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[Stargrasper]

Weird things happen when you reincarnate the poor guy as many times as Bay12 has...

[Max White]

That is ok, he's full name to humans was "Cacame Apebalded the Immortal Onslaught"
Shit was pretty cash.

And yes we open the chest! What are you, an elf?

[Stargrasper]

That is ok, he's full name to humans was "Cacame Apebalded the Immortal Onslaught"
Shit was pretty cash.

And yes we open the chest! What are you, an elf?

No.  He's half-elf, half-dwarf.  The elf would never open it and the dwarf would never leave it...so...flip a coin?

[Darvi]

Smash it. Technically it ain't opening it.

[Aklyon]

Smash it. Technically it ain't opening it.

But carefully so the contents aren't ruined.

[Praecordia]

Cacame opens the chest and finds:

120 Coins
5 chunks of goblin meat.

Also, after leaving the village and buying supplies, Cacame is confronted by a man.



Defense or Power?

[Stargrasper]

I have to believe a guy named "The Immortal Onslaught" would choose Power...

[Max White]

We are dealing with the guy that made a living by slaughtering hundreds of he's own kind...

[Aklyon]

They've got a point.

[Darvi]

I would be all for indebting those guys to me by protecting them, but the above posters have a point.

[Praecordia]

Strong language, I guess?

 

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Have you ever heard of me? You should know what I would choose."
"I-Well-I just want-"
"Give me the sword."
"Y-yes sir."

Cacame has gotten the Monarch's Blade!


"Elf-King! Help!"
"What is the problem?"
"There's a man in the town square! He pushed me down and called me mean names!"
"..."
"Aren't you going to do something about it?"
"Oh, I'll do something about it, you lack-witted cur."


"What the- How could you!"
"Leave me. I'll have to take care of one who pushed you, for making my kingdom look like a group of like-minded retards."

Cacame wants his kingdom to be full of men who stab each other for fun.

[Praecordia]

Part 2 of the exciting "He's Bullying me!" saga comes after the images upload right now.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 Cacame decided that the bully would need to know how to man up.


So he showed him how to properly threaten someone.


As it turned out, he was more than a petty bully.


The bully puts up a strong resistance,


For a while, it even seems that the two are evenly matched.


However, Cacame decides to show him how to fight an actual battle.


The Elf-King dodges,


Strikes,


And almost manages to get a hit in.


And even though he knows a bit of swordplay,


Cacame has conquered thousands,


And this bandit isn't going to show him up.












With the bully neutralized, Cacame orders the Constable to take him to the stocks.




Where Cacame practices "Spitting for Distance"


Back at the castle, Cacame accidently looses his hold on his latent elven homosexuality.



Will Cacame be gay?

Y/N

Warning, Picspam of Cacame attacking a bully.

[Darvi]

I think his elfyness was showing there. Dick move, man.

[EuchreJack]

The question is not one of sexual preference, but rather monetary preference.  Go for the wealthy merchant, not the penniless bard!

Lull the merchant into a false sense of security, then kill her, just like in Dwarf Fortress!

[USEC_OFFICER]

The question is not one of sexual preference, but rather monetary preference.  Go for the wealthy merchant, not the penniless bard!

Lull the merchant into a false sense of security, then kill her, just like in Dwarf Fortress!

Seconded. Besides, music isn't even implemented yet, so what's the Bard going to do all day? Stand around at the meeting hall and make friends? We all know where that leads to.