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Author Topic: CPU - Cat Processing Unit  (Read 2609 times)

miauw62

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CPU - Cat Processing Unit
« on: January 30, 2012, 01:27:13 pm »

I just had a crazy-ass idea for an efficient unfortunate accident machine cat processing unit.

Its basicly, you put a bronze collosus in a room, say, a 3x3 island in the middle of that room, so the bronze collosus cant get out. then you drop in cats from above, and the collosus throws them around into the gaps surrounding his island. they fall a few z-levels where dwarves can butcher and process the cat bodies.
Not efficient, but amusing to watch (i think). havent tested it yet, but if anybody could, i would be very amused.
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
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schismatise

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Re: CPU - Cat Processing Unit
« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2012, 01:30:03 pm »

cat processing unit.

havent tested it yet, but if anybody could, i would be very amused.

I'm already amused!
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wierd

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Re: CPU - Cat Processing Unit
« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2012, 01:32:17 pm »

Beware the potential for tantrum spirals as urist McCatlady goes psychotic because you eliminated her 50 "precious babies".
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Agent_86

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Re: CPU - Cat Processing Unit
« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2012, 01:33:08 pm »

Beware the potential for tantrum spirals as urist McCatlady goes psychotic because you eliminated her 50 "precious babies".
Urist McCatlady deserves to be thrown in there with her "precious babies".
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Sphalerite

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Re: CPU - Cat Processing Unit
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2012, 01:37:11 pm »

Tame animals which die from any cause other than being deliberately slaughtered at a butcher's shop cannot be butchered.  So no, you won't be able to slaughter the bodies of the cats.  You also run the risk that the bronze collossus will dodge off the platform when one of the cats attacks it.
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wierd

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Re: CPU - Cat Processing Unit
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2012, 01:39:15 pm »

Actually, I had contemplated the utility of replacing the bronze collosus with a hoarde of GCS instead... the web breath effect sprays several tiles surrounding the area that the intended target occupies, so a 1 tile wide, non-traversable trench between the gcs and web collection area could possibly be an adequate way to "convert" useless nobles and kittens into valuable raw silk webs.... the only trouble will be the "can't collect webs, too scared of GCS!" Job cancellation spam....

Hmm...
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miauw62

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Re: CPU - Cat Processing Unit
« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2012, 01:46:14 pm »

Tame animals which die from any cause other than being deliberately slaughtered at a butcher's shop cannot be butchered.  So no, you won't be able to slaughter the bodies of the cats.  You also run the risk that the bronze collossus will dodge off the platform when one of the cats attacks it.
I actually did think about that, since cats usually get thrown further then 3 blocks (from project 5000 kittens vs bronze collosus in arena mode) you could simply add some extra walls, like this:

Code: [Select]
#########
#+++++++#
#+^^^^^+#
#+^+++^+#
#+^+++^+#
#+^+++^+#
#+^^^^^+#
#+++++++#
#########
Where # is empty space for the cats to fall in, + is generic floor, and # is empty space whit cage traps underneath, if the collosus dodges down, he could simply be captured and brought up again.
(i hope it doesnt look too retarded)
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

FearfulJesuit

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Re: CPU - Cat Processing Unit
« Reply #7 on: January 30, 2012, 02:05:47 pm »

Tame animals which die from any cause other than being deliberately slaughtered at a butcher's shop cannot be butchered.  So no, you won't be able to slaughter the bodies of the cats.  You also run the risk that the bronze collossus will dodge off the platform when one of the cats attacks it.

So the project is even more dangerous than originally conceived and completely pointless to boot.

And the problem you have with it is...?
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Sphalerite

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Re: CPU - Cat Processing Unit
« Reply #8 on: January 30, 2012, 02:09:49 pm »

Tame animals which die from any cause other than being deliberately slaughtered at a butcher's shop cannot be butchered.  So no, you won't be able to slaughter the bodies of the cats.  You also run the risk that the bronze collossus will dodge off the platform when one of the cats attacks it.

So the project is even more dangerous than originally conceived and completely pointless to boot.

And the problem you have with it is...?
Needs magma.
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imperium3

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Re: CPU - Cat Processing Unit
« Reply #9 on: January 30, 2012, 02:10:18 pm »

I've actually done something very similar to this. I pastured every cat in the fortress into a small room containing a bronze colossus cage. Lock the door, pull the lever.... cat chutney, anyone?

Urist McCatLovingMayor was not amused, however.
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miauw62

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Re: CPU - Cat Processing Unit
« Reply #10 on: January 30, 2012, 02:13:10 pm »

Tame animals which die from any cause other than being deliberately slaughtered at a butcher's shop cannot be butchered.  So no, you won't be able to slaughter the bodies of the cats.  You also run the risk that the bronze collossus will dodge off the platform when one of the cats attacks it.

So the project is even more dangerous than originally conceived and completely pointless to boot.

And the problem you have with it is...?
Needs magma.



Straight to it sir!

EDIT: Urist McMagma cancelled design CPU: pig tail socks detected
« Last Edit: January 30, 2012, 02:14:59 pm by miauw62 »
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

Loud Whispers

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Re: CPU - Cat Processing Unit
« Reply #11 on: January 30, 2012, 02:16:11 pm »

Couldn't most of the risks of danger to the health of our bronze friend be eliminated by building a one tile catching zone with ramps leading up? Cats will get flung far further, and if the Colossus falls, he'll have a second chance ;)

miauw62

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Re: CPU - Cat Processing Unit
« Reply #12 on: January 30, 2012, 02:20:08 pm »

Couldn't most of the risks of danger to the health of our bronze friend be eliminated by building a one tile catching zone with ramps leading up? Cats will get flung far further, and if the Colossus falls, he'll have a second chance ;)
Hmm, i dont really understand what youre saying sorry.
If there are more then one tiles surrounding the platform he stands on, how can you have a one-tile catching zone?
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.

Loud Whispers

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Re: CPU - Cat Processing Unit
« Reply #13 on: January 30, 2012, 02:25:49 pm »

Basically, on the pillar the Colossus stands on, have on the z lvl below a ring of floors with ramps on top of them. Bronze Colossus catcher v.2.1

miauw62

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Re: CPU - Cat Processing Unit
« Reply #14 on: January 30, 2012, 02:31:22 pm »

Basically, on the pillar the Colossus stands on, have on the z lvl below a ring of floors with ramps on top of them. Bronze Colossus catcher v.2.1
Ah, i see, in my former sketch, just replace the the traps whit ramps?
You could do that, but he would be able to move down, not that thats a problem.
Alrighty, back to the magma plan.
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Quote from: NW_Kohaku
they wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the raving confessions of a mass murdering cannibal from a recipe to bake a pie.
Knowing Belgium, everyone will vote for themselves out of mistrust for anyone else, and some kind of weird direct democracy coalition will need to be formed from 11 million or so individuals.
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