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[Ifeno]

The following post is a part of an omited/skipped turn.  It has been posted here for the sake of having a complete archive of all updates.

After killing the people ignoring the burrow restrictions, a frogman invasion has gotten in through the water supply, after the preivous leader flooded the fortress. hold on while i try to salvage the fortress.

[Ifeno]

The following post is a part of an omited/skipped turn.  It has been posted here for the sake of having a complete archive of all updates.

Huh. They left but not without murdering the squad i sent after them and left around thirty tantruming dwarfs. I think you should go on to the next person and skip me.

[Ifeno]

The following post is a part of an omited/skipped turn.  It has been posted here for the sake of having a complete archive of all updates.

It was 2 weeks ago I was told to head out to an outpost, to manage it. Manage it, I was told. I slipped in between a siege of Tigermen.
fucking Tigermen. Now excuse me, but in the right arsed mountain homes we've never even heard of Tigermen, let alone seen one. I was chased by about 15 of them just getting in the door.


Armok save me, I can only hope they die easier then Goblins. I walk in and the first fucking thing to greet me is 2 Forgotten Beasts, which the denizens claim are 'taken care of' and a Minotaur in a cage.

Did I mention we have NO militia?





Also, Miasma. What the fuck.


I did some light perusing around and saw that the Fort was a goddamn mess. Unused levers in the middle of nowhere, and by the looks of it one of the previous overseers was trying to pump magma into the fort, I can tell you that as soon as these 'Tigermen' are delt with (likely just some beast-loving humans with a fetish for blood), I'm putting a stop to that shit, and might replace the stray Grizzly Bear at the entrance with whomsoever is responsible.

Oh yes, the entrance seems about as useful at stopping enemies as my 140 year old Grand mother. Maybe I can weaponise the Forgotten Beasts.. I need a drink.

(OOC: once I kill these Tigermen I might carve out a new fortress... which overseers trap was it to make THIS mess?)

Ohhh no, let me correct myself, while inspecting the caverns I found a THIRD FUCKING FORGOTTEN BEAST. This mess will kill me.



Just for amusements sake, heres a picture of a fucking T-Rex in a box;



------------------------


Haven't unpaused for more then a minute to see how things are panning out, barred the front door. Its my birthday today so I'll be out all night, I'll make actual headway tomorrow.


And as for the T-Rex in a box, YES it is a T-Rex. A massive Theropod. A suborder of dinosaurs with cuddly and Fun beasts such as the Tyrannosaurus Rex



and the Spinosaurus.



So we have one of those. In a box.

[Ifeno]

The following post is a part of an omited/skipped turn.  It has been posted here for the sake of having a complete archive of all updates.

Now that I've finished surverying this hellhole, I can report my findings. There are about 5 workshops, 1 memorial hall, 2 dining halls, 3 locked up fell beasts, and a minotaur in a cage. In a cage. Perhaps the only real accomplishment of this massive hovel.

The barracks have the ungodly smelling tannery located directly in the middle of it, and the food stockpiles overlap into it. Not to mention the farm sitting right next to it. I need to bring some order to this place, I immediately take the position of manager and order that decent workshops are carved out, and proper stockpiles are created. What a mess, but perhaps better then carving out an entirely new fortress.. for now.



I've also ordered that many levers be disassembled, as Armok knows that some insanity is linked to them. In other news, scouts report that the Tigermen have been busy standing in one place fondling the pet bear that came with them. And then, just as I'm thinking of how best I can deal with the Tigermen...



Well, maybe he'll make something worthwhile, as all great moods inspire...



Better then a floodgate, I suppose. As of now, I'm trying to formulate the best plan of action for the fact that our military is wandering around with their peckers hanging out of their tattered pants. We have plenty of iron bars from the magma smelters, but theres no magma, which probably has something to do with the T-Rex in a box for all I know, who I'm beginning to take a liking to.

[Ifeno]

The untimely death of Demonic Spoon we are without a leader. keeping with the finest of dwarven traditions, we all put our names in a cap and some random shluck will pick one out to decide our new leader. the crowd is silent as the name is drawn.

"AND THE NEXT OVERSEER OF TOUCHEDBELLS IS.....KOMRA DORENSOLON"

Huzzah for Komra! our new overseer! shouts of "long live Komra" and "Thank Armok it wasn't me!" rang out accross the dining hall as everyone started clebrating, and it took a minute for what the announcer said to sink in.

Komra Dorensolon....Komra Dorensolon....that's me....fuck.


1st Granite

well this is my first offical day as overseer, and i've been instructed by ImBocaire, the only pervious overseer still alive in this place, to keep a log of my events here. well i've been buried in my work since i've arrived here so let's see what i have to work with.

