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Poll

Do you want or have children, and how do you feel about your situation?

I want children, but I don't have any.-Male
- 64 (41%)
I want children, but I don't have any.-Female
- 2 (1.3%)
I don't want children and I don't have any.-Male
- 72 (46.2%)
I don't want children and I don't have any.-Female
- 6 (3.8%)
I have children and am happy I had them.-Male
- 9 (5.8%)
I have children and am happy I had them.-Female
- 3 (1.9%)
I have children and I regret it.-Male
- 0 (0%)
I have children and I regret it.-Female
- 0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 154


Pages: 1 ... 4 5 [6] 7 8 ... 10

Author Topic: Parents or Childfree?  (Read 5393 times)

Max White

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Re: Parents or Childfree?
« Reply #75 on: January 25, 2012, 01:04:37 am »

See, only the middle child knows how it feels...

Patchouli

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Re: Parents or Childfree?
« Reply #76 on: January 25, 2012, 01:08:42 am »

I don't hate kids, but the idea of trying to raise a child scares me. I'm terrified at the possibility of spending years and years raising a child, only to have them hate me as a father.
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NobodyPro

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Re: Parents or Childfree?
« Reply #77 on: January 25, 2012, 01:42:33 am »

Do not have three kids if you can help it. There is no such beast as a five seated car despite what you may believe.
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Max White

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Re: Parents or Childfree?
« Reply #78 on: January 25, 2012, 01:47:48 am »

Or a 2 door 5 seated car, regardless of what my father thought he was driving.
Comfort was not involved.

Zangi

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Re: Parents or Childfree?
« Reply #79 on: January 25, 2012, 02:36:46 am »

As of this moment in my life, I've no intent on getting a kid of my own.   

The burden of responsibility is a heavy one... and I am a light weight in that field.  My dedication and motivation to long term stuff is lacking... even more so when you add responsibility.
I suppose its a mental aversion to that stuff...  I've skipped out on some things, right in the middle with people expecting me to do stuff... cold turkey cause of it.

I know my own failings and I don't expect better from myself, but, I have a decent feel for what I can take on, most of the time anyways.
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Frelock

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Re: Parents or Childfree?
« Reply #80 on: January 25, 2012, 03:26:28 am »

Do not have three kids if you can help it. There is no such beast as a five seated car despite what you may believe.
Oh come now, they're perfectly fine until you get around age 12 or so, and there's always the minivan option.  Minivans are the best with three kids, because two have those nice single seaters to themselves, and the third has the entire back to lounge about in, and there's usually room to haul a friend around.
And as to the middle child being lonely, well, that might be true in my family (I'm the eldest of 3).  I know that in any argument, our middle was usually out-voted (the eldest has to look out for the baby, after all).  However, she's compensated (perhaps over-compensated) and grown up to be the most social out of any of us, so I think it could go either way.

As to whether or not I want to have kids, I definitely desire to have at least two kids and preferably more.  I know people keep talking about overpopulation, but in most industrialized countries the population is stable or even decreasing.  The reason the US still has its population growing is almost solely due to immigration.  And it's not like we're at all short on food; modern occurrences of starvation are almost solely due to distribution, economic, and political problems.  Energy is a different beast with real problems, but I'm getting off topic and rather rant-ish.  One of the reasons that I really want kids that I don't think anyone mentioned thusfar is that I want my parents to be grandparents.  Strange, I know.  My parents aren't the type to say things like "When will you get around to making me grandkids," but at the same time, I feel like it's something that would really bring them joy in their twilight years.  And, knowing how much effort they put into me, I feel like I should at least give them some security that their progeny will continue for another generation.

However, the question of whether or not I desire kids is completely different from the question of whether or not I want kids.  I know almost exactly what you mean, Zangi.  The idea of that much responsibility, quite frankly, terrifies me.  Of course, this is balanced by the terror of dying cold and alone.  I'm afraid I'll end up like my dad, who rarely ever socializes or even leaves the house; his family is his connection to the world, and basically what keeps him going from day to day.  There's other things that tip the balance towards the "no child" side too, though I'd prefer not to mention them.

