Chapter 32: Scarface
Sherlock Holmes slows down the very pace of time, at least for himself. Looking at all the possible solutions that are available, he puts together the parts of a machination to take out the Vanguard in front of him. Let's hope it works. (3+1 vs. 6) Despite calculating everything from the trajectory of his attacks to the angle of the sun, Sherlock forgot about one crucial detail: Wind direction. As he chucks the ash from his Pipe at the Vanguard, a stiff breeze blows it back into his face. He starts wheezing and batting at his face, temporarily stunned by his own device. In the meantime, the Vanguard looks at his Greataxe, realizing that it's been tampered with. Tossing it to the ground, he switches out for his Halberd. Checking it out, the Vanguard finds no faults with it, and stabs at Holmes. (6 vs. 6) The detective trips over himself, causing him to barely dodge the spearhead aimed at his face.
Rainbow Dash puts on the Laurel Crown, before deciding to finish off the stunned Man-at-Arms. She zooms at him, Katana clutched in her mouth, (2 vs. 4+1) but he manages to roll on the ground and avoid the fatal slash, and chucks an Axe at Dashie as she flies away! (5 vs. 5) The Pegasus bats the Axe away with her Katana.
"Nice try, loser."Cyan Garamonde curses the curse of industrialism as he runs up the stairs of the audience seating. He sees the Crossbowman perching his weapon on the railing, scouting out his teammates. The Samurai roars with rage and charges at the bowman, his Katana pointed outwards. (3 vs. 4) The Crossbowman jumps back as Cyan jams his sword into the railing, shattering it. The Crossbowman puts his bow down and draws his Short Sword, yelling and hacking at Garamonde. (2 vs. 4) Cyan puts his Katana up and blocks the blows, as the two warriors become engaged in a duel.
Pinkamena Diane Pie, in her ever growing list of
fucking terrible great ideas, pulls the Knife out of her Chest. She starts spraying blood like a Elfen Lied episode, but she doesn't care as she loads the Knife into her
R.P.C. machine. (6) She puts it in, turning the Knife into a Knife of Fire! Yay.
The Boss taunts his enemies as he takes his biological-weapon of a Fart in a Jar, and chucks it at the Crossbowman. (1 vs. 4) The Crossbowman ducks and the Jar hits
Cyan Garamonde in the face, causing him to fall to his knees and retch. Nice. The Crossbowman takes his weapon, gets on a knee, and launches the bolt at the Saint leader. (6+1 vs. 2) The bolt strikes him right in the skull!
"You know, that's pretty fucking bad." He falls over, unconscious.
(Fatal Wound: 1 Turn left if not fixed, and bleeding halted.)Gordon Freeman 2.0 raises his Crowbar with the intent of "dueling" Tybalt's face in. (4+1 vs. 5) He swings the Crowbar, but Tybalt ducks under it and tackles Gordon, grappling him to the ground.
Jackie Estacado switches his Pistols out for his Micro Uzi, pointing it up the higher levels and spraying the Archer. (3 vs. 2) The Archer remains nimble and dodges most of the bullets, but a lucky hit manages to strike him in the Left Ankle! He falls over. Simultaneously, the Arms of Darkness rush at the Rouge, who was just getting jumped by a hoard of mongols. (3 vs. 2) The Rouge jumps up and evades the Arms as they smash into the walls of the theater. One of the Arms smashes into the side of his head, sending him back to the ground.
King Arthur offers
William Shakespeare a duel. He throws the Bard a Katana, except he can't because Dashie has it, and I forgot to change Arthur's status. Oops. Regardless, Shakespeare pulls out Twin Rapiers!
"I/accept." Arthur throws his Shield to the ground. He jumps up on the stage. Both men bow and draw their blades. The King is the first one to attack. (5 vs. 1) His first attack actually manages to cut the Bard across his entire chest! He falls to the ground.
"Ow/ow/ow/fuck you." Arthur bows and turns around, securing his duel victory.
Lieutenant Colonel Alfred Daniel Wintle decides to fire off his Lee Enfield at the new exposed Crossbowman. (2 vs. 5) He gets caught up in such a patriotic fury, the Lieutenant just fires bullets randomly, giving the Crossbowman time to load his powerful weapon again.
The Archer gets back up after being shot, looking at
Jackie Estacado.
"I'll kill this demon!" He loads another arrow into his Longbow, and fires it off at the source of the Darkness. (1 vs. 2) The Arms of Darkness swat the Arrow out of the air. Jackie grunts and returns fire with a new clip in his Micro Uzi. (5 vs. 5) The Archer holds his head and runs down the stairs as the wooden interior around him is riddled with bullets.
The Man-at-Arms staggers to his feet, and looks over at
The Boss. He almost goes to stab him, but the man is lying there with an arrow in his head. The soldier focuses his efforts on another target. He spots
Lieutenant Colonel Alfred Daniel Wintle shooting at his fellow Crossbowman. Supporting his ally, the Man-at-Arms charges the Colonel and swings his Mace, (2-1 vs. 4) but Wintle jumps out of the way and counter-fires, (4 vs. 1-1) shooting him in the Stomach!
The Vanguard swings his Halberd Axe at
Sherlock Holmes! (2 vs. 5) Sherlock grips the Vanguard's arm, stopping him from swinging down, (5 vs. 2) and smashes the end of the Halberd into his Torso! The Vanguard wheezes and drops his weapon, which Holmes picks up.