No sooner had i stepped out of my bedroom when a paniced meatalworker rushed up to me screaming "THE VOLCANO'S DRAINING!" i told him to show me, and we wound up in a veiwing area carved into the side of the magma pipe. looking down i could see that the level of lava was dropping rapidly, but where could it possibly be going?

my thoughts turned at once to the death traps set by previous overseers and feared that the fortress might be slowly filling with the blood of Armok. i rushed trough each level of the fortress proper, thankfully none showed any signs of a magma breach. though this comes as a double edged sword, since our magma forges are now 6 levels (and counting) above the surface of the magma and we have no idea how far down the tube breach is, or even where it's draining to.

i've dispated scouts in the mines to see if the magma is rising up from below us.

2nd Granite

now that i am assured that even the lowest of our mines is free of magma i can concentrate on the rest of the fortress. i went to our bookkeeper and looked over the records.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

it appears that we're overflowing with food and drink, and have yet to organize even a basic milita, relying solely on a starving war bear and a couple traps for defence.

i've told the cooks and farmers to tkae a well deserved break and marked the area of the future barracks ot be excavated. As i strolled through the storage rooms i was astounded at the sheer amount of glass pipes, corkscrews, hatches and blocks that had been constructed, their intended purpose probably died along with one of the previous overseers, i'm still unsure of what to do with them all.

there are many unlabled levers around, i've ordered them all to remain untouched, who knows what disaster we might bring upon ourselves. there is also a large network of tunnels with shafts leading to the surface, each shaft is topped with a hatch... i wonder what these could be used for...

6th Granite

By Armoks blood soaked beard! the workforce is a complete disaster! we only have 2 miners in the entire fort and we're overflowing with crafters and farmers!

after interviewing every dwarf to see what they're good at, i've taken it upon myself to reorganize the labor pool... may Armok have mercy on me.

8th Granite

urhg... my head is pounding and my wrist is aching but the labor force is organized! and we even have enough dwarves left to form a small militia!

i'm having the newly formed squad the "Problematic Portals" train constantly in the new barracks. our chief mechanic... well our only mechanic, came to me today and told me things about a "danger room" and how if it was constructed, our militia would be battle worthy by the end of the year! the only stumbling block is that it requires training spears, which would use all of our remaining wood supply and then some. until we get a caravan with wood, or the Tigermen leave, it'll have to wait.

28th Granite

the fortress is running smoothly, not much to report. the Tigermen are still camped at the top of the mountain, they sure are a stubborn lot.

11th Slate

i awoke this morning to cries of "FLOOD!" i leaped out of bed, and dashed towards the commotion, several floodgates in the stockpile area have opened! Water is rushing in from everywhere! we're doomed! and just as suddenly as it started, it stopped. the floodgates slammed shut and we were left with several large puddles on the floor. i've ordered the masons to wall off the floodgates before they open again. and mark my words journal, i may not know who set this up, but i know of a way to make sure they are repaid in full.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

OOC: i did get to the end of spring but then DF crashed on me 
and can i use DF liquids to plug the leaky up/down staircase. all that moving magma is playing hell on my FPS. that room looks like a drain anyways, with iron bridges which are probably connected to a lever.

[Ifeno]

20th Slate

The floodgates have opened twice more since i ordered them sealed, if i could find the trigger i would destroy it, but i don't even know where to start looking for it.

24th Slate

all the containment walls are complete, operation "REVENGE" is well underway. and it seems that my earlier observations about the magma pipe were incorrect and it is indeed filling faster than it is draining. we should have magma at our forges by the end of summer.

5th Felsite

Construction of operation REVENGE is 75% complete. i've had the miners excavate a shorter route to the dining area and have marked out plans for my private suite, which resides next to the Kennels. I let Aban Anamdodok, my fiancee, design our burial chamber. she says that i can't look untill it's completed. i'm sure she'll do a good job.

13 Felsite

Lookouts on the wind farm have informed me that Frogmen have come to reinforce the Tigermen! well fuckberries, it looks like we won't be leaving our hole anytime soon...

the mayor came to me today in a rage, she was furious about the state of her quarters, or lack of... i've marked a small area to be cleared and furnished to the mayor's likings, after i get my suite of course.

i've also ordered the metalsmiths make some real weapons, and the crafters to make some bone armor for our militia, i know the armor isn't great, but it's better than nothing.

