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[Loud Whispers]

<sup>Basically, this thread is about the stupid things in life that you or others have done. And when I mean stupid, I mean stupid that borders on "if it doesn't kill you..." and "if I can do it, I should."

Also, if it's about someone else, make sure you have their permission. We don't want hurt feelings here. Just stupidity >:|

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________</sup>


So here's my stupid.

I have a high pain threshold. The result of lots of painful, PAINFULLY PAINFUL things having happened to me over the ages. One of my friends had a bright idea that I should prove to him that my punching skills are unrivaled, by punching a wall. It was covered with some sort of signboard... And I have unusually dense knuckles.

!!ARG WHY DOES IT NOT HURT!!

You can imagine the rest.

Pulled a hamstring in my left finger, and as we speak it still hurts like crap. But I left a dent in the signboard. Totally won my stupid.

-----------

Oh wait, 6 knuckles. Good times.

"I fought the wall, and the wall won."

Spoiler: Quotes of marvellous victory (click to show/hide)

Dear god, how are any of us still alive?

Because if we die, we will no longer be able to amuse the gods with our antics in the mortal realm.

One time, I decided to ambush my brother and sister with a fire extinguisher. We were 12 (me), 10 and 9 at the time. I laughed, they got my parents, and I cleaned it all up. After earning a two week grounding, my sister tackled me and held me down while my brother lit my hair on fire.

Good times.

He'd been curious about his dad's razor and found out it worked really well.

I accidently electrocuted my crotch with a partially broken cable. I always make sure I dry my hands before itching myself ANYWHERE when holding something electric, now.

Dropped it between my legs and almost removed myself from the gene-pool. Left a neat circular hole in my trousers and underwear.

[Darvi]

Should I write an autobiography or something?

[Loud Whispers]

Should I write an autobiography or something?

You really shouldn't, but the internets says yesh

[RedKing]

This is the one that still makes my wife shake her head and wonder how I made it adulthood:

So when I was about 12 or so, me and a buddy decided to rebuild his treehouse. To start, we wanted to rip out the boards that made a wall between two trees down on the first level. But why simply rip out the boards with a crowbar or claw hammer when you can make demolition itself more entertaining?

We found a toppled-over clothesline pole. A big sturdy metal one with a square pole about 3 inches on each side. A perfect (if somewhat skinny) battering ram. We would CHARGE the wall into submission! And how lucky for us that it was at the bottom of a slope!

So we lugged the pole to the top of the slope and got into position, him in front and me in the back. And down we went with a hearty "CHAAAARGE!"

...about two seconds before impact, I realized that carrying the hollow end of a large metal pole directly in front of my stomach was probably a bad idea, given the way physics work with that whole inertia thing. I tried to yank the pole over beside me -- like my more intelligent friend up front -- and got about halfway before impact. Cue a young RedKing hitting the end of that suddenly not-moving pole like a piece of meat on a shish kabob. Thankfully, I had gotten it over to the lower right portion of my rib cage, so instead of skewering myself I just punched a hole right through the clothing and flesh and stopping at the ribs.

Hung suspended in mid-air for a couple of seconds, then flopped off and rolled further down the hill for another 20 yards or so. Cue friend running down and asking, "Are you okay?" 

It healed pretty well considering we didn't go to the hospital or anything. I just have a small horizontal scar where the deepest part of the cut was. It was kinda freaky to peel my shirt off and see this perfect square sliced into me and see glints of white in the wound. 

[Ottofar]

I posted in a thread just to be on page one.

No, but I failed at relocating my Steam folder, broke some game files, and now need to download approximately 40GB of games, if I want to play them.

[Bauglir]

So our washing machine was broken one time, by which I mean water was spraying out the back of it and it was rocking back and forth really noisily and the whole thing was just one giant "Oh crap oh crap oh crap". I had the brilliant idea of unplugging it, thus giving pause to whatever horrible thing was about to happen. Now, an important thing to note, and one that I had overlooked in my plan, was that the outlet was directly behind the machine, exactly where the water was spraying. Another crucial fact is that our water is hard enough to conduct electricity PRETTY effectively.

BZZZZZRK. Fortunately, my hand vibrated strongly enough to pull the plug out of the outlet, and no lasting harm was done.

[Levi]

We had a junk shed with a bunch of pieces of wood and random junk in it as a kid.  Me and my brother found a bunch of big fluorescent lamp tubes.  We proceeded to have fun glass-shattery sword fights with them all.  Fun times!

[zchris13]

Had fun with a fountain pump, some 10-gallon water jugs, and some plastic tubing. Not to mention water EVERYWHERE, unplugging the fountain pump, my fingers slipped onto the prongs. BZZZAP. Buzzed like your mother's vibrator for a while. Good times.
Also posting to be on first page.

[Loud Whispers]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This is the one that still makes my wife shake her head and wonder how I made it adulthood:

So when I was about 12 or so, me and a buddy decided to rebuild his treehouse. To start, we wanted to rip out the boards that made a wall between two trees down on the first level. But why simply rip out the boards with a crowbar or claw hammer when you can make demolition itself more entertaining?