The Knight sees
King Arthur tear up his employer. Furious, before the King jumps off of the stage, the Knight throws his broken sword away and pulls out his Morning Star and Kite Shield. He jumps on the stage and swings his spiked club at Arthur, (6 vs. 2) and smashes it into his Lower Torso! The King falls to his knees as he is punctured by multiple spikes, and the Knight pulls out his weapon, leaving the King spurting blood like a shower head.
As
Cyan Garamonde starts to recover from the Fart in a Jar, the Crossbowman charges him with his Short Sword. (1 vs. 4) Cyan deflects the attack, (5 vs. 6) and nearly decapitates the Crossbowman! He misses, the Katana cutting off some of the bowman's neck hairs.
The Rouge stands up and tries to maneuver through the Darkness Arms of
Jackie Estacado. (5-1 vs. 2) He manages to sprint in between the arms and charge at Jackie. Distracted, Jackie is too late when the Rouge slashes him in the Right Forearm! He then shoves Jackie to the ground and grabs his Shotgun before he can react, and then flees the scene.
Tybalt grapples with
Gordon Freeman 2.0. (4+1 vs. 6) The Prince of Cats raises his hand to smash Gordon's head, but Gordon pulls his Handcannon Revolver out and puts it to Tybalt's chest! (5 vs. 2-1) Freeman fires and the force is powerful enough to send Tybalt flying back a few feet. He lands sprawled out on the ground, dead with a gaping hole in his chest.
William Shakespeare gritted through his teeth to see his victorious opponent leave their duel. However, he sees a fortunate sight as
King Arthur is struck by his Knight. Seizing the opportunity, Shakespeare fires both of his Pistols at the King of Anglos. (6 vs. 5) The shots hit the King in each of his Shoulder Blades, and come out of his Chest. He flies forward, flying off the center stage and onto the ground like the end of
Scarface.
King Arthur has died!Oops, almost forgot about the
Elite Mongolian Warriors. "Avenge the white king! RAAAAAAHHHHHH!" The Mongols leap upon the stage and attack The Knight. (1 vs. 3) His swinging Morning Star keeps them at bay, (5 vs. 4) and he manages to bash in the skulls of several of them.
William ShakespeareHealth:
Hit by Explosion, Shot in Left Leg, Large Chest Cut, Heavy BleedingMood:
Hey/I did/something.
Archer: The finest in the islands, could shoot an apple off of another apple.
Items: Longbow, Shortsword (Tampered)
Health: Foot Minor Shot, Ankle Shot
Man-at-Arms: A trained soldier equipped to handle military operations.
Items: Light Plate Armor, Mace, Throwing Axes
Agile: 50% chance of getting +1 to defense.
Health: Stomach Shot
Vanguard: A heavily armored killer with a long-reaching weapons.
Items: Chain Mail, Greataxe (Tampered), Halberd
Health: Torso Heavily Bruised
Knight: A noble and fearsome warrior out to fight for his king...er, princess.
Items: Heavy Plate Armor, Morning Star, Kite Shield
Glacier: Heavy resistance to damage, -1 movement.
Health: Fine
Crossbowman: Like the archer guy, but with more Crossbow.
Items: Crossbow, Short Sword
Crossbow: Takes 1 turn to load, gets +1 on attack.
Health: Fine
Rouge: A skilled criminal hired by Shakespeare.
Items: Curved Dagger (Tampered), Throwing Knives, Shotgun
Kleptomaniac: A successful attacks steals a random item from the target.
Health: Curbstomped, Head Bruised
Pinkamena Diane Pie
Items: Rocket Propelled Chainsaw, Butcher Knife, Scalpel, WWI Trench Helmet, Amputation Kit
Health: Chest Spurting Blood
Cyan Garamonde
Items: 2 Katanas, Tanto Knife, Samurai Armor, Sniper Camouflage, Light U.S. Armor, Bronze Bars, Fragmentation Grenade, Teddy's Pistol
Health: Fine
Gordon Freeman 2.0
Items: Crowbar, Gravity Gun, Fire Crossbow, 1911 Pistol, Handcannon Revolver, Uzi, Laser Rifle, Javelin RPG, Flashbangs, Fragmentation Grenades, ToadyOne's Legendary Longbow
Health: Fine
Jackie Estacado
Items: Dual 1911s, Micro Uzi, AK47
Health: Right Forearm Slashed, Light Bleeding
Lieutenant Colonel Alfred Daniel Wintle
Items: Webley Mk.IV, Lee Enfield No.IV Mk.I
Health: Fine
Sherlock Holmes
Items: Disguises, Pipe, Halberd
Abilities: Extreme Detachment (Cooldown: 2 Turns)
Health: Cut Right Thigh, Bleeding
The Boss
Items: Dual .45 Shepards, Dual Tek Z-10, The Penetrator, Grave Digger, K-8 Krukov, Annihilator, McManus 2015, Fragmentation Grenades, Molotov Cocktails, Farts in a Jar, Electric Grenades, Phone
Health: Bolt to the Skull, Unconscious, Extreme Bleeding, Fatal Wound
Rainbow Dash
Items: Dashie's Katana, Laurel Crown
Health: Fine
Elite Mongolian Warriors
Equipment: Turkish Sabers, Composite Bows, Halberds, Anti-Calavry Lances, Augmented Mongolian Armor
Health: 20/30 Warriors