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Author Topic: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___  (Read 314046 times)

Arx

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #840 on: August 16, 2014, 02:36:27 pm »

On that prose note...

Maybe cut back on the line breaks a little? It could just be my preference, but I was a little put off by the number of paragraphs. Otherwise, apart from a few small oddities that would I think be solved by a specific proofreading, nice and solid. I want to know more!

Quote
Space Australians- I like the piece, it reminds me of what I've done before in some ways, and while I'm not sure what universe it's from (It sounds like an existing one, but I'm not exactly sure.) Also, I can't really tell if the main character is supposed to be an immortal or not- that part of the passage is fairly vague.

It's in the same setting as all the other writing I've done over the last year, so there are some things that I don't elaborate on that I maybe should. As for the immortal part, she's not. She's meant to be speaking fairly hyperbolically after she steps out, and I was trying to think of another way to say eternity/forever. I'll look at revising it to be less ambiguous.
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I am on Discord as Arx#2415.
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Doomblade187

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #841 on: August 17, 2014, 11:03:36 pm »

Maybe cut back on the line breaks a little? It could just be my preference, but I was a little put off by the number of paragraphs. Otherwise, apart from a few small oddities that would I think be solved by a specific proofreading, nice and solid. I want to know more!

Hm. The line breaks look a lot less plentiful in Q10/Word. Go figure. I blame the larger text size. Thanks for the encouragement.
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In any case it would be a battle of critical thinking and I refuse to fight an unarmed individual.
One mustn't stare into the pathos, lest one become Pathos.

Arx

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #842 on: August 19, 2014, 03:17:21 pm »

And another piece, in which Thirteen is mildly horrified by what she's doing.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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I am on Discord as Arx#2415.
Hail to the mind of man! / Fire in the sky
I've been waiting for you / On this day we die.

mastahcheese

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #843 on: August 21, 2014, 01:28:07 pm »

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Might as well chalk it up to Pathos.
As this point we might as well invoke interpretive dance and call it a day.
The Derail Thread

Doomblade187

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #844 on: August 22, 2014, 10:01:03 pm »

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In any case it would be a battle of critical thinking and I refuse to fight an unarmed individual.
One mustn't stare into the pathos, lest one become Pathos.

mastahcheese

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #845 on: August 23, 2014, 02:22:58 pm »

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Might as well chalk it up to Pathos.
As this point we might as well invoke interpretive dance and call it a day.
The Derail Thread

IronTomato

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #846 on: August 24, 2014, 12:00:01 am »

Does this thread take questions?

Here's what I've been thinking. I want to create an SCP. I like being funny more than anything, which is why I never take writing seriously, even though I still have some skill with it, if I can get past the initial brainstorming phase. It is for this reason that I thought about creating a joke SCP at first.

Eventually, I decided that I'd attempt to create an SCP which would be interesting and mildly creepy to everyone else, just like an SCP should be. But at the same time, it would be amusing to myself, and other people who would understand the inside joke - the cryptic source that it would be based on. A group that few people will actually know about, except for those who are a part of it.

Yeah, that's right, I'm planning on making an SCP based on the Bay 12 Forums. Has it been done, should it be done?
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hops

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #847 on: August 24, 2014, 05:41:52 am »

One comment: The SCP irc will say that is very stupid and you should not write it, but they're judgmental elitist douchebags so fuck 'em.
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Doomblade187

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #848 on: August 25, 2014, 11:57:37 pm »


So, I wrote this piece while listening to this amazing album and no other songs, often writing to the music and the stories I and others have put to it, kind of as an experiment. (I wrote much of it to the 'Dis' tracks on the above-mentioned album, so a lot of influence there.) I've noticed a bit of editing, but I'll pass on it for now. I almost included dialogue, but it didn't didn't seem to fit, so I didn't.
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In any case it would be a battle of critical thinking and I refuse to fight an unarmed individual.
One mustn't stare into the pathos, lest one become Pathos.

mastahcheese

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #849 on: August 26, 2014, 08:10:24 am »

I've randomly decided to start wring a short story. Naturally, I thought the best place to keep it (since I'm prone to losing things) is by posting it to Bay12 in bits and pieces as I write it. Sorry for any misspellings or whatnot.

Spoiler: First fragment (click to show/hide)
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Oh look, I have a steam account.
Might as well chalk it up to Pathos.
As this point we might as well invoke interpretive dance and call it a day.
The Derail Thread

mastahcheese

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #850 on: August 29, 2014, 07:58:14 am »

Spoiler: Second fragment (click to show/hide)
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Oh look, I have a steam account.
Might as well chalk it up to Pathos.
As this point we might as well invoke interpretive dance and call it a day.
The Derail Thread

mastahcheese

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #851 on: September 05, 2014, 08:08:09 am »

Spoiler: Third fragment (click to show/hide)

If anyone wants to offer any opinions or critisisms or anything, I'd appreciate that, so I can get better at this. :>
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Oh look, I have a steam account.
Might as well chalk it up to Pathos.
As this point we might as well invoke interpretive dance and call it a day.
The Derail Thread

Worldmaster27

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #852 on: September 05, 2014, 04:59:25 pm »

Sound advice:

MMMOOOOOOOORRRRREE

You're an awesome writer, I'm enjoying this story of yours.
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mastahcheese

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #853 on: September 05, 2014, 05:07:46 pm »

You're an awesome writer, I'm enjoying this story of yours.
:D Thank you!
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Oh look, I have a steam account.
Might as well chalk it up to Pathos.
As this point we might as well invoke interpretive dance and call it a day.
The Derail Thread

adwarf

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #854 on: September 06, 2014, 12:49:28 am »

Spoiler: The Name 'Vald' (click to show/hide)

Here's a probably terrible short story I had lying around half done, and decided to finish today.
« Last Edit: September 06, 2014, 01:04:36 am by adwarf »
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