20th Felsite

Urgh, i'm fed up with these stupid frogmen! time to fiddle with a few levers... may armok help us. hmmm, many of these levers don't seem to be connected to anything at all... Finally! a lever that dose something! i listened to the grating of the mechanisms and when one of the militia came running to me with news of the drawbridge lowering i thanked armok silently for guiding my hand.

22nd Felsite

another runner from the militia came to me today and told me that our junior mechanic has gone outside! they said he was talking about finishing some long overdue linkage. i ran up to the wind farms as fast as my legs would carry me, and i watched everything unfold.

then mechanic ran wildly, and trapped herself above the entrance, one of the frogmen caught up to her and stabbed her twice with a spear before it became stuck in her gut! the mechanic howled in pain and vomited as the frogman knocked her to the ground and started biting, punching and kicking the poor mechanic until the spear came loose. the junior mechanic, lay broken and bleeding on the ground, eying her adversary with a mixed look of fear and hatred, she issued a low growl and spat in the frogman's face, seconds before the copper spear was sent through her skull.

i've ordered everyone else to stay inside, and let them face the might of our starving war bear!

23rd Felsite

we heard the dying roars of our starving war bear, if they can so easily down such a ferocious beast, then what hope dose our militia possibly stand against them? i've had the outer door of the barracks locked and the drawbridge raised, i underestimated our enemies, and have paid the price.

25th Felsite

it turns out that our weapon trap has killed two to the frogmen, we salvaged their spears and shields for our militia. i've commissioned 11 more weapons traps constructed, each filled with serrated glass disks. when we reopen our gates, the frogmen won't know what hit them.

26th Felsite

One of the fort's children has been inspired by recent events and has taken a craftsdwarves workshop! no soon did he take the workshop did he start working furiously on his great creation.. i just hope he makes something useful.

1st Hematite

the summer heat is beginning to set in, i've told the lookouts to drink plenty of booze and to take shorter shifts.

The starving war bear has been replaced by a Starving Cougar.

3rd Hematitie

Our child prodigy has emerged from the workshop raising a gleaming white object for all to see



hmm, not very impressive, but i'm sure one of the militia will find a use for it.

10th Hematite

with our meager wood supplies exhausted i've allowed the woodcutters to clear cut a small portion of the caverns.

22nd Hematite

due to excessive complaints about getting toes squished, the hallway leading to the barracks has been widened, and a temporary access tunnel has been dug to speed the weapon trap construction.

12 Malachite

our militia is now armed and armored with the finest iron equipment we can produce! at least they now have a slim chance of beating the frog men if they get through our traps.

20th Malachite

all the weapon traps are operational! i'm having the masons reseal the access tunnel and open the gates! Victory is in our grasp!

22st Malachite

The gate was opened today, and from my vantage point i watched as the foolish creatures charged headlong towards their doom. their leader was up front riding a war tiger, she entered the hall, and never came back out. the rest of the group lost all faith in the attack after witnessing their leader getting dismembered and fled. Victory... but i was hoping for a few more frogmen bodies to show for it.

26th Malachite

Migrants! as soon as the word reached the common area ImBocaire told me that it is my duty as overseer to greet each of them and assign them labors. fuckberries, more paperwork...

seven, seven more mouths to feed. the only notable one in the group was a surgeon who also had considerable military experience, i'm torn as to where to put her.

well they may be mostly useless, but at least the Problematic Portals has a full compliment of recruits now.

the miners have also dug a staircase up to the plateau above our entrance and have secured all the staircases with hatches. i'll let someone else figure out what to do with it, i've been away from my gems for far too long.

5th Galena

HUZZAH! THREE CHEERS FOR THE SCOUTS! the tunnel scouts have identified where the magma is draining from, we're digging a water channel to it's location, with hopes of sealing it with an obsidian plug.

7th Galena

THEM DAMN DIRTY APES! some monkeys stormed the entrance today, to be promptly cut into tiny chunks by our traps

15th Galena

The Beak Wolves are back! All civilians stay inside! the lookouts said that they came from over the mountain, and that they brought their war leader with them!

then there came more cries "BEAK WOLVES TO THE WEST" "MORE TO THE SOUTH" "ANOTHER GROUP SPOTTED ON THE MOUNTAIN!" the lookouts counted five squads of the fouls beasts approaching. i think it's time the militia had some live training.

17th Galena

A THOUSAND CURSES! the greater badgermen have come to aid the beak dogs with their attack! at least there's only a single squad, and by the report's i'm getting, they are rather poorly equipped. the militia may still be able to handle this, though i  think i'll tell them to let the traps take care of a few first.

18th Galena

BY ARMOKS BLOODY BEARD! WHAT THE FUCK!? a three squads of Tigerman Calvary has joined the assault. and they've brought war Leopards! the militia will be hard pressed to hold back this many foes.

