Chapter 23: Evenly Matched
Sun Tzu uses profane language in accordance to his war philosophy, drawing an arrow in his Kaiyun and targeting Caellath.
"BITCH ASS MOTHAFUCKA'!" (1 vs. 3) The arrow goes
*plink* against Caellath's armor, heading straight back to the sender. (5 vs. 3) The arrow manages to embed itself directly in Tzu's left thigh, causing him to yelp and scream in a wacky slap-stick fashion. Remember that joke about the Skyrim guard and the arrow and his knee? Me neither.
Gordon Freeman 2.0, spontaneously joining the
Teal Heroes Archery Team, loads
ToadyOne's Legendary Longbow, aiming the piercing arrow directly at Tiruin. (6 vs. 5) The projectile hits him/her right in the chest! In addition to getting hit with an arrow, if Tiruin's a girl, that must really fucking hurt...
"By ye Holy Blade, I smite thine...prominence! O' Bringer of the Night and Death! Retribution!" King Arthur charges Piecewise with Excalibur. However, he's unmounted, so he just runs across the field in a pretty inelegant infantry forward move. Upon reaching the deviled creature, Arthur hacks at it, (3 vs. 6) and the blade bounces right off it's armor.
"Well....that was unexpected." (1 vs. 6) Piecewise goes for the attack, but gets distracted about this one idea for a roleplaying game.
Deoxys wastes no time in attacking the RTD Ensemble. Charging up his physic energy, the Pokemon fires a concentrated force of kinetic energy at ExKirby. (3 vs. 6) ExKirby waits for the counter, swallowing up the attacking just as it reaches him, and spitting it back at the galactic creature in the form of a star! (6 vs. 3) The star slams into Deoxys's mid-section, fracturing his Orb. It would have broken it, but luckily the Steel Armor took some of the impact.
"Prepare to be destroyed 'O' Weaver of Fates, for I am Twilight Sparkle, Element of Magic ans gaurdian of Friendship. I have recaptured the Chaos God Discord and defeated the Changling Queen. Tremble in fear at my, oh holy shit a new spell." Twilight Sparkle manages to make an equation mid-battle thinking about the logical properties of aerodynamics. With her new combo, she fires a magical impact blast at
Sean Mirrsan, (5 vs. 1) who barely manages to block out the worst of the blast as it hits his body. Stunned by the attacking, Twilight launches herself forward with a magical boost, turning into a hypersonic purple blur. She smashes into Sean, her horn spear-heading directly into his ribcage, shattering it. The bespectacled spectators, who just appear out of nowhere let out claims of
"WOMBO COMBO!"Fluttershy jumps onto TCM, giving him a hug.
"~Yay~" (6 vs. 1)
*Player TCM has left the server. Reason: HHHHNNNNNGGGG-Pinkamena Diane Pie finishes loading her cannon just as TCM leaves the sever.
"A fake Katana is a dishonor to all who wield the real thing, take this you false samurai!" Cyan Garamonde jumps several stories into the air, propelling himself forward, slicing his blade at Flying Dice. (6 vs. 3) He cuts along her underbelly, causing her to bleed liters out. He lands on his feet.
Delta idles.
Piecewise retaliates against
King Arthur. The masked (?) humanoid charges the Anglo-Saxon king.
"I will smite thee' devil!" Arthur holds his sword up for a counter-attack, when Piecewise rushes in, (5 vs. 2) and scratches at the King. Arthur counters with a vertical slice, but Piecewise rolls away before it connects. Looking down, he sees the beast has made a large diagonal cut across his torso that went straight through his armor. It didn't hit any vitals, but it's deep, and he is bleeding a lot.
"Oh dear."Draignean adjusts his sunglasses and views his contenders. Seeing how
Twilight Sparkle just rammed into Sean, he decides to attack her. He conjures up a blue fireball, pinpoints her position, and launches the incendiary at her. (1 vs. 5) Twilight is a skilled wizard however, and right before it makes contact, her horn glows and she redirects the fireball back, sending it to it's sender. (4 vs. 6) Draignean jumps away at the right time, as the fireball misses him and careens into the ground.
Gatleos teleports behind
Delta. Gatleos casts Death Ray! (6 vs. 5) It pierces the Big Daddy's Armor, both ways! Ow!
monk12 runs up to the 50 Mongolian Warriors, and tries to have one of those fights in the movie where one really talented dude fights a bunch of mooks but then the big boss shows up and they have a fight and it looks like the hero is going to lose but some magical thing happens and he wins and the credits roll and you walk out of the theater with your girlfriend thinking that it was an alright movie and you guys go out for Greek or something and go home where you have mediocre sex before falling asleep and you didn't bother to ask for a blowjob because she won't give you one because she didn't have any of that fancy wine she likes to drink. (3 vs. 2) The monk manages to whack a few on the head, knocking them out of the fight.
Tiruin looks down at her chest. That's a big arrow. She grabs the shaft and pulls it out. (1) Hey, that wasn't so bad
OH GOD THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE. Tiruin collapses dead, her corpse still bleeding out like it's Elfen Lied.
