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It's cool to read.

28 (56%)

It's kind of obtuse.

4 (8%)

Pretensious

4 (8%)

Stop ripping it off, Kitten, you hack.

12 (24%)

No

2 (4%)

Total Members Voted: 48

[ArchAIngel]

Why the goddamn speed idea anyway? Somebody playing cataclysm?
Anyway, do this:

You know, we could say it like we're only after Sasha Inc, and if the public helps us capture them, we'll spare them. Nobody part from Sasha Inc employees will die.
And then we kill everyone anyway. I mean, after Sasha's gone, there isn't really gonna be anything that could stop us, except maybe all the military on the continent or a nuke.

[Aseaheru]

I dont even know why people say everyone uses speed in cataclysm. Hell, my people dont even use codeine thanks to what I pick for them.

[Urist McDwarfFortress]

You know, we could say it like we're only after Sasha Inc, and if the public helps us capture them, we'll spare them. Nobody part from Sasha Inc employees will die.
And then we kill everyone anyway. I mean, after Sasha's gone, there isn't really gonna be anything that could stop us, except maybe all the military on the continent or a nuke.

Sounds like a suitably subtle evil plan.

[~Neri]

After the speech we should do The Thriller dance with all the zombies.

[Kitten Snot]

Ladies and gentlemen. Do not switch your station. This is Zero, the first of the walking dead. This is not a gang name, nor a joke. The dead are hungry, but we will not talk about our feeding habits, but more about what created and drives us.
Small Horse Medical takes ordinary people like you, your neighbor and your children and tortures and twists them until they are in their preferred form. I have two victims with me. One twisted into a dog-like creature because they wished to make use of death row inmates to serve as dogs to the rich and powerful. Another is a young elf girl they electrocuted, tortured and treated like a generator because she has command over magic. Yes, it is back after so many millennia, and all they use it for is as a fucking computer. She was forced to electrocute herself because the pain allowed for greater magic.
This is just one of the many crimes against humanity they caused. The most lethal of which is talking to you right. Now.
I have been going from base to base. Stopping them, and turning the smartest and most evil of minds in my minions. But before my awakening, I have murdered many. When I found the company, I awoke. I looked upon my blood-soaked hands, my bloodied mouth and screamed... I wish only to stop these crimes, and if the people of America help, then I will spare them when I rise. I will have an army, and I will leave everyone alone as I build my empire of immortals. My minions gain intelligence back slowly yet steadily. I can create an utopia. So help me take down these abominations. Help me, and I will be able to create the immortal empire, free to all, and Small Horse will be stopped.
Join me, and greatness awaits!


You order them to shut off the feed, and Diane claps a bit sarcastically.
Awakening? Seriously? You sound like a cult leader.
Well, mindless zombies and a few smart people here for their own gain? Sounds like a cult to me.
Tw and Diane smile and shake their head in a "god-damn that's actually true" sort of way. Iris appears to be eating a snack she nabbed out of the pocket of one of hostages.
This stuffs is great! What is its?
The man is clearly terrified, but he answers with a surprisingly steady voice: That's a cookie filled with some jam.
It's great! Thanks yous. The look she gave the man is enough to cause and cure diabetes at the same time.
What do you do with the radio people, and what will you do after leaving?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Zero's stats:
Health: Hurt.
Energy: Little bit tuckered out.
Armor: Bulletproof vest, strong pants, good stompin' boots, Helmet.
Hunger: well-fed.
Durability level: 2
Inventory:28 worms(dead).Smith & Wesson Model 500 (loaded), 3 .50 caliber bullets,  3 ammo boxes of .50 cal ammo. MP5SFA3,  2 clips.
Gun experience: Can hit stuff.
Safe-house security: Existent
Rage: Used.

Diane's stats:
Health: still somewhat harmed
Energy: fine
Hunger: well-fed
Armor: Military armor. Bulletproof vest, a strong pair of pants,simple shoes
Inventory: hunting rifle, Pinkamena's Knife.

Horde.
A bunch of normals, A bunch of Spitters ,80-ish armored , An amount of actors, a larger amount of anklebiters,Snowflake and some other brutes, evidently., One Banshee, Blood-wing(outside, somewhere), one crawler, one brutish bear.
In total, you have 2300 or so zombies.
Friend:Bennie(missing!)
Protector and teacher: Iris.
Caretaker: "Theresa's Whisper"

Also, Iris is not addicted to speed. They worked that out of her, along with immunity of a lot of drugs, coincidentally.
Please don't give the sympathetic characters drugs. I'd just feel bad because I know these people.

[kj1225]

Leave the radio guys alone. We can't kill them after that interaction Iris had with them. Go look for another base I guess.

[Urist McDwarfFortress]

We still need to get that video out. I say we look up the nearest TV station.

[Aseaheru]

Thank them for letting us use there equipment, go to a TV station.

[tryrar]

Actually, hack the biggest video streaming site and upload that sucker to the internet. The government might be able to shut down or block the feed from one station, but they'd have to turn off the entire Internet to keep people from seeing it this way.

As for the Hostages, "Well well, it's your lucky day boys! You get to keep breathing for a while longer, since you haven't really done anything to annoy me today. Of course, if you try anything stupid, I'd just have to feed you to my horde on principle, but then again, I'm sure you have a brain, right?"

[Aseaheru]

Oh come on, we arent THAT mean. Treat them with some respect, i mean, they arent crying and wetting themselves now, are they?

[weenog]

Thank them for use of their equipment (and the cookie).  Leave them unharmed.

Ask them if there's a vending machine where we can get some more nice snacks for Iris.  If a vending machine is available, get some snacks.

Ask them if they're equipped to do video broadcast.  Do NOT ask them where we can find suitable video broadcast equipment if they don't have it -- they'll probably tell the authorities and we'll walk into a heavily fortified ambush.  If video broadcast equipment is available, broadcast our video of the inside of that last den of evil.

Do not leave with a menacing gesture or message, they've been (relatively) accommodating to us and we should try to be polite to encourage more of that in the future.  Besides, they're free to continue broadcasting after we leave, it would be helpful if they remarked on our surprising graciousness and restraint after we're gone.

Leave peaceably after we're done doing our thing (or find out we can't).  Find a secure place to hide out, rest up, and plan our next moves.

[Urist McDwarfFortress]

Just let the hostages go. Hopefully, they'll go around talking about us and our message on all the news shows!

[ArchAIngel]

Amen, get some snacks.
EDIT: Nevermind, I read the post wrong.

[Rolan7]

That was great!
Yes, this is definitely a good time to show the hostages mercy, even kindness.  But not too much information.

[weenog]

Idea: Target politicians and trial lawyers whenever possible.  The general public might hate them even more than us, it may generate some sympathy for us.  Also, once it becomes obvious that's what's happening, they'll put their wealth and influence to use trying to surround themselves with police, private security contractors, even military if they can get away with it... diverting fighting men away from other potential targets.