20 Galena

The beak wolves and war leopards have jammed most of out traps, i've ordered the entrance bridge to be raised and lowered repeatedly.

21st Galena

It's working! every time the bridge lowers i can hear screams and a crunchy splatting sound. there's a few less for the boys in iron to worry about!

i've just gotten word from the lookouts that the badgermen are setting camp and refuse to advance. looks like we're going to have to go to them.

25th Galena

The bridge was stopped and the militia charged out to meet the remaining Tigermen, Beak Wolves, and Greater Badgermen. they've got a tough fight ahead of them.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

there's another squad of Tigermen Calvary off screen, this will be a tough fight.

[Ifeno]

OOC: sorry in advance for no pics of the epic battle, i was so busy writing i forgot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AN AMBUSH OF GOBLIN PIKEMEN HAVE BEEN SPOTTED BY THE ENTRANCE! i wonder how many other civilizations would like to attack us at this particular time..

<Unknown Date>

as the dwarves barreled out of the narrow hallway the tigermen, who were taken completely by surprise, turned and fled. that just leaves the goblins, a fair fight, we outnumber them 2 to 1.

No! one of our boys has been slain! and several others have nasty wounds, though the goblins have taken some heavy hits as well, two of them are bleeding out with severed limbs strewn everywhere, while the other three only have light wounds.

A SECOND GOBLIN AMBUSH! AND THEY'VE BROUGHT BOWMEN! i shouted down for the militia to retreat back to the barracks, knowing exactly what would become of them if they didn't.

WHAT! instead of retreating as ordered, our militia commander has decided to charge the goblin bowmen!it was truly an amazing sight, each arrow that flew his way was effortlessly sidestepped, and the goblins  were awestruck by his grace, but he didn't stop to engage the archers, he simple ran right trough them and proceeded towards the badgermen... WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE THINK HE"S DOING!

meanwhile one of the militia has fallen unconscious, is surrounded by beak wolves and is quickly turning into a pincushion, WHY WON'T YOU GUYS HELP YOUR SQUAD MATE! finally, with arrows sticking out of every visible part of his body, the poor recruit died from a lucky shot to the skull. his death will not be in vein.

our wayward militia commander has finally realized that engaging an army of badgermen alone is not a good idea and is running back to engage the archers!

i can't belie it... after drawing some fire from the marksmen he and receiving a couple minor hits, the militia commander ran back towards the badgermen! it looks like the goblins are out of ammo, at least our lone swordsdwarf stands a chance now.

there's now only two of our militia left outside, a swordsdwarf, who is heavily wounded and engaging the entire goblin ambush on her own, and our crazy militia commander, who is fighting a Beak wolf and a badgerman. the swordsdwarf is running towards the militia commander! maybe together they can break the goblin's moral! it was beautiful journal, the two of them standing back to back, surrounded by goblins, they exchanged som blows, nothing substantial when they both took off in separate directions!

the swordsdawrf has run north, towards the badgerman camp, while the militia commander ran south, both attempting to make it back to the safety of the fort. the goblins chased the swordsdwarf into the bardgerman camp. she is surrounded, there is no hope for her. i watched as a goblin cleaved her right hand off at the wrist, taking her weapon with it. as her wounds mounted she became more and more desperate. with a sudden surge of strength she bolted from the melee and headed towards the fortress! she almost made it. almost.

with less than 50 urists to go she suddenly spun around and charged the her goblin pursuers! something strange happened then, her movements became less frantic, more coordinated, she seemed to shrug off any blow that landed on her. i've heard of these displays of might before, i think they are referred to as "martial trances".

just as quickly as it started, it was over, her moments became more erratic, trying frantically to swat aside the incoming attacks from all angles. if only she had kept running. wait a minute! she's broken free again! she might just make it! PREPARE TO RAISE THE DRAWBRIDGE! *sigh* why must our kind be so stupid? a simple right turn would have taken her to the safety of the fortress, instead she turned left.

I can't believe it! she's actually going to make it! seeing as their prey was much harder to kill than anticipated, the goblins gave up the chase, the swordsdwarf used this lull in the fighting to make a beeline to our gates. all that stood in her way now was a lone beak wolf. she then did something truly astounding, she bit the beakwolf in the tail, shook it around 'till it shattered and then proceeded to kick the unfortunate creature to death.

and what's that coming out of our gate? CIVILIANS!? i thought i told everyone to stay inside! Imbocaire and one of our glassmakers are running around on the surface now. i'll keep the gate open for the as long as i can.