We found a toppled-over clothesline pole. A big sturdy metal one with a square pole about 3 inches on each side. A perfect (if somewhat skinny) battering ram. We would CHARGE the wall into submission! And how lucky for us that it was at the bottom of a slope!

So we lugged the pole to the top of the slope and got into position, him in front and me in the back. And down we went with a hearty "CHAAAARGE!"

...about two seconds before impact, I realized that carrying the hollow end of a large metal pole directly in front of my stomach was probably a bad idea, given the way physics work with that whole inertia thing. I tried to yank the pole over beside me -- like my more intelligent friend up front -- and got about halfway before impact. Cue a young RedKing hitting the end of that suddenly not-moving pole like a piece of meat on a shish kabob. Thankfully, I had gotten it over to the lower right portion of my rib cage, so instead of skewering myself I just punched a hole right through the clothing and flesh and stopping at the ribs.

Hung suspended in mid-air for a couple of seconds, then flopped off and rolled further down the hill for another 20 yards or so. Cue friend running down and asking, "Are you okay?" 

It healed pretty well considering we didn't go to the hospital or anything. I just have a small horizontal scar where the deepest part of the cut was. It was kinda freaky to peel my shirt off and see this perfect square sliced into me and see glints of white in the wound. 

Walls must have something against Bay12'ers

So our washing machine was broken one time, by which I mean water was spraying out the back of it and it was rocking back and forth really noisily and the whole thing was just one giant "Oh crap oh crap oh crap". I had the brilliant idea of unplugging it, thus giving pause to whatever horrible thing was about to happen. Now, an important thing to note, and one that I had overlooked in my plan, was that the outlet was directly behind the machine, exactly where the water was spraying. Another crucial fact is that our water is hard enough to conduct electricity PRETTY effectively.

BZZZZZRK. Fortunately, my hand vibrated strongly enough to pull the plug out of the outlet, and no lasting harm was done.

You unplugged it when it was on?   

[Bauglir]

You unplugged it when it was on?   

Yes, since the idea was to disconnect it from its power source, thus preventing it from continuing to draw water and be a fire hazard/just generally hazardous in general because seriously it sounded like it was going to explode (never did figure out what was wrong with it before we got a new one, though). In retrospect, the basket had probably just gotten so unbalanced that something bent, or something, because that would produce the rocking back and forth pretty effectively.

[TherosPherae]

When I was 10-ish, I found this one lamppost that would give you an electric shock when you touched it. After daring everyone around me to touch it and laughing when they jumped away when zapped, I got the bright idea to stand out there and see how long I could keep my hand on the pole.

I was out there for around an hour, even after it started raining. Couldn't move my hand for a bit after that.

[Flying Dice]

I recall a few from when I was much younger. Probably the worst was when I was over at a friend's house with a couple other people while their family was doing work on the electrical system, leaving a couple outlets exposed. So there were four of us, all boys age 10-11, with no supervision, exposed electrical sockets, and a pair of pliers. One of my friends bet me $5 that I wouldn't close the pliers on the contacts on either side of one of the exposed sockets. Hey, money is money, so I did it. I recall seeing a big spray of sparks, and quickly feeling thankful that I had decided to use a pair of pliers with rubber handles.

[DJ]

I jumped up and down on a landmine. It was an anti-tank mine with no fuse, and I weighed like 30kg at the time, so it wasn't actually dangerous, but still.

My friend wanted to take it apart to get to the delicious explosives inside, but luckily I was sensible enough to put a stop to that idea.

[RedKing]

Since we're talking about fun with electricity....

When I was in high school, I virtually lived in our TV/film lab my last two years. We had some high-end industrial-grade equipment in there for video editing and whatnot. Somebody was editing together a piece for our daily news program, and I was just watching over their shoulder and generally loitering. The big closed-circuit TV overhead (the kind all the classrooms have) was on (it was pretty much perpetually on), and I noticed that it hadn't been dusted since probably around the Nixon administration. So I just reached up with my hand to brush some of the dust off. Before my hand even reached the screen, all the hair on my arm was standing straight up and I could literally hear buzzing in the air. The Gauss field on that thing must have been off the charts.

I was like "Whoa, check it out-" and proceeded to start wiping the dust. It was popping and crackling as I touched it. I got one good swipe of my hand in, then BAMF--

There was a flash of light, an audible pop, and I felt (and others saw) an arc between my thigh and the editing equipment I was leaning over to reach the TV. The monitors went all static-y at the same time for a split second, and my leg went numb.

When we rolled back the tape they were working on, the static was actually part of the video now. We popped out the VHS cassette, rolled the tape by hand and found that when I did my best Thor impression there, it must have caused the write head to jump or overload or something, because the physical tape medium itself was slightly melted. 

Woohoo...weapons-grade static electricity!

[Korgus]

I once tried to make a lamp by attaching plug to a tiny little lightbulb. It exploded.