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[Urist McGyver]

You can only laugh at something in Dwarf Fortress when you have weaponized it.

[Oliolli]

I'm about to sig what Oliolli responded to my hive-mind comment.

Feel free, if you so choose.

It is the vomit of the almighty Armok himself.

It's one of those rare occasions, when Armok drank so much he actually vomited.

[RAKninja]

Eyeballs are for surface dwelling, sunlight loving, tree shagging elves, and their human conspirators.

Real dwarves find their way around by sensing the magma, and the aroma of the booze stockpile. Eyeballs are totally unnecessary when you have total cave adaptation!

(Besides, if you do this at the river's source, you get to blind and deform the elves in their perverted little "retreat" downstream!)

everyone knows dwarves navigate using their most sensitive of sense organs....  the beard.

[wierd]

How do you think they sense the magma?

[Aspgren]

Due to a forgotten beast I had a group of blind military once.

 I decided to see how well they would perform without their eyeballs so I captured a large rat, released it in the fort and told them to kill it. What followed was a hilarious scooby-doo inspired chase where the rat fled from the 8 dwarves up and down all levels of the fortress. They frequently flashed with little question marks and almost never got close enough to grab the rat - and when they did they always fumbled. The rat tore through the entire fort looking for a way out and at one point the group dogpiled on top of a scared citizen who was somehow pushed into a well.

 It only ended when I told the captain of the guard to help out. Blind soldiers are WORTHLESS

[Loud Whispers]

It only ended when I told the captain of the guard to help out. Blind soldiers are WORTHLESS

Those weren't soldiers, those were blind fools you sent on a rat chase.

Call that a military? GET OUT OF MY FORTRESS

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

_{lololol j/k}

[Aspgren]

Those weren't soldiers, those were blind fools you sent on a rat chase.

They were the best of the best!

 and by that I mean the blindest of the blind!

[Loud Whispers]

They were the best of the best!

 and by that I mean the blindest of the blind!

How good were the best? Because if they fail to kill a rat...

[malroth]

so, perfect Balistae operators?

[Loud Whispers]

so, perfect Balistae operators?

Yup. Removes the will for self preservation.

[Kirbypowered]

so, perfect Balistae operators?

Yup. Removes the will for self preservation.

We Dwarf Fortress players would make absolutely horrible great leaders.

[Elf Lover]

so, perfect Balistae operators?

Yup. Removes the will for self preservation.

We Dwarf Fortress players would make absolutely horrible great leaders.

"Righto, lads! Up and over the top of the trench, eh wot? Remember to walk slowly so th' Jerries think we're fearless!"

[Loud Whispers]

so, perfect Balistae operators?

Yup. Removes the will for self preservation.

We Dwarf Fortress players would make absolutely horrible great leaders.

"Righto, lads! Up and over the top of the trench, eh wot? Remember to walk slowly so th' Jerries think we're fearless!"

We would make great leaders wouldn't we.
>Plans super treason<
It's like normal treason, but tastier.

[Elf Lover]

so, perfect Balistae operators?

Yup. Removes the will for self preservation.

We Dwarf Fortress players would make absolutely horrible great leaders.

"Righto, lads! Up and over the top of the trench, eh wot? Remember to walk slowly so th' Jerries think we're fearless!"

We would make great leaders wouldn't we.
>Plans super treason<
It's like normal treason, but tastier.

Cue Rommel and the bomb plots.

[exolyx]

Whoop, they're dropping like flies because of infection now.