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[GreatWyrmGold]

This is a place where we can discuss how policies used in dwarven fortresses could apply to real-world politics. Just two rules:

1. This is not a place for serious ideas. Put those somewhere else.
2. Do not treat others' suggestions as serious. You may only argue points using logic that makes sense in DF.
3. Anyone wanting to break these rules should ideally make a new thread, but may post here under extenuating circumstances.
4. Each of these rules counts as half a rule for the purposes of counting.

Let's get started.


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There's a simple solution to unemployment. Take all of the peasants and lye makers, and either have them smelt steel in magma forges, mine down to the mantle to get the magma for the forges, or build massive structures out of the rock. Shame that it'll be all blocky, but meh.
Instead of funneling billions of dollars into the military, we could just send a few miners and mechanics and such to make a magma trap. Simply build and fire. Sure, it'd take longer, but where's the Fun in efficiency?
There's an even simpler solution to terrorism. MAGMAAA!!!

[Alluvian_Est-Endrati]

Nothing helps increase worker productivity and efficiency than Mandates. Mandate more Slade Earrings!

[King DZA]

There's one simple thing that they could learn from my dwarves, and I'm confident it would effectively solve roughly 100% of all political problems:

Do everything I say without question, regardless of whether or not they understand it, automatically presuming that anything I tell them is probably for their best interest in the end anyway.

[zombie urist]

Jails are overcrowded. Instead of putting new criminals in jail, just have someone punch them a few times in the face.

[Pokon]

By now they should know that the people who spend most of there time underground, digging for coal and other things in the rocky hill-lands, generaly support and do go into the military more than other groups.

[Telgin]

Economic troubles?  Make more dwarven syrup roasts!  Export for everything every other country owns.

[Urist Imiknorris]

They should know to embrace the dwarven hive mind.

[NonconsensualSurgery]

-You should acquire several large dogs and keep them with you at all times to reduce your risk of being assassinated.

-If you never do anything useful and spend all your time adding pork to the budget then your voters will start plotting to kill you.

-If, having violated 2, you find yourself with a task that involves standing in a specific spot for too long or pulling a lever then DO NOT DO IT.

-You need crisis management techniques beyond tearing off all your clothes and shouting incoherently until you die of thirst.

[Urist McCatkiller]

If terrorists attack, lock everyone in a bunker and FLOOD THE WORLD WITH MAGMA!!!

[Pokon]

To avoid casulties during a war, one must build a self-supporting undergrund bunker near the core of the world.

[612DwarfAvenue]

Jails are overcrowded. Instead of putting new criminals in jail, just have them fight in an arena with Goblins and Elves you wish to dispose of.

FTFY.

[Malt_Hitman]

If a politician makes unreasonable demands of their populace a semi-omniscient being may have them killed by an elaborate deathtrap likely involving magma.

[Moonshadow101]

On a more basic level, we've been building our cities all wrong. You should make rooms by starting with a solid block of mountain and subtracting unwanted material, rather than starting with an empty space an adding walls and shit. We've been doing it all wrong!

Capitalism is for chumps. Every industry should be entirely controlled by a single entity. It's not communism, because the entity in question isn't the government. The government can demand that the entity do certain things, but the entity is not obliged to obey. Indeed, such demands are often met with death.

If the Jails are full, beating a criminal to death is an acceptable substitute. Even if the crime was "not fulfilling a politician's demand to produce several pairs of pants, which were to be made of woven strands mythical god-metal."

[Cabbagetroll]

Trade is for weak civilizations. Our leaders should simply seize any goods they want, at any time from foreign traders. If we choose the right nation to take from, free stuff forever.

[Gizogin]

People don't mind death, war, famine, and poverty, just as long as they have a really nice dining room to eat in.