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It's cool to read.

28 (56%)

It's kind of obtuse.

4 (8%)

Pretensious

4 (8%)

Stop ripping it off, Kitten, you hack.

12 (24%)

No

2 (4%)

Total Members Voted: 48

[Aseaheru]

oh shit.

[stabbymcstabstab]

Trade our vest for the least damage one on our armored zeds, unless ours is the least damaged one.

[ArchAIngel]

Trade our vest for the least damage one on our armored zeds, unless ours is the least damaged one.

Good idea, also we should search our memory for any data on non-human races. Dwarves, hydras, ecetera. If we get a zombie hydra, imagine the faces on Sasha and company!

[Fr0stByt3]

Cue maniacal laughter with a healthy dollop of evil added to the mix.

[ArchAIngel]

Cue maniacal laughter with a healthy dollop of evil added to the mix.

If you think that is nasty, give Theresa a warhammer, and get a zombie dragon. Watch things die very, very, VERY fast.

[Kitten Snot]

You take a look around your armored zombie pile, and find a largely unscathed vest. You switch it out with your existing one.
Nicely armored now.
Then the narrator decides to take over the story in order to avoid some kind of crappy excuse to go expositioning for the rest of this shoddy update you've been waiting way too long for.
The dwarves used to exist, but an accident involving magma, an army of zombie mussels and linked minds caused for a cascade, eventually leading to all dwarves killing themselves while dressing themselves in socks. Some noodles and a kid with a stuffed tiger may also be involved.

As for dragons, hydra's and all that other fun stuff, a lot of them vanished after magic was largely stopped by the human uprising. Dragons realized in the last moments of their life that they don't have the body shape for flying, hydra's simply couldn't create mass from nothing, so they quickly grew extinct from suicidal overconfidence.
Some magical creatures survived, but they are few and far between.
Snappas are one of the few creatures that survived the Human uprising with little to no casualties. Some other creatures exist from the age of magic, but they are rare.

Heh...
What is it?
I just thought of something silly.
Explain?
Theresa riding a zombie dragon while swinging a war-hammer around.
That IS pretty silly, but what does that have to do with anything?
Absolutely nothing. Diane was momentarily surprised by the sudden voice of the narrator, but then a cosmic retcon prevented her from remembering this.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Health:alright, i guess.
Energy: Awake
Armor: Bulletproof vest, strong pants, good stompin' boots, Helmet.
Hunger: Fed.
Durability level: 1.
Inventory:4 Biobombs. 28 worms.Smith & Wesson Model 500 (loaded), 10 .50 caliber bullets,  4 ammo boxes of .50 cal ammo. MP5SFA3,  4 clips.
Gun experience: Can hit stuff.
Safe-house security: Gone.
Rage:Ready.

Banana gang.
20 normals, one spitter ,15 armored ,Snowflake, One Benshee, Blood-wing(outside, somewhere), one crawler, one dog, one brutish bear.
Closest Friend: Diane
Friend:Bennie(missing!)
Caretaker: "Theresa's Whisper"

[Graknorke]

You might want to update the "armor" section of the status text.

[weenog]

Safehouse Security section, as well.

[Aseaheru]

go look for more bananas.

[weenog]

"Ha! ga!z. Rhannah B -!n mah gang?"

Getting more zombies is good.  We can't run up and headbutt densely populated buildings though, we lack both the personal and horde strength.  Quiet, small-scale abductions is where it's at.  We should pick somewhere else in town as the center of our people search, and stagger distances from there.  When enough disappearances have happened that people start noticing a circular area of effect emerging, we want it to indicate the wrong place as the point of origin... preferably several miles away from here.

[Fr0stByt3]

I agree with this.

[Urist McDwarfFortress]

We should pick somewhere else in town as the center of our people search, and stagger distances from there.  When enough disappearances have happened that people start noticing a circular area of effect emerging, we want it to indicate the wrong place as the point of origin... preferably several miles away from here.

Good idea!

We should also see if we can get any info about Sasha.

[ArchAIngel]

We should pick somewhere else in town as the center of our people search, and stagger distances from there.  When enough disappearances have happened that people start noticing a circular area of effect emerging, we want it to indicate the wrong place as the point of origin... preferably several miles away from here.

Good idea!

We should also see if we can get any info about Sasha.

Agreed.

[Graknorke]

We should pick somewhere else in town as the center of our people search, and stagger distances from there.  When enough disappearances have happened that people start noticing a circular area of effect emerging, we want it to indicate the wrong place as the point of origin... preferably several miles away from here.

Good idea!

We should also see if we can get any info about Sasha.

In the words of Yahtzee; "Everyone seemed to think I wanted to go in pursuit of the bloke who shot my brain, but I'd have thought the fact that he shot me in the brain was a fucking good reason to not pursue the guy.".

[JHYMERS]

I'm going to test a theory of mine real quick.
Ask Theresa and Diane what there favorite song or poem is, when it won't seem like such a random action.