when out of no where- "~Lemme' give it to ya', no trivia, Raw like Cocaine straight from Bolivia~." The Mongolian Wrestler turns around. (4 vs. 4) He sees U-God rushing at him!
U-God has joined the Party!

Twilight Sparkle uses her healing magic on Sun Tzu. (3) He doesn't get his arm back, but the wound cauterizes. "Close enough." Twilight turns her attention to Genghis Khan. Her horn glows. "I have the rocks that will fly from the Heavens! That are on fire!" With this, fiery meteors begin to descend from the sky. (2 vs. 2) They completely miss Genghis Khan, and anyone else for that matter. Well, now the battlefield looks really cool with flaming meteors raining everywhere.

Lawrence Taylor stands over the Mongolian Spearman. "No one attacks Lawrence Taylor with phallic-shaped weaponry, motherfucker!" Lawrence begins to stomp on the Spearman with his cleats. (2 vs. 2) All he does is jump around aimlessly and yell about Freudianism.

Rainbow Dash attacks the Mongolian Horse Archer with a Katana swipe. (3 vs. 2) She misses, but she blunts him in the side with the Katana handle, and he falls off. Turning to the Mongolian Horse, Rainbow remarks, "Hey, sorry about that. That was way awesome, want to join up with us?" (2) The Colt grins. "Actually I'm more interested about joining up with you. "Huh?" The Mongolian steed approaches her, "You see, we don't have any mares back at camp..." R.D. contorts her face in disgust and flies a few feet in the air. "Forget it! Me? Having sex? With a guy!? Ewwww." The Mongolian Horse huffs. "Suit yourself." He trots off.

Fluttershy meekly responds, "Um...I'm...Fluttershy." She gives the Horses two hay sandwiches. Angel jumps at the Mongolian Archer and begins eating his bow. (3 vs. 5) The Archer grabs him, (2 vs. 4) but Angel pops out of his hand and starts running through his clothes. The Pegasus mutters, ''Please don't mind but I have to go help my friends for a second. Enjoy your sandwiches." She walks up to the Mongolian Archer and sticks her leg out. (3 vs. 1) The Mongolian Archer blindly walks into her leg and stumbles onto the ground, dropping his Bow.

Pinkie Pie loads a Disco Ball into her Party Cannon. Aiming it at Vlad, she yells, "It's time to party hard!" (3 vs. 1) The disco-shrapnel flies out at Vlad the Impaler. The Vampire jumps as a shard of glass impales his Right Forearm. He grunts and pulls the glass shard out of it.


Mongolian Infantryman #2 was a bit surprised when Theodore Roosevelt altered his Spine to resist metal. So then the Mongolian went to stab Teddy in the back of the head. (1 vs. 6) Before he can, the President jumps to his feet, (5 vs. 1) and shoots the Mongolian Infantryman in the Nose with his Pistol! The bullet exits out the bottom of the Mongolian's skull. He falls, stunned, and collapses onto the ground.

The Mongolian Army reaches for his Bow. (6) He slips it around his hand, instantly knocking an arrow inside of it. He spots and finds Fluttershy as the chief offender of the attack! (2 vs. 5) He shoots, and the arrow goes wide. (1 vs. 1) Proceeded by awkward silence.

The Mongolian Spearman stands up and throws a spear at Lawrence Taylor. (4 vs. 6) The Spear is thrown, but Lawrence catches it using his Wide Receiver skills, and then hands it to Eli Manning. Manning throws it back at the Mongolian Spearman (5 vs. 4) and it embeds itself in the Spearman's Right Leg!

The Mongolian Calvarymen fight the Mongolian Horses! (2 vs. 2) It largely consists of all of them running around in circles and attacking the air.

The dismounted Horse Archer scrambles to his feet. Seeing Rainbow Dash in his sights. He knocks an arrow and shoots her after she finishes rejecting a male horse coming on to her. (6 vs. 4) The arrow strikes her in the Belly, and she starts bleeding!

The Mongolian Wrestler grabs RZA by the neck and slams him onto the ground. (4 vs. 3) The Abbot gets banged up more.

The Trebuchet see that Twilight Sparkle is attacking their leader with various meteors. "Aim the Trebuchet towards that purple unicorn! Load! Fire!" (1 vs. 6) The Trebuchet jams. Whoops. (5 vs. 2) And then the aforementioned unicorn batters them with meteors, killing most of them!


The Mongolian Warriors run down a hill, charging the Mongolian Archer! (1 vs. 6) The Warriors anticlimactically fall down when they get get to the end of the hill. This gives ample time to the Mongolian Archer to shoot. (6 vs. 5) By the time the Warriors can recover to their feet, half of them are dead or incapacitated with arrow wounds.

U-God does a WWE-based Charge-to-Jump double-thrust kick at the Mongolian Wrestler! (3 vs. 5) The Mongolian Wrestler grabs him by the legs. (5 vs. 4) He twists one of U's feet, Breaking his Right Ankle!

The Mongolian Horses watch as their ex-masters run around in circles. They decide this makes an ample opportunity to attack. (2 vs. 2) The horses also run around in circles.

Vlad the Impaler hisses as he removes Discoball glass from his Forearm. Taking his Saber, he walks up to Sun Tzu and slashes at his midsection! (6 vs. 6) Sun Tzu catches the blade between his teeth!

Genghis Sans continues to duel with Genghis Khan. (5 vs. 2) In a lucky move, Sans quickly stabs Khan in the lower torso!


Blood begins to ooze from Genghis Khan's waist. With an unearthly roar, he takes his Mongolian Mace and swings it full force at Genghis Sans! (4 vs. 1) The blow hits Sans in the helmet, knocking him unconscious!



