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Author Topic: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___  (Read 312836 times)

mastahcheese

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #825 on: August 07, 2014, 11:15:48 am »

:(

That made me sad. Very well done.
Remind me not to write poetry when I'm having mood swings.

This is what happens.

I make goblins cry.
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Might as well chalk it up to Pathos.
As this point we might as well invoke interpretive dance and call it a day.
The Derail Thread

Tiruin

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #826 on: August 07, 2014, 11:39:19 am »

I cried a lot there MC.
You are a great poet.
Haven't had my emotions run me through in...a month post-[STUFF] happening.
Thanks for that.
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TD1

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #827 on: August 07, 2014, 11:40:50 am »

 :(

No poem has ever made me cry before.
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  TD1 has claimed the title of Penblessed the Endless Fountain of Epics!
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Poetry Thread

mastahcheese

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #828 on: August 07, 2014, 11:44:34 am »

...Thank you guys.
It means a lot.
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Might as well chalk it up to Pathos.
As this point we might as well invoke interpretive dance and call it a day.
The Derail Thread

Arx

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #829 on: August 07, 2014, 11:46:30 am »

You write really good poetry, mastah. In case you hadn't worked it out already.  :P
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Digital Hellhound

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #830 on: August 07, 2014, 01:11:46 pm »

I love the structure of this poem. The right-hand left-hand split gives it a very unique/cool/interesting feel. Also like the repeating of 'Oh,'-sentences and the sort of 'collapsing' ending, with the bits becoming ever shorter, simpler, etc. Very well done, really.

(As you can see, I've forgotten all the terms of English poem analysis.)
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hops

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #831 on: August 08, 2014, 06:53:59 pm »

It made me feel bad about not feeling bad, at any rate.
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GiglameshDespair

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #832 on: August 09, 2014, 05:15:46 am »

Some of the rhyming felt really forced to me, MC,  and the language used seemed to vary a bit schizophrenically. Personally, I would say I'm not a fan of it, though I doubt mine would be much better  :P
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mastahcheese

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #833 on: August 10, 2014, 04:24:46 pm »

Well.
I've spent today debating on whether or not to post this.

Why not.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Good night, Bay12.
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Might as well chalk it up to Pathos.
As this point we might as well invoke interpretive dance and call it a day.
The Derail Thread

Anvilfolk

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #834 on: August 11, 2014, 10:38:07 am »

Geez, mastah...

That was intense...

And also really good.

TD1

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #835 on: August 11, 2014, 10:47:07 am »

Wowza.

That's some...intense and...perhaps unhealthy feeling, Mastah.

You really need to resolve things there, for better or worse, because you shouldn't have to live through what you're feeling.
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  TD1 has claimed the title of Penblessed the Endless Fountain of Epics!
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Poetry Thread

mastahcheese

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #836 on: August 11, 2014, 10:54:28 am »

Wowza.

That's some...intense and...perhaps unhealthy feeling, Mastah.

You really need to resolve things there, for better or worse, because you shouldn't have to live through what you're feeling.
Well, I don't live with my real family anymore, so...
Yeah.

It's a process.
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Oh look, I have a steam account.
Might as well chalk it up to Pathos.
As this point we might as well invoke interpretive dance and call it a day.
The Derail Thread

Doomblade187

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #837 on: August 14, 2014, 10:27:14 am »

Wowza.

That's some...intense and...perhaps unhealthy feeling, Mastah.

You really need to resolve things there, for better or worse, because you shouldn't have to live through what you're feeling.
Well, I don't live with my real family anymore, so...
Yeah.

It's a process.
Well, glad to hear that much if the poem is any indication. I might toss something up soon.

I felt the poem was really well done and compelling, for the record- any possible 'mistakes' were erased by the passion of the poem.
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Arx

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #838 on: August 15, 2014, 02:52:55 pm »

To add some prose to the thread, have some stuff about Space Australians*.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

As always, any and all criticism requested and appreciated.

*Well, it's a space penal colony. Same thing, right?
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Doomblade187

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Re: ___/The Writer's Apprenticeship\___
« Reply #839 on: August 16, 2014, 08:43:40 am »

On that prose note...


Feedback is welcome. I did very little editing, and while I'm not entirely happy with the execution of the piece, I like the feel and the general ideas behind it- this is a world-building piece, in a way.

Space Australians- I like the piece, it reminds me of what I've done before in some ways, and while I'm not sure what universe it's from (It sounds like an existing one, but I'm not exactly sure.) Also, I can't really tell if the main character is supposed to be an immortal or not- that part of the passage is fairly vague.
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In any case it would be a battle of critical thinking and I refuse to fight an unarmed individual.
One mustn't stare into the pathos, lest one become Pathos.
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