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[Ifeno]

22nd Hematite

MORE of them?!



Well, it shouldn't be too bad. How many of them are there this time...?

Nine of them.

One of them calls himself a clothier, despite his manifest listing him as a rather talented diagnostician. Perhaps there is hope for me someday escaping this damned bed after all.

At any rate, we are now up to a population of fifty-two. If the mountainhomes are merciful, they will wait before sending more.

They brought along a lot of animals. I say it's time to make more meat.



___________________

5th Malachite

A child was seized by another burst of inspiration today. God forbid one of the useful dwarves be inspired to create something worth making.



14th Malachite

The child gathered some puppy bones and then began screaming that he wanted some yarn, dammit. I'm... not sure we can get any yarn for him. Just in case of the worst, I have put a door, lockable from the outside, at the entrance to the workshop he took over.



17th Malachite

Apparently my worry was needless. The child scrounged some yarn cloth up from God knows where and began his project.



Your guess is as good as mine as to how he plans on using these materials.



21st Malachite



The child emerged with a triumphant smile on his face, clutching an amulet apparently made of dog bone. I immediately studied it, as there was an image in exceedingly minute detail carved into its face.



Now THAT'S a bit of history I didn't know about this place. Apparently good old Crazy Cow is not the Mountainhomes-appointed leader of our little band at all!

Maybe he planned on spearing all the witnesses to his usurpation.

[Ifeno]

15th Galena

...So soon?!



What... what ARE those things?!





More importantly... what do they want from us? We have nothing of value, we have no reason to be attacked! And perhaps the most important part... we have no defenses save a lone starving war dog.



It pains me to do this, but I suppose I have no choice. I shall order the doors sealed and the entrance walled off until we can deal with the beak wolf menace.

Actually, it pains me not at all to do this. Eat it, useless migrants.

[Ifeno]

20th Galena

...I am flabbergasted. I am amazed, and above all, I am just plain WHAT THE FUCK, MAN.

That dog SINGLEHANDEDLY broke the siege.

The beaked wolf-things were cut off of entryways into the fortress, after a near disaster where I missed a second entrance leading directly into the farms. Deprived of their sport, they attempted to kill the lone dog chained at the main entrance.

With snarls and bites, the dog drove them off.

Despite the fact that none of the beak wolves were killed, they fled gibbering into the hills.

This dog is one to watch.

[Ifeno]

1st Limestone

The seasons have changed yet again.



Outpacing all my expectations, the miners finished both the bedroom expansion and the new dining room by this date.





With that done, there shall be none to stop me from my ultimate evil plan!

My plan to...



CREATE EXTREMELY ELABORATE CHAMBERS FOR MYSELF MUHUHUHAHAHAHA

*hem*

Right. Anyway, I doubt I can handle this for more than another half year. Some other whippersnapper will have to take over come spring.

And yes, I'm well aware that elaborate chambers are utterly useless to a man who's already bedridden and unable to be moved. That's besides the point.

[Ifeno]

9th Sandstone
Autumn began uneventfully. My opulent quarters were dug out, smoothed, and furnished; engraving continues at the moment. Now if only I could limp down there to see them. I'm tired of resting in this drafty statue garden when everyone around me has their own rooms.

It was not until over a month had passed that something noteworthy happened. A beekeeper, one Ustuth Deglokum, had a sudden shift in personality and began obsessing over something called Aralenkos.

He booted the craftsdwarf out of his workshop, gathered some conglomerate, leather, and bone, and began a mysterious construction.
So far, par for the course. My only question is... seriously? Conglomerate? The only uglier stone that exists is puddingstone. Even microcline would be preferable to conglomerate, the color and texture of a seriously nasty bowel movement.

Ah well. I may as well see what he makes.

13th Sandstone

More migrants. I may just have to drown myself in dwarven wine.

18th Sandstone



The beekeeper emerged from the workshop in a daze clutching an amulet the color of excrement. Apparently he named it "Womantook," a name I can only associate with sexual dysfunction of some kind. Maybe he can't get laid because he keeps making conglomerate amulets or something.



22nd Sandstone

I have recieved word that my chambers have been totally engraved and furnished.



Even though I cannot occupy them... it makes me feel proud just to know I own them.



Still, I feel uneasy. I know my time left here is brief... sooner or later they will forget about me, sooner or later I will no longer be given food or forced to drink disgusting flavorless water. Soon I shall starve to death, or die of thirst, and even if it is in ten years, I will never be able to so much as occupy the chambers I ordered built to my specifications. They shall simply molder.

I intend on resigning come spring. Therefore, I wish to make a decree while I still hold authority. Let no one break this decree until this fortress crumbles to dust.

The magnificent chambers on the bedroom level, consisting of a throne room, a bedroom, and a private dining room, shall belong to whomsoever holds authority in this fortress, for however long that authority lasts. Upon ceding said authority to a new person, these rooms shall also be ceded to said new person.

