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Author Topic: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___  (Read 314167 times)

Emma

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1530 on: November 07, 2015, 05:50:59 pm »

I remember writing a story based off a character in Eragon... not sure what age I was.
I wrote something about pies and the universe. It's mostly rambling so read and/or review at your own risk.

Spoiler: Pies and the Universe (click to show/hide)

Just because you read it at your own risk doesn't mean that you can't read it.
See inside spoiler for suggested punctuation corrections.

Actual content wise? It feels to me like it's trying too hard to be whimsical, especially with "what if our universe has already been eaten?" part.
Thank you for the comments Giglamesh. I feel like trying to hard is going to be something I struggle with, especially since it's something I do in real life as well. Apart from that could you explain, in a simpletons terms, what a run on sentence is? I don't fully understand what it is. And on a related note, does anyone have any good resources for learning grammar and punctuation?
Simply put... hmmm.
A run on sentence is when you use a comma when you really should have used a full stop.

Lets take one of your sentences from earlier:
That thing isn't matter though, it's dark matter, and when you bite into a pie you never really know what the gravy is made out of, and we humans don't really understand dark matter yet.

This is a run-on sentence. It would be better split into multiple sentences, a la:
That thing isn't matter, though, it's dark matter. When you bite into a pie you never really know what the gravy is made out of, and we humans don't really understand dark matter yet.

http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/words/grammar-tips might be helpful.

Despite my fondness for writing, I never studied English at a high level, so I'm not sure how to explain things well.

Also, by God, man, if your pies are nothing but gravy and gristle you need to buy better pies. Or fruit pies.
But the gristle is the best bit! And thanks for the link I'll have to bookmark it and read through it.
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TD1

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1531 on: November 07, 2015, 07:02:08 pm »

Actually, may use that for something. I'm sure you're all grief stricken to see it go :P
« Last Edit: November 07, 2015, 07:07:27 pm by Th4DwArfY1 »
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GiglameshDespair

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1532 on: November 10, 2015, 01:20:58 pm »

I'll be honest, I'm tempted to ressurect the writing competition.
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Arx

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1533 on: November 10, 2015, 01:22:37 pm »

I'll be honest, I'm tempted to ressurect the writing competition.

Doo eet.
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itisnotlogical

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1534 on: November 22, 2015, 01:25:02 pm »

I'm writing some bullshit, reminiscing about my experience with video games throughout the years until the present day. I plan to make short Youtube videos out of them, making each section a separate video with footage of the game I'm writing about in that section.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I feel like it's really boring and uninteresting, though. :/

I'm mostly doing it for myself and the joy of reminiscing, but is this interesting to anybody else? Or is it just rambling nonsense?
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Arx

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1535 on: November 22, 2015, 01:40:41 pm »

It's probably more interesting to you, but it's engaging and fluid enough that I read all the way through it. So, not cardboard.
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GiglameshDespair

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1536 on: November 22, 2015, 02:27:07 pm »

I'm writing some bullshit, reminiscing about my experience with video games throughout the years until the present day. I plan to make short Youtube videos out of them, making each section a separate video with footage of the game I'm writing about in that section.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I feel like it's really boring and uninteresting, though. :/

I'm mostly doing it for myself and the joy of reminiscing, but is this interesting to anybody else? Or is it just rambling nonsense?

I think you could do without having every third sentence be a new paragraph.

While personally I don't find it overly interesting, as seen above, opinions vary. Keep writing it.
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Digital Hellhound

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1537 on: November 29, 2015, 03:13:05 pm »

I'll be honest, I'm tempted to ressurect the writing competition.

Doo eet.

So any progress on this? :D

We could start throwing prompts around too again. It's always nice to see many different interpretations of a few random words or phrases.
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GiglameshDespair

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1538 on: November 29, 2015, 03:50:42 pm »

Gigla's Writing Competition
-Prepare your keyboard-

Since people seem interested, have a writing competition.

Standard disclaimer, it's pretty subjective, no need for salt, yadda yadda.


You have two weeks - that is until the 13th of December - to post a story based on the two prompts below.
You can only submit one story to the competition, but until the deadline you can change it as much as you like. Just post it in this thread.


Prompts:

Spoiler: 1 (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: 2 (click to show/hide)


Howzat, guys?
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Twinwolf

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1539 on: November 29, 2015, 03:52:02 pm »

Both prompts or just one?
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GiglameshDespair

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1540 on: November 29, 2015, 03:53:26 pm »

Either or.

Base it on one or both, I don't mind.
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TD1

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1541 on: November 30, 2015, 05:34:55 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I'll write something for the prompt soon, just had to write my daily therapeutic piece.
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GiglameshDespair

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1542 on: November 30, 2015, 06:51:01 pm »

Incidentally, I'd appreciate people saying if they're entering the competition.
Not mandatory, of course, but it'd be nice to be able to ballpark the figure.


Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I'll write something for the prompt soon, just had to write my daily therapeutic piece.

Magaphone?
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TD1

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1543 on: November 30, 2015, 07:01:41 pm »

"Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world." - C.S. Lewis

He goes on to say "the sculptor's blows which hurt us so" are what shape us, IIRC.
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GiglameshDespair

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #1544 on: November 30, 2015, 07:05:39 pm »

You wrote magaphone. I was wondering whether that was intentional.

To be honest, I wouldn't say it's your best poem. It feels kind of messy somehow. Maybe it's a whole bunch of classical references but I'm missing them, so for most of it it's just random sentences strapped together to me.
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