NOOO! Imbocaire has run straight into the badgerman camp, He's surrounded! OH DEAR ARMOK! they're tearing him to bits! from my perch on the wind farms we could clearly hear Imbocaire's screams of agony as the badgermen mercilessly slaughtered him. Thankfully the galssmaker was able to outrun the badgerman chasing her and made it safely inside. the bridge has been raised.

7th Limestone

We failed. yes we broke the frogmen and tigremen siege. even routed the goblins, but the badgermen still persist, and as long as they are camped there, no caravans will even consider coming to trade with us. not that we can do anything about it anyways, 3 out of 4 of our remaining militia are bedridden in the hospital, awaiting treatment.

Many dwarves are unhappy with the sudden loss of so many of their kin, i fear that a riot is not far away. to commend their bravery over the past 10 days each surviving soldier is getting their own tomb, save for the lone recruit who slept though the whole thing. and it seems that in the midst of all the chaos of battle a child was born!

10th Limestone

Success! the magma leak has been sealed! the tube should fill at a much faster rate now. the doctors have spotted infection on our bedridden dwarfs! i've set up an ashery and soapers workshop, i hope we can get a few bars made in time.

26th Limestone

One of our Blacksmiths has Claimed an forge and is uttering nonsense! i fear that she has become possessed by one of the spirits of the recently departed.

3rd Sandstone

today the Blacksmith started shaping the materials she gathered into... something... all we can get out of her is "Siberk Ritharustuth", her own name.

7th Sandstone

Siberk came out of the forge today, exhausted and drenched with sweat, holding up an iron bed and shouting SIBERK RITHARUSTUH!". when we finally coaxed her into putting the bed down i went to work examining it.



What!? no menacing spikes!? though i do enjoy the image of the gem harp, it really never gets old. and i know just where to put it. unfortunately she has learned nothing from this experience and remains merely Accomplished at her work.

9th Sandstone

the magma level has surpassed our forge area, i'm opening the floodgate to begin filling the forge channel.

22nd Sandstone

Poor Sibrek has been complaining for weeks now that she's too injured to pick up her equipment. it's starting to irritate that doctors, and the last thing you want when you have wounded dwarves is a pissed off doctor. i've removed her from military duty, with the promise that she'll return once she's healthy.

27th Sandstone

we've started some exploratory digging in search of more ore to smelt, whe shall need it shortly when our magma furnaces are powered up.

1st Timber

the magma forges are sparking to life! but since the magma level in the channel is still fluctuating, we only get intermittent power. or so i'm told from the metalworkers.

11th Timber

the metalworkers have informed me that the magma channel has reached high enough levels to sustain all of our forges and furnaces.

16th Timber



fuckberries.

Great News! the lookouts say that the Ettin arrived near the Badgerman camp and they started attacking each other! if we're lucky, both out problems will be solved.

i can't believe it! those badgermen are leaving! well, we've traded a horde of badgermen for a single Ettin... i'm not sure which one i prefer...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

@ Imbocaire, looks like you spoke a bit too soon 

don't worry, i'm sure i'll get what's coming to me

[Ifeno]

20th Timber

the sounds of shattering glass and snapping logs echoed off the mountain today, as our friendly neighborhood Ettin went about destroying hatches and windmills.

28th Timber

the lookouts swear that they've seen a ghostly dwarven soldier floating around the entrance. they've identified it as the forlorn spirit of Iden Degellesast, an axedwarf. i'm having a memorial slab carved as i write.

1st Moonstone

the winds of winter are blowing again, and thanks to the badgermen, not a single caravan even attempted to trade with us, we are truly on our own out here.

our mayor came to me today, he was downright furious. he screamed at me "IF YOU SHALL NOT FURNISH MY ROOM THEN I SHALL DO SO MYSELF!"

fuck, i knew i had forgotten to do something.

he then slapped a piece of parchment on my workbench, scattering gemstones everywhere, and stormed out of my workroom. i curiously picked up the parchment, on it, written in massive, blocky letters, was this message:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I MANDATE THAT TWO GREEN GLASS ITEMS BE CONSTRUCTED! NON-COMPLIANCE IS PUNISHABLE BY SEVERE BEATINGS!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

well... easy enough, i've set our glassmakers to making all the furnishings that a mayor could possibly want.
the door to Imbocaire's suite has been locked, it shall be saved for someone who is truly deserving of it's glory.

2nd Moonstone

Another ghost has been spotted! this one was identified as Vabok Rigothag, who was one of the newest members of the militia before his death.

and the Ettin has been spotted running towards our entrance! she's in the hall of death!! the noise of a hundred saw blades spinning could be heard from anywhere in the fortress proper. when everything was quiet again i rushed to the entrance barracks, carefully unlocked the door and crept around the corner. DEAD! THE BEAST IS DEAD! EVERYONE PREPARE TO COLLECT THE CORPSES OF YOUR COMRADES!

