Chapter 6: Things heat up!
Chingachgkuk's friends are, as we all know, many and are increasing in number every nine months. Among his friends, or enthusiastic pre-teen girl fans who scream when they see his monkishness, are a few who're a bit worried about his health. They live in Takeda territory, in a former Yaknchihamay province, and heard rumours those horse-lovers want to give us some of their live. Mainly in the form of horses. And bows, and spears, and other forms of cold steel. And indeed, pre-teen girls high on sake may be a better source than... Well, surely they're a better source than
something!
What did I tell you? What did I tell you? Nothing, actually. But Kenchieng almost missed a night's sleep because of what happened. Then he drank sake. And wine, and other forms of alcohol. That eased his problems enough to let him concentrate on the tak ahead: Sleep. However, not everyone is so happy, because even some Uesugi realise that the Takeda declaring war on us is a pretty bad thing, even if we're joined by the Date. Good thing though, is that the Hojo did not join the war against us. They're still continuing their Phony War with the Date though. Seriously, ever since the Date declared war, nothing has happened. Not a single battle. Do those people even know what a war is? Then again, we Uesugi shouldn't be insulting others for being stupid.
In the meanwhile...
Our great fleet must not stop, and after taking some time to rest their sorrow and weep all their tears, our brave and legendary sailors sail out to take the fight to the enemy! Well, to our glorious trading port, a true jewel of Japan, because the Ikko Ikki scum are blockading it. As the fleet approaches, every sailor ready to fight the glorious fight, our hawk-eyed scouts notice the loathsome Ikko Ikki flags in the distance, and upon getting closer, can see they belong to four medium bunes.To honour a fallen hero, Admiral Yasuda, who is now a greatly revered legend in all Uesugi lands, the battle plan is kept the same. Two groups of three bow kobayas each flank the enemy and hopefully break up the enemy group, then our three medium bunes can board and overwhelm the enemy in smaller pieces.As our hawk-eyed trusty archers shoot the weak enemy ships with glorious fire arrows, the first close combat action of the battle begins it's chaotic fury. Our brave, and grievously outnumbered sailors charge across to the enemy ship, and kill nearly ever last enemy soldier. In the end though, they are so exhausted by the chaos and insanity that is battle, even though they are true legends, that both ships give up the fight and surrender.(Honestly, I had like 10 archers and 5 yari left on my medium bune when I boarded, and they were constantly "winning decisively". I think it's because the fake admiral was on that ship. Then both my and the enemy ship surrendered, which was quite weird.)
Our bow kobayas are making passes alongside the slow and cumbersome enemy ships and their dumbfound crew, and kill many enemies with their trusty arrows and fire arrows before having to turn around again. Our other two medium bunes approach the enemy with a fearsome war cry ringing from the decks of both of them, a war cry that will resonate throughout the history of Japan, and one which shook those curs to the bone.Soldiers prepare again to face the loathsome enemy in battle, and they charge across the gap with a fire in their bellies and a prayer on their lips, and I don't ask anything more of them. Fourty thousand hours of training have been put into this moment, one which will focus the attention of our men to the limit, and where we will show those cowardly curs who is the lord of the sea.The last traitorous heathens try to flee, but our bow kobayas hunt them down like vultures do the dying animal. We have gained victory on the seas this day, and it will be a victory to remember for all times!There is no rest for the wicked, a saying by people who apparently either like resting or don't like the wicked, seems quite appropriate in our situation. But really though, we Uesugi aren't really wicked. We're religious and dumb, so the gods should really like us. Not long after the enemy Ikko Ikki fleet is defeated, a Takeda army appears near our capital. While surely the winter killed some of them off (And they call us stupid...), their army is huge and their general is apparently pretty accomplished. Or Takeda leadership gave him all those stars to make us believe he's skilled. Self-fulfilling prophecy and all that stuff, it might be a good idea to try for ourselves!
After waiting three months, because hey, why not, the Takeda army finally gets off its ass and sieges the capital. Which might have been a pretty dumb idea, considering there is more than seven hundred of us and we're defending. Then again, their troops are veterans of more battles the Uesugi had in total in the past years. Which is not a lot, but still, their troops are really good. Ours have barely been recruited in anticipation of a Takeda attack.