Caellath, seeing
Sun Tzu impale himself with an arrow, shrugs and walks up to him.
"Hey. (6 vs. 3) Caellath then swings his sword about, hacking off every single one of Tzu's limbs, leaving him a torso stump.
"Hey, wasn't there a line from a famous English comedy about this? Oh yeah, it went like this: OW FUCK!" Caellath drops his sword, fishing an Ipod and a set of headphones out of his armor. Placing the headphones in Sun's ears, the general asks,
"Hey man, the fuck you doin'? You got some Queen or ACDC on there? Or at least some Nirvana or something?" Caellath turns the device on, turns the setting to 'Repeat', and then starts playing:
"Up All Night - One Direction".
"OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"Sun Tzu has died!ExKirby sneaks up behind
Gordon Freeman 2.0. With his suction powers, the blob expands into a natural vacuum, sucking Gordon into his oral cavity! (5) Kirby spits Gordon out, and retains his powers! Now he wears a pair of glasses and a small HEV suit.
Gordon Kirby Mode Activated!Flying Dice, clutching his wound with one hand, spins around to fly at
Cyan Garamonde, Katana in mouth! (5 vs. 1) The Pegasus flies into Cyan, jousting him right in the ribcage like Twilight, smashing his ribcage!
Mongolian Warriors retaliate against monk12! (1 vs. 6) Monk skillfully evades every attack, (5 vs. 6) and come backs with an excellent combo! It doesn't connect either.
JFK in a Tank fires a shell at Draignean! (3 vs. 5) Draignean shoots a fireball back, disintegrating the shell! (6 vs. 2) As the fireball raced towards him, JFK announced,
"This is your president, John F. Kennedy, saying good night America." The fireball careens into the tank, destroying it in a blazing explosion.
JFK in a Tank has died!WWI Medic runs over to
Cyan Garamonde, pulls out a pair of forceps, and inspects his ribcage. (6) With some precision work, painkillers and bandaging, Cyan is in perfect shape!
Sean Mirrsan reels back, bleeding from the mouth. Clutching his torso, he grabs a spare die, and chucks it at
Twilight Sparkle. (5 vs. 1) The spinning die catches her on the head, knocking her into a deep comatose.
Sean MirrsanHealth: 4/6
Mood: Mad, because he accidentally his entire ribcage.
Piecewise: A grotesque lanky scare-crow looking figure, wrapped in torn cloth. Around it's midcenter is the phrase printed "TORTUREFORFUN".
Items: Talons
Health: Fine
Draignean: Red haired, goatee, sunglasses and blue fireballs. Rockin' it.
Items: Sunglasses, Coat
Health: Fine
Gatleos: Spellcasting portal-hopping penguin.
Items: Blue Wizzard Robes
Health: Fine
monk12: Hey look a monk. Runs around and hits stuff.
Items: Monk Robes, Bo Staff
Health: Fine
Caellath: Hates everyone.
Items: Broadsword, Knight Armor
Health: 100% Cynical Misanthropy
ExKirby: Pink blob. ~Kawaii~
Items:
Health: Fine
Ability: Copy (Currently: Gordon)
Flying Dice: Pseudo Dashie! :O
Items: Pseudo Katana
Health: Underbelly Cut, Heavy Bleeding
Twilight Sparkle
Items: Dashie's Katana, Teddy's Rifle, Teddy's Pistol, Teddy's Knife
Health: Deep Comatose
Pinkamena Diane Pie
Items: Chainsaw, Butcher Knife, Scalpel, 2 Jumper Cables, Shotgun, Chaos Cupcakes
Health: Fine
Fluttershy
Items: Sniper Camoflouge, 60's Sub-machine Guns
Health: Fine
Cyan Garamonde
Items: 2 Katanas, Tanto Knife, Samurai Armor, Sniper Camoflouge, Light U.S. Armor, Bronze Bars, Fragmentation Grenade
Health: Fine
Deoxys
Moveset: Psychic, Wrap, Night Shade, Flash Cannon, Hyper Beam (Ready!), Steel Helmet, Steel Armor
Health: Orb Fractured
Gordon Freeman 2.0
Items: Crowbar, Gravity Gun, Fire Crossbow, 1911 Pistol, Handcannon Revolver, Uzi, Laser Rifle, Javelin RPG, Flashbangs, Fragmentation Grenades, ToadyOne's Legendary Longbow
Health: Fine
Delta
Items: Drill Arm, Rivet Gun, Machine Gun, Harpoon Launcher, Electro Bolt Plasmid, Incinerate Plasmid, Winter Blast Plasmid, Telekinesis Plasmid
Health: Direct Death Ray Hit
King Arthur
Items: Chain Mail, Excalibur, Shield
Health: Large Diagonal Chest Cut, Heavy Bleeding
Mongolian Warriors
Equipment: Turkish Sabers, Mongolian Armor
Health: 42/50 Warriors
WWI Medic
Items: WWI Military Uniform, Military Helmet, Trench Rifle, Amputation Kit
Ability: Medic
Health: Health: Fine
Author
Topic: Roll to Dodge Princess Celestia, Act II [Actually Done This Time: R.I.P] (Read 336700 times)