15th Moonstone

all the fallen have been laid to rest, and most of their possessions have been collected. i've had the mechanics link the green glass bridge at our entrance to the blue lever in the dining hall. now we can easily isolate hostiles squads and butcher them without the risk of our soldiers running wildly over the countryside. i've also put an outdoor trade depot here, and roofed over the enclosure. the depot and roof are, of course made from the finest green glass blocks available.

in other news, Aban has informed me that our tomb is complete! she blindfolded me and led me down to the burail hallway.

suddenly, we stopped.

"You can take off your blindfold now honey"

we were standing in front on a magnificent lay pewter door!

"open the door sweetie"

as i entered i was astounded by the sheer size of out final resting place. fully smoothed and engraved, with five statues that i decorated myself adorning the walls, and many bags places along the diagonal sections to store our personal belongings. in the center are two golden sarcophagi, and surrounding them are our magnificent pillars.

this picture i drew can never fully encompass it's beauty.



needless to say, my future wife doesn't like to be second best.

22nd Moonstone

my sweetheart had another burst of inspiration toady and added some windows and a glass door between the pillars in our tomb.

also, the mayor has finally received his quarters. and has made another production mandate. Ungrateful bastard.

20th Opal

i have finally convinced Aban that our tomb will be the crowning jewel of Touchedbells for many years to come. any more additions, and our grand burial chamber would be no more than an overcrowded junk room.

AND WILL SOMEONE TELL SIGUN TO SHUT THE HELL UP! she's been trying to grab her right mitten out in the field ever since she got out of bed, only to realize that she no longer has a right hand.

also, the magma channel has reached peak capacity, i've ordered the channel floodgate closed to prevent the magma from flowing back into the volcano.

1st Obsidian

Migrants have been spotted cresting the mountain. damn, more paperwork and less time cutting and setting gems..

eight, eight more useless migrants. seven of them have been drafted into the militia and told to suit up and start training. the last migrant was only spared from military service due to the squad being full. at least they brought a couple of grazers we could slaughter.

15th Obsidian

A snatcher was caught in our cage trap today. i'm sealing the outer bridge to ward off the ambush that is sure to follow. the fort isn't ready to lose another six good soldiers.

16th Obsidian

Another possessed dwarf has claimed a workshop and is gathering materials! it seems that the dwarf in question is a woodcrafter... nothing good can come of this.

Sigun has been permanently retired from the militia. if she can't even pick up a glove, how can she hope to wield a sword in battle?

20th Obsidian

I have been informed that the vast majority of the dwarves in the fortress want me to step down. something about killing too many dwarves for no gain. it seems that if i don't do so by the new year they will feed me to the "T-Rex in a box".

against my better judgement, i have decided to stay in office until the last possible moment. The device MUST be activated.

at least they are still letting me pick my successor.

21st Obsidian

Urist McPossessedDwarf has started constructing something! with all those materials going into it, this better be one badass trinket.

25th Obsidian

our woodcrafter has finished her construction! a wooden scepter...



 well the only thing keeping this piece of junk form being chucked in the volcano is that it depicts our queen's rise to power... and the picture of the gem harp didn't hurt either.

28th Obsidian

as the angry mob has demanded, i am stepping down. tonight, at the stroke of midnight, i shall pick the next overseer.

little do they know that i had just enough time to activate THE DEVICE.

1st Granite

HA! you should have seen the looks on their faces! at midnight i threw a single fire opal into the crowd. one unlucky slob picked it up and exclaimed "It's MINE!". i quickly ran up to him and congratulated him on becoming the next overseer, then i ran off to my workshop. i'm still here, cutting and placing gems. and here i shall stay.

OOC:
here's the save file CLICK HERE

[Ifeno]

1st Granite
So, apparently this fire opal represents leadership.

All right, then--


WHAT THE SPORE JUST HAPPENED

(Welp that was fast.)

[Ifeno]

Any chance I can get dorfed if there are any left?
I wanted to play but I'm moving house this month so wont have time but I like reading it and wouldnt mind having a little GrizzleBridges running around in there, a cook or engraver if possible

(( I powered through this in one session without checking the thread, so you'll have to ask whoever comes next. ))

2nd Granite
oh armok it's flooding the fort as well

wait, i can just lock the doors. problem solved.

9th Granite
Right. So. We need to drain that room so we can bury our dead properly.