In addition, each authority-holder should dig his own grave, as a reminder of his mortality and a caution against hubris. Obviously I can't do any digging myself, but I shall at least order a tomb dug for myself and for Crazy Cow.


I envision that new tombs shall be dug along this hallway for each overseer. Hopefully, in a few years, the hallway shall no longer resemble a cock'n'balls.

16th Timber

A caravan showed up today. Hopefully we can get some new seeds... we have no pig tails, and our booze variety is suffering as a result. I swear, I will throttle whoever thought bringing dimple cup spawn was a good idea.




At my urging, and also a little blackmail (it's amazing what uncovering a fortress-wide mass-murder attempt can do to let you influence a person), Crazy Cow ordered wood from the liason. Loads of wood.



On the trading front, I asked the broker what he thought the best goods to trade were. He pointed wordlessly at our food stockpile. Come to think of it...





All the traders look like they haven't eaten in months. They were watching our well-fed, rather portly dwarves





with a mixture of envy and contempt, and a few of them were actually drooling at the smells coming from the kitchen. And indeed, they were willing to pay outrageous premiums for good food, which we had in abundance.




We managed to purchase a large amount of essential goods; many logs, bins of leather and silk cloth, the needed seeds to get our booze operations running again, and of course more food (which of course the caravan couldn't have eaten themselves... these were trade goods! There's be bureaucratic hell back at the Mountainhomes if so much as one dragonfly brain was unaccounted for!) to be processed by our cook, who I must really think about giving a promotion. The caravan also took our gift of *donkey tallow roast*s and devoured them standing, crying tears of joy.


_________
1st Moonstone

And with that, autumn gives way to winter. My time here is drawing to a close, and I begin to think about the legacy I might leave this fort. I think that I have succeeded in making our fort a pleasant place to live... the chatter I hear from my horrid rest-bed is generally positive.





Nobody has died on my watch, which I am truly thankful for. Of course, three months of winter still loom... I should not grow complacent.

OOC: Crazy Cow, do you have any preferences for how you want your tomb decorated? Mine's all done, but yours is pretty much a blank slate so far since I don't know what you would prefer in or out of character.

[Ifeno]

5th Opal

I have been told that my tomb, as well as Crazycow's have been completed, decorated, and furnished. Good. At least if I cannot live with dignity, I can at least have some modicum of distinction in death.



My tomb, on the left side of the hallway, is engraved on floor, wall, and ceiling with images of our fortress's founding. I was also told of one image which I am not quite sure what to make of.



Is this a "political cartoon" of some kind? I must admit, I am perplexed. My tomb also includes four gem windows; I have always found their gentle scintillations to be soothing.

Crazy Cow's tomb is engraved on the walls and lined with statues.

At any rate, I have also expanded the bedroom complex and have ordered the creation of beds for the new rooms.

Not two minutes after the messenger told me about the tombs, I recieved another message.



Little Zon is sure to grow up to be quite the dwarf, given his already-impressive full beard.



Please, CrazyCow, don't spear this one to death.

15th Opal

Enough is enough, I say. It's time to put the underutilized skills of some of this fortress to use. Specifically, we need a medical system. More specifically, I NEED MEDICAL ATTENTION.

Paging through the manifests, it seems that there are in fact many dwarves with untapped skill for medicine. Our clothier is in fact an excellent diagnostician; he shall be the new Chief Medical Dwarf and Diagnostician. A woodcutter has remarkably nimble hands and skill with thread; he is now the Stitchsmith. Two peasants have a remarkably soothing manner and skill with cleaning and dressing wounds; they are now Bandagesmiths. Finally, a wax-worker has a rudimentary knowledge of healing fractures and setting bones; he is now the Bonesmith. The hospital shall be dug out momentarily.

I may have a nice damn tomb, but I don't intend on going there before I absolutely have to.

27th Opal

The hospital is complete. It has been dug out one level below the bedrooms. With any luck I'll be moved down there and given at least a crutch so I can leave this damned bed.



23rd Obsidian



With 7 days left in my overseership, Crazy Cow's husband enters a fey mood. I understand, Etur... anything to escape the screaming baby and the old ball'n'chain, eh?

He's a mechanic, so this should be interesting.

29th Obsidian
He began his construction today. The mechanic, I mean.

I don't care. Tomorrow I retire. Tomorrow I return to being a useless cripple...
or not!



As soon as the chief medical dwarf was appointed in Opal, he took one look at me, rummaged through the stockpiles, and handed me a crutch. It's taken me this long to get confident enough in it to go fetch my things and take them to my room.

Of course, thanks to my earlier decree, I move in with exactly one night before I get booted out again. Still, I suppose one night won't hurt.

In celebration, I have shed my earlier title in favor of a new one. Turns out I'm GOOD at walking.