However, really, I try to not think too much on this.  I'm going to be terrified no matter what I choose to do.  And plus, there are more important things to do.  First, a wife and a career with an annual salary.  Then a house (not a big one, but a house).  Only then should I start really worrying about kids.  Of course, that thought doesn't stop me...
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DJ

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Re: Parents or Childfree?
« Reply #81 on: January 25, 2012, 04:14:46 pm »

People who don't want children should note that there's 0 people who answered that they regret having children.
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Siquo

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Re: Parents or Childfree?
« Reply #82 on: January 25, 2012, 04:15:31 pm »

Oh and if you want to appear really obnoxious, give parenting advice to others.

I caught myself doing it the other day, and apologised immediately as soon as I noticed what I was doing.
And tip #2 for all of you who think you're not "parent material", and those of you who think they know how everyone should be parenting: Everyone Is Doing It Wrong.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Parents or Childfree?
« Reply #83 on: January 25, 2012, 04:16:22 pm »

People who don't want children should note that there's 0 people who answered that they regret having children.

And people should keep in mind that most of the people who voted against probably didn't base their thoughts on selfish ideas of personal happiness here :|

Telgin

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Re: Parents or Childfree?
« Reply #84 on: January 25, 2012, 05:20:53 pm »

People who don't want children should note that there's 0 people who answered that they regret having children.

I suspect that if I did actually have kids, I wouldn't actually regret it.  I also don't regret buying two new 21.5" monitors for my computer, but I languished over that decision for months because I didn't need them.  My old 17" CRT worked just peachy.

I'm just that kind of person.  I guess I just don't see the need for kids.  I'm perfectly content with my existing family, although I'm only 24, so maybe I'll feel different in a few years?

And I sort of doubt too many people would actually put down that they regretted having kids, even if they felt that way.  :P
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Parents or Childfree?
« Reply #85 on: January 25, 2012, 05:43:13 pm »

And I sort of doubt too many people would actually put down that they regretted having kids, even if they felt that way.  :P
Indeed. I left the option nonetheless, but the social and biological pressures to love that you have children are some of the strongest there are.
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alway

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Re: Parents or Childfree?
« Reply #86 on: January 25, 2012, 08:49:31 pm »

From what I recall from a study on happiness discussed here:
1. Those with children tend to have higher self-reported life satisfaction (how happy do you feel about your life?)
2. Those with children tend to have a lower self-reported moment-to-moment happiness (how happy do you feel today? yesterday? and so on)
3. Those with a partner tend to self-report being happier
4. Money increases happiness, though it requires a relatively large income for moderately sized increases in self-reported happiness

It is in fact almost always true that they do not regret having children. That doesn't mean they wouldn't be happier without them, only that children make people happier all other things being equal. Again, it's a matter of opportunity costs and other factors which really comes down to variance on a case by case basis.
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Lysabild

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Re: Parents or Childfree?
« Reply #87 on: January 25, 2012, 09:43:09 pm »

Any less than 3 and I'll feel I'm failing my legacy, but being bisexual with a preference for guys aswell as being 20 without a job and nowhere near an education I'm scared it might become too late. Not to mention the depression and lack of being attractive. I'd also love to adopt, though I'd feel terrible as an old fuck feeling my blood dies with me, no matter how much I'd love them and feel they'd be my family.

Guess I'll just hope for the chance, maybe even hope to someday end up in the perfect polygamous relationship with a man and a woman.

Will also never understand people who willingly say no for selfish reasons, but being a patriotic socialist with neo-tribalistic and other bizarre cultural opinions I'm rather used to not understanding most of the world.
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Parents or Childfree?
« Reply #88 on: January 25, 2012, 09:56:55 pm »

Any less than 3 and I'll feel I'm failing my legacy, but being bisexual with a preference for guys aswell as being 20 without a job and nowhere near an education I'm scared it might become too late.
What is this legacy you speak of?
Quote
Will also never understand people who willingly say no for selfish reasons, but being a patriotic socialist with neo-tribalistic and other bizarre cultural opinions I'm rather used to not understanding most of the world.
It's not that hard to understand. The overall cost of raising a child to 18 in the US is usually over a hundred thousand dollars, if not over two hundred thousand. That is a lot of money I could be spending on things I care about instead of children.
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To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
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Nilocy

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Re: Parents or Childfree?
« Reply #89 on: January 25, 2012, 10:05:20 pm »

I'm not in favour of having children myself, but if it comes to it I think I'd happily adopt children.
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