Not... actually sure that's the best draining method, to be honest.

18th Granite
No exporting socks, by order of the mayor.

17th Slate
I found some retracted spikes misplaced in one of the main halls. Well, it probably wasn't a main hall at the time.

Regardless, I've ordered them removed so they can be used more usefully.

20th Slate
Speaking of spikes, I just realized I ordered wooden menacing spikes when what I actually wanted was wooden training spears. Oops. Let's get that fixed right quick. Don't want any accidents, do we?

27th Slate
Ooh, migrants! 17 of them.

28th Slate
And an ambush! Not cool.

15th Felsite
So, uh

our military was not up to snuff

and as such we basically lost the entire wave of migrants

also they followed it up with a siege

which is just now happening

fyi
jsyk

26th Felsite
This probably isn't the best time for a weaver to be taken by a mood.

12th Hematite
Well, I've come up with a brilliant siege-breaking idea.


Make the enemy forces run through several dozen cage traps!

And just in case that isn't enough...


Anyone who gets through that will have to go through here. Pressure plates and hatches will make sure they stay in that little area, and our marksdwarves will be able to pick them off at their leisure.

17th Hematite
The weaver has completed her artifact!


That's... interesting?

10th Malachite
Actually, I think I'll have a handful of weapon traps in there as well.

24th Malachite
An ettin has arrived. Can it avoid traps? No? Then I don't much care right now.

15th Galena
Another siege has shown up.

You know, in case we weren't under enough pressure or something.

3rd Limestone
So, uh, I've determined that the flood in the old main hall is still being fed from an aquifer I didn't know we had.

Which means my chosen method of de-flooding is doomed to failure.

So, new plan! Block up the leak with a cave-in, then drain the water off the map with pumps.

14th Sandstone
A steam blob has arrived. Cause, you know, that's menacing.

I'd have left the thing alone, but it tried to break in, so we had to kill it.

5th Timber
The gauntlet is complete, and I want a zoo. Let's tear down the wall keeping the siege out.

The goblins are already gone, and they were the only ones I was really worried about anyway.

19th Timber
We broke the siege, but then an ambush.

Also a caravan but the ambush is the hard part.

18th Moonstone
A mason is taken by a mood.

23rd Moonstone
We're to be made a barony. And I'm the baron.

Huh.

1st Opal
To celebrate the new month, that mason finished the artifact!


It's... very abstract.

1st Obsidian
9 migrants have arrived, despite the danger. 5 of them seem to have military experience, so I immediately draft them into the crossbow squad which I made ages ago and never put any dwarves in.

8th Obsidian
By baronial mandate, I require the creation of three ballista parts.

Coincidentally, I'm the only siege engineer in the fort. Heh heh heh.

14th Obsidian
A siege. Tigermen.

19th Obsidian
And the goblins are ambushing us as well!

... They're not working together, though, which makes things a little easier for us.

24th Obsidian
(This entry is written in a different hand.)
Due to circumstances beyond our control, leadership of the fort has been passed on a few days ahead of schedule.

And personally, I'm a bit worried for the safety of the fort. She didn't write them in her official journal, but the baroness's personal diary makes reference to two "secret plans" to "show them! show them all! bwa ha ha ha!"

Whoever next takes control, I hope you find both secret plans, before they do something disastrous.

(( In addition to my secret plans, I built a siege battery a bit northeast of the main entrance, a mist generator, and a danger room. As for why I ended my turn slightly early... you may want to check up on the dwarf I named after myself.

I made 'N'otes of everything my levers do. These notes contain no false information whatsoever, because my plan goes off just fine if I tell the truth.

Here's the save. Good luck. ))

[Ifeno]

Early Spring


Was the first word I heard when I stepped into this bizarre outpost of a fort.


A squad of tigermen stood camping outside the gates, their crude copper flails and maces stained red with things I'd rather not think of.

From the description my supervisor gave me, it seemed like a pretty nice place.
A fair number of trees and workable lumber, a hunt-worthy quantity of wildlife, weather that was possibly a tad chilly, but more than made up for by the nearby volcano and the endless supplies of free magma.

But this…
Sieges,


Bloody entrance hallways,


A giant swimming pool that I can’t make heads or tails of,

And most atrociously,


One of those artificial weak willed and unconditional TRAINING rooms?
(they're too cheap for how easy they are to set up)

Well at least it shouldn’t get any worse,
right?

[Ifeno]

Early-Mid Spring

Though a combined arms force of goblins and catmen have come knocking at our doors, luckily for me, the previous fort overseers have set up a decent number of defensive traps to hold off any would be invader.
The slightly brighter goblins and catmen do nothing but camp outside.
Though the fort is besieged, it is safe, for now.


