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[CaptainBadwheel]

Looks like, magma, and some water pumps? Or maybe waterwheels. Its clearly some magma device driven by waterwheels. Or foggily some water device driven by magma wheels. An obsidianizer. Or a toaster; a magma toaster, far superior to the coal-fired toaster. Would you like some toast?

[Gizogin]

Aww, no thanks.  I had a big breakfast.

[Phantom of The Library]

Aww, no thanks.  I had a big breakfast.

Maybe some tea then?  Can't refuse tea.
It's impolite.

[wierd]

Ok, but no sugar, no milk, and no biscuits.

Just the tea.

[Argonnek]

The coloration at the top right of the image are spatters of ichor, blood, and bloody ichor on walls. You've recently had an attack by some forgotten beast or other, and then crundles.

[TurkeyXIII]

You exhibit a shameful waste of good magnetite.

[MagmaSolutionsInc]

The coloration at the top right of the image are spatters of ichor, blood, and bloody ichor on walls. You've recently had an attack by some forgotten beast or other, and then crundles.

Ron Burgundy lives!

[Musashi]

The most worshiped god in this fort has fertility as one of his domains.
There's no elf in your world.

[Gizogin]

The most worshiped god in this fort has fertility as one of his domains.
There's no elf in your world.

The first of these I haven't even checked.  How could you possibly come up with that?
As for the second, I'd still like to know your reasoning.

[Musashi]

No real reasoning. Given there seems to be an emphasis on farming in your fort, I thought it would be amusing if the abundant food could be blamed on a fertility god. (Or a food god, I forgot that was a domain too.)
As for the elves, I figured that you would have more trained soldiers if you had the chance to face pointy-eared bastards in wooden armor.

I could have made predictions that relied more on less shaky logic, but most of them were already posted here, so I figured I could try guessing something original.

[Loud Whispers]

THE TREES ARE INVADING

[Urist Imiknorris]

You recently had some issues re: forgetting that water can flow diagonally.

You've been visited by an FB whose syndrome causes vomiting.

[keyreper]

your flooding hell, and slowly claiming it at the same time, it seems you  like vomit? fb that is made of vomit to fertilize crops? obsidian farm? you brew your drinks out of pig tail fibers, and if none of that works, your hacking

[Tharwen]

I'd say you'll never starve your dwarves, anyway.

Maybe he does, and the meat is just for taunting them...

[Gizogin]

Actually, that reminds me of something I should have mentioned at the start: this fortress is completely vanilla.  I also don't use DFHack or DT.