You take a look around your armored zombie pile, and find a largely unscathed vest. You switch it out with your existing one.
Nicely armored now.
Then the narrator decides to take over the story in order to avoid some kind of crappy excuse to go expositioning for the rest of this shoddy update you've been waiting way too long for.
The dwarves used to exist, but an accident involving magma, an army of zombie mussels and linked minds caused for a cascade, eventually leading to all dwarves killing themselves while dressing themselves in socks. Some noodles and a kid with a stuffed tiger may also be involved.
As for dragons, hydra's and all that other fun stuff, a lot of them vanished after magic was largely stopped by the human uprising. Dragons realized in the last moments of their life that they don't have the body shape for flying, hydra's simply couldn't create mass from nothing, so they quickly grew extinct from suicidal overconfidence.
Some magical creatures survived, but they are few and far between.
Snappas are one of the few creatures that survived the Human uprising with little to no casualties. Some other creatures exist from the age of magic, but they are rare.
Heh...What is it?I just thought of something silly.Explain?Theresa riding a zombie dragon while swinging a war-hammer around.That IS pretty silly, but what does that have to do with anything?Absolutely nothing. Diane was momentarily surprised by the sudden voice of the narrator, but then a cosmic retcon prevented her from remembering this.
Health:alright, i guess.
Energy: Awake
Armor: Bulletproof vest, strong pants, good stompin' boots, Helmet.
Hunger: Fed.
Durability level: 1.
Inventory:4 Biobombs. 28 worms.Smith & Wesson Model 500 (loaded), 10 .50 caliber bullets, 4 ammo boxes of .50 cal ammo. MP5SFA3, 4 clips.
Gun experience: Can hit stuff.
Safe-house security: Gone.
Rage:Ready.
Banana gang.
20 normals, one spitter ,15 armored ,Snowflake, One Benshee, Blood-wing(outside, somewhere), one crawler, one dog, one brutish bear.
Closest Friend: Diane
Friend:Bennie(missing!)
Caretaker: "Theresa's Whisper"