@Sockman or to whomever he is (didn't read anyone elses, went straight to this.):
Before you think that about what just happened, remember yourself before you knew any of that. You were- are, a person who was completely loyal to the person you believed in. You completely cared for that person, and did what was truly right. You moved to great heights to help another person, and in that moment, you did it just because you knew it was right.
Tell me, you are still alive right? Stupid question, yes, but you are. Your life is not ruined as long as you draw breath, you can still act. It is hard at first, just like many things are, but keep to the goal to fix your life-- move along. Put away the thought about your failure for a moment and ponder this: Everyone makes stupid decisions and you aren't alone in that. It's just, we are all ashamed of what we err in that we try to keep it back, to not be judged by others.
But see now, you have the courage to post all that to relative strangers. You did something there, no matter how small it is.
You sought help.
Now, I seem to just be giving nebulous and cliche'd advice to you, moral advice and such, but believe me when I say that I'm saying this fully in truth, no flattery or anything. I'm not condemning you or anything, just sharing what I think may help.
Back on topic, the pain is real. The emotional, physical and mental pain is real.
But pain heals in time, you may hit yourself for what you did now and the hurt may feel like forever, but look ahead. Just take part of your time off to look ahead to the future, you did not give up on her that time; will you give up on yourself now?
You did not get nothing for everything, your life is not ruined because you learned something. Yes, the emotional, physical and mental pain is there; but you also, still are. You overcame your own feelings of suicide. That must mean something right?
Whatever I say here, is just my opinion. If you find any fault in it, throw it away. Just...don't close your mind towards others, as well as to yourself.
If you let what happened change you, then it will. Everything you've done in your life has your choice as the last vote. Some people may be abusive, judgemental jerks; that doesn't mean you are. If you let them change you, then you've lost yourself.
In the end, it is your choice in your life that matters; not hers, not others, Yours.
Remember this, as long as you live, do not give up. Life may be a pain in the neck at times, but there will always be hope.
Do not give up hope.
Do not give up.
You are not anyone else but yourself. You have the last say on your actions.