The mechanic is making something out of dacite, gold, and three kinds of leather. If it doesn't have an image of my jubilant return to the ranks of the mobile on it, heads will roll. Or they would, if I had any power here anymore.

I won't lie; I engaged in a bit of mischief. Nothing near as deadly as hidden spikes in the hallway, though. Hopefully the next overseer won't begrudge me a bit of fun.

So ends the career of Udib 'ImBocaire' Aniteb, metalsmith, overseer, and professional Goddamn walker.


OOC: Notes for Next Overseer

Currently the only booze we have is dwarven wine. Hopefully that will change; I set up two new plots to start growing cave wheat, sweet pods, and pig tails, and bought the relevant seeds from the caravan.

The bedroom complex and dining room are on the same floor; it wasn't clear in any of the screenshots I took. I'd put a map on the map archive, but, well, it might spoil my trap (which isn't really all that bad).

Feel free to keep expanding the bedroom complex; the carpenter is set to make beds on repeat, and I'd do that each time a caravan with wood arrives. We've got more prepared food than we would ever be able to eat, so don't be shy about donating it to caravans.

I realized halfway through winter that I had turned invasions off for my personal fort and forgotten to turn them back on for this. Your turns might be a bit more hectic because of this, although if a single war dog can still drive off an entire siege, I think we'll be fine.

There's an aquifer on half of  the first floor, and it extends downward somewhat, so I'd be wary of digging too haphazardly.

That's all. I had a lot of fun on this fort, and I hope my updates were enjoyable.

Save: http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4742

[Ifeno]

So it has fallen to me, the glorious Demonic Spoon to improve this fortress into something worthy of my presence!

After a tour of the premises it becomes clear that I will have my work cut out for me. A dire lack of workshops or other facilities and general sad state of the fortress and defenses shall be first on my agenda. As such I ordered some cage traps placed on most of our entrances, with the second aboveground entrance being entirely sealed. I have also ordered block made because what kind of dwarf construct things with raw stone?

...may Armok have mercy on our souls.



Did I mention that we have no military?

[Ifeno]

Titan Captured!



Dwarven Casualties: 1
Rhesus Macaque Casualties: 1
Titans Captured: 1
Titans Killed: 0

[Ifeno]

...



Time for Operation Catch the "Uncatchable" Part II

[Ifeno]

And a vile force of darkness has arrived. Screw this I'm sealing us in.

Despite some minor setbacks we have caught the forgotten beast.

Forgotten Beast caught!



Dwarven Casualties: 2
Puppy Casualties: 2
Forgotten Beasts Captured: 1
Forgotten Beasts Killed: 0

[Ifeno]

Don't worry CC, Armok has given you your revenge.



EDIT: Slight flaw in initial design, delaying completion.

[Ifeno]

The Save

Forgotten Beasts Captured: 3
Titans Captured: 1
Semi-Megabeasts Captured: 1
Current Status: Sieged

[Ifeno]

The following post is a part of an omited/skipped turn.  It has been posted here for the sake of having a complete archive of all updates.

Throughout the course of the following two turns a lot of pictures and asides where posted on the original thread.  I highly encourage you to find the original thread and read those in order to get the full effect and enjoyment of the thread.  They start on page 14.

It is cold. Cold as hell.

I pause as my dwarven guards continue on, to look at the fortress i will spend my next year at.

The lack of movement allows the cold to seep through, and I shudder and curse at it.

As I continue on, I remember losing the game of goblin hold em that led me to be here. I curse the dwarven king and his unnatural card playing skill, and I duck down to enter the fortress, my head scraping the top of the tunnel. I am greeted by the dwarfs, who seem annoyed by my presences, not unreasonable, as I am the leader of a few human towns. As they fill me in on the fortress, it becomes apparent that the previous leaders were either murderous, or just insane. After hearing about the dwarfs, I lean towards the latter.

[Ifeno]

The following post is a part of an omited/skipped turn.  It has been posted here for the sake of having a complete archive of all updates.

...How kind of other Leaders to not lable the leavers. Anyway, as I walk in, a dwarf runs in shouting that we are under seige by white tigermen. I order a wall built between the fortress and the grizzly bear. Also, it appears someone left some food rotting in the corner in the depot.

Edit: can someone give me a quick rundown on how to post pictures?

[Ifeno]

The following post is a part of an omited/skipped turn.  It has been posted here for the sake of having a complete archive of all updates.

After setting up some weapon traps, I bring down the bridge.

The tigermen charge the starving bear in the hall, he wounds two before falling.

a Legendary miner wanders out, and breaks the seige by majorly wounding every tigermen. Seeing this, it is a wonder why they do not wipe out this race entirely.

Also, I have began to keep this diary, in the case that the dwarves see fit to have me have an "accident". In other news, I have have no will to end my life before its time, so I dare not touch any of the levers. Instead, I build my own.