Now we will see if the VIBMCHP did his job well enough. Does letter-resistant equal attacker-resistant? Let's see. I mean, it does look like a pretty nice castle, I have to admit, but will it work?
Some idiots are staring into the sunset, but they do pull their eyes pretty close. Some idiots can just never be understood. Kingenshin holds a pretty nice speech in the meanwhile.
That is, until we realise he's talking to a door. That does sort of ruin the mood, let's be honest. I wonder what he had to drink for that. Like, honestly. Sake isn't strong enough for that, even for Japanese people. Then again, it's not like I believe in any land that's not Japan, just saying. You know how it goes.
Kenchingan took a walk around the castle to inspect what it's like. I mean yeah, sure, he does live here and all that stuff, but he never really had a good time to look around, and now it seems quite important. The castle is surrounded by a river, most of which is easily crossed, but there are two deeper areas where bridges lead across.
Then, while walking around, he notices a very strange thing that draws his attention for the rest of the battle. What could it be? Perhaps a sort of static bicycle for gyms? But then again, what is a bicycle and what are gyms? He's getting such strange thoughts lately.
Oh look, there's another one! Such a strange conspiracy! These must be the work of witches, he'll order some women burned after the battle. Perhaps those Obusa Nabado or whatever they're called.
Realising their commander is not going to do much, the soldiers finish the inspection and organise themselves. The castle is made up of three rings. The first ring is made up of two halves which don't cover the entire outer surface of the castle. A small bit on each side of the second ring is directly exposed to the enemy, while the third ring houses the castle.
The first ring will have archers stationed on the walls, and the two gates will be guarded by two hundred and forty warrior monks each.
The two gates leading up to the second ring are guarded by one hundred and twenty warrior monks and one hundred and fifty yari ashigarus each. The gate to the third ring is guarded by veteran yari ashigarus, and the third ring itself houses the daimyo, and fourty-five warrior chicks and ninety samurai retainers make sure he's safe contemplating up there. Or drinking. Whichever he prefers.
Interestingly, the enemy army has three generals, but the one supposedly leading the army is Shingunban or whatever his name is. They probably won't be too effective.
The enemy army is made up of two larger groups. One, coming from the north, is made up of two smaller groups. The left one contains no archers, but yari and katana samurai. The one on the right is made up of two bow ashigarus and a yari ashigaru.
The group coming from the south is made up of three smaller groups. The left and middle one contain no archers, while the rightmost one contains their three generals, and two bow ashigarus. Now that we know where the enemy is coming from, a unit of bow ashigarus march across the castle to help with the southern side.
As the enemy approaches, they are greeted by a new invention, our fire arrows. Even though they're in the water, it'd appear they can burn just fine.
With their archers trying to provide some covering fire, their samurai on the northern side start climbing up the walls. They probably thought the archers defending the walls would be easy to kill.
Surely the archers would be easy, but they meet our warrior monks who make short work of them. Meanwhile on the southern side, the enemy manages to establish a foothold inside the first ring, but they are stalled by an impromptu yari ashigaru flanking attack, while warrior monks hold them back and almost make us proud of being Uesugi.
Realising their honour is lost, their generals choose a quite compliacated way of suicide, and charge up the walls, expecting god-knows-what.
They probably also realised this was a stupid idea when they met a few archers volleys head on, then got trampled by an angry daimyo woken up from his afternoon nap.
Despite the initial worries of the soldiers, the battle is a shining victory for our forces. We have killed every single enemy and lost only three hundred and fourty two men. A unit of bow ashigarus scored one hundred and eighty five kills, setting the record for this battle. Another one scored one hundred and eighty four, they're probably pretty mad now.
Before news of even the Takeda army would reach our western towns, a huge Ikko Ikki army arrives on our doorsteps. That castle of ours is guarded by less troops and is not such a grand fort as our capital, let alone the fact the enemy is more numerous, and didn't starve during winter.
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I tried to take a bit more pictures now, hope you liked the update. Things are most definitely getting interesting.
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Topic: Let's Play Shogun: Total War 2 – Vassalize everyone (Read 12638 times)