A particular point of interest I’ve noticed in this fort is the large number of windmills hanging above the volcano mouth.
Using my all seeing fort overseer powers, I see that the big huge windmill plant is connected to what appears to be a small scale magma pump reaching a bit ways down into the volcano. If I could get the pump to work, it seemed as if I might be able to flood the nearby vicinity of the fort with a nice hot siege cleansing bath. The only thing stopping the pumps from working was a disengaged gear assembly, which meant that all I had to do was to find the correct lever.


Well this could take awhile…


In other news, a dwarf who went by the name “billybobfred” apparently did something deserving of “punishment” and now has his corpse serving as a morbid decoration in the food stockpiles.



-------

Because nobody ever bothered to label any of the levers, I might just spend most of my time pulling them one at a time and figuring out what each one does.

[Ifeno]

not exactly an update post, but...

1. Most of the levers are duds (haven't gone through them all though, so I'm a bit cautious).
2. It's already mid spring in my turn and I have yet to see any "secret plan" traps activated.
3. To Billybobfred, I can't find the levers which you've labeled.
As a matter of fact, pretty much all of the levers in the entire fort are un-labeled.

[Ifeno]

Mid Summer

After doing an exhaustive amount of search and pull work, I have concluded that most of the levers in the fort appear to do nothing (or at least nothing significantly interesting enough to make them worthwhile of keeping around).

I did however find one lever capable of draining the volcano.



But as fun as it is to watch, there are other things that I need to attend to.

Hmm...
Reorganizing the industries...
Restocking the brewable plant supplies...
Ordering the smoothing of the hallway walls...
Satisfying the whims of my noble underlings...
Ornamenting the statue rooms...
Resetting the entrance traps...

And all the other boring stuff.

Sigh...

It's rather quiet around here.
Too quiet almost.
Where are the catmen and goblins?
As fearsome as they seemed in the beginning, they did alleviate the boredom from all of the fortress overseer paperwork...

And what do you know?
An uninvited guest has apparently come.


He casually makes his way up to the fort, playfully knocking over a line of green glass statues on the way.

(why anyone even bothered to place statues in the cavern befuddles me.)

I call to arms the militia of the fort.


And wait outside the door with breath held, shields shined, and weapons ready as the humanoid beast slowly breaks through the last remaining splinters of that ol' wooden barricade.

[Ifeno]

Dangerous as that forgotten beast seemed at first, the military took care of it with ease.



A nearby craftsdwarf happened to get caught in the fray and was gored to death by the creature, but a nearby marksdwarf managed to pummel the creature into submission with his bismuth bronze crossbow before he got out of hand.



I was expecting there to be more of a fight, but at least it was interesting to watch.

-----

Late Summer

Oh my armok…



What in the world just happened?

One moment ago, all the animals were in their cages, nice and safe from the extremities of the outside world.
Next thing I know, I hear a loud *CREEEEAAAAAK* followed by the chaotic cries of dwarves and animals as 16 cages simultaneously open themselves.

Beak wolf hunters (they look like giant ugly wingless birds), goblins, rhesus macaques, and a massive minotaur all come stampeding about in the zoo now gone crazy.

A trio of dwarves also happened to be inside on break and the moment they sensed something wrong, they dashed behind the nearest door and locked it behind themselves.



Unfortunately, one of the dwarves must have been a bit too slow since before she managed to reach the safety of the other room, she found herself flying as an angry 800 pound bull-man hybrid collided with the poor girl.



Luckily, the minotaur decided that the beak wolf hunters and goblins were more interesting than chasing after a couple of booze beards, and so the zoo then engaged in a most spectacular free-for-all brawl.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Though the beak wolf hunters were many, the minotaur flung them aside one at a time like chickens.

A goblin crossbowman feeling that the commotion was invading his personal space decided to take a potshot at the giant bull creature, but missed and only alerted the Minotaur of his presence.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Needless to say, massive death via  ({giant cave spider silk sock}) ensued.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(no really, the combat reports go on for at least 7-8 pages with the exact same lines.

...



Fearing that the minotaur would become too powerful from all of his easy kills, I sent the military to finish him off.
One of the soldiers slashes off the minotaur’s left arm and sends it flying.



The now bleeding minotaur tries to run off, but only meets a miserable end as another soldier kicks him in the head and ends his miserable life.


 
And it was all because I just happened to pull that extra lever right by the training room...

Absolutely ridiculous.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

yes I am aware that I'm going a bit slow, but now that its the weekends, I should be able to get most of the remaining year done.