Genghis Khan
Health: (Bleeding from a face and torso wound) ARGARWAH!
Mood: YAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

 

 

Spoiler: Players (click to show/hide)

Twilight Sparkle
Items:
Health: Fine

RZA
Items: Microphone
Health: Bruised

Rainbow Dash
Items: Katana
Health: Shot in the Belly, Heavy Bleeding

Pinkie Pie
Items: Party Cannon
Health: Fine

Lawrence Taylor
Items: Football Helmet, Cleats
Health: Fine

Teddy Roosevelt
Items: Rifle, Pistol, Knife
Health: Fine

Sun Tzu
Items: Kaiyun, Ji, Battle Banner, Art of War, Lamellar Armor
Health: No Left Arm Below Elbow

Fluttershy
Items:
Health: Fine

Spoiler: Enemy NPCs (click to show/hide)

Mongolian Archer
This guy can shoot!
Equipment: Longbow, Mongolian Armor
Health: Bruised

Mongolian Spearman
Well, he's got a big pointed thing.
Equipment: 3 Throwing Spears, Mongolian Armor
Health: Spear in Right Leg

Mongolian Cavalry
The Party isn't the only one with horses now!
Equipment: Lance, Mongolian Armor
Health: Heavy Stomach Bruise, Stunned

Mongolian Cavalry #2
Horses. Horses everywhere.
Equipment: Turkish Saber, Mongolian Armor
Health: Fractured Knee, Stunned

Mongolian Horse Archer
Getting all up in your face and shooting you.
Equipment:  Shortbow, Mongolian Armor, Mongol Horse
Health: Bruise

Mongolian Wrestler
He'll grapple with you, and he's barely clothed. Eww.
Equipment: Loincloth
Health: Fine

Trebuchet
A seige-weapon that flings rocks, flaming stuff, and cows at you.
Equipment: Rocks, Flaming Stuff, Cows
Health: 4/20 Seigers

Spoiler: Neutral NPCs (click to show/hide)

Vlad the Impaler
Dictator. Murderer. Vampire. Romanian.
Equipment: Vampire Saber, Halberd, Crossbow, Medieval Gun, Royal Romanian Armor
Bloodlust: Impaled Right Forearm

Spoiler: Friendly NPCs (click to show/hide)

Mongolian Warriors
Equipment: Turkish Sabers, Mongolian Armor
Health: 25/50 Warriors

2 Mongolian Horses
Equipment: Mongolian Horse Armor
Health: Both Fine

U-God
Equipment:
Health: Broken Right Ankle

[Caellath]

((@GM: I just remembered something, how does agility help Sun Tzu? And the arm is no longer bleeding.))

Sun Tzu's eyes are fiery pits of cool attitude and determination as he stares back into Vlad's eyes. "M sffftil edddsfshssc." the chinese general says with his teeth grinding against the cold, unforgiving metal of the romanian blade. Translation: "I still need healing." He then proceeds to quote his famous book as well as he can with a mouthful of saber stuck between his gritting teeth. "Gmffs dsdsdrr rcfwqjo samadsmf adafs dshhhfff fgfgsksff.", which translates as "When you are offered a blade, you catch it with your teeth and stab the bastard back."

Sun Tzu disarms Vlad and uses his own saber to attack him.

[Baradine]

Use the shaft of the spear embedded in the spearmanls leg as a step up to do a backflip kick thing.  You know what I'm talking about.

[mcclay]

Twilight heals Rainbow dash. Then uses the meteors to make a Meteor Golem and has it attack Genghis Khan.

[Flintus10]

"Aw shit son your ankle! Stay in the fight man we gotta take this guy down!" RZA lifts U-God to his feet and then stares daggers at the Mongolian wrestler. "Your fuckin' dead man."

RZA gets U-God to fling him at the Wrestler and prepares to hit him with the Ultimate WU TANG Kick

[Powder Miner]

Teddy grabs his rifle and shoots some enemies in the face.

[Geen]

Use some sharpened candy-cane hookshot rounds and slice up these assholes. If any are still standing, fire again. With flaming cupcakes.

[Flying Dice]

Rainbow Dash flies around the dismounted Horse Archer, engulfing him in a tornado, then bucks it in the direction of Genghis Khan.

[RTD]

I really like this game.

Hope someone dies so I can get up the waitlist. 

OK, TCM, lets roll!

[ansontan2000]

PTW. So god damn much.

[TCM]

I really like this game.

Hope someone dies so I can get up the waitlist. 

OK, TCM, lets roll!

Just waiting on Fluttershy. Also holy shit, you got grammar. *Brohoof*

PTW. So god damn much.

Thank you. *Brohoof*

[RTD]

TCM, you said that after Celestia was defeated, you said that you would put up statues of all who fought. Did you say that?

If so, I feel excited to have a BLU Soldier statue to be put up somewhere in Equestria. 

[Biscuitlord]

Angel is now angry and does his best to fight the Mongolian Archer, by again noming the string of the bow.
Fluttershy sees her friend Rainbow Dash getting hit by an arrow. She flies as fast as she can to help her.
''Oh my, Dashie. Are you hurt?  You are bleeding. Let me help you with that.''
Fluttershy takes out some magical-herbs she brought with her from the Everfree Forest and tries to cure Rainbow Dashs wound with them.
After comforting her that way, she turns around and looks at the dismounted Horse-Archer who shot her friend with the saddest face imaginable. (Please don't try to imagine Fluttershy with such a sad face it just makes you cry or die of sadness and she wouldn't want that. Just in case you do want to have a better image of her doing that face just open the spoiler)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

''How could you hurt my little Dashie? How can you be so mean?''

[RTD]

Lets roll!