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[DarkWolfXV]

I tried to find my purpose of life every day, and every day i said it has none.
But, you live for yourself, additionaly for other people you love, but not everyone has them.
Try to set up a goal for you, like i will be very rich person in future, even if it seems untrue.
Who knows, it may come real. Know that your next day can be better than this one, and will be if you want to.
Saying to yourself it wont be will make things worse, at worst case, think that day will be same than a good day u had.
Try to do something "crazy" like eat something you didnt eat before, .
Dont drink alcohol, this wont help you, wiki states this is depressant drug, which is quite true.
Your never waste of a person, you got on this world not by some failure, but you were in great plans of universe. Think you are special.

[King DZA]

I didn't say to try finding your purpose. Don't know the reason why you're on this earth? Give yourself a reason. And not something little, easily accomplished thing, either. Something of world shifting proportions.

Know that this little span of time may be the only chance you get to be here, and do something immense with it.

[Jopax]

Chiming in with the rest here, kind of. Been going to college for four months now (give or take a week or two) and I managed to pass one exam and almost pass another one. I have horribly failed my main two subjects two times allready and I am seriously beggining to think this whole ordeal is a big mistake. And as my father nicely put it, it might just be that, because lets face it college isn't for everyone, and I'm beggining to think that it just isn't for me.

And this is my point I guess, maybe college just isn't for you, maybe you are yet to find that one thing you won't drop after starting it, that something that keeps you going despite the crappy stuff that might happen. Take some time and figure it out for yourself, this isn't just about having low self esteem because trust me that won't matter once you find that something that you really enjoy.

Now the question arises what if that something isn't really acceptable or isn't something that can get you by on its own. That's when you combine and compromise, you tell yourself I will do something i loathe or hate because I have to in order to be able to do something that I don't hate, might not be the best way but it helps.

All of this might not seem that coherent or helpful (and probably isn't) but I'm rather shakey and it's getting late, there will be time for facepalming tommorrow.

[chaoticag]

Well, I figured I might as well give everyone an update. Yes, I'm still online, my parents did something sensible for once, and I'm now seeing a psychoanalyst once a week, which I've visited today. Looks like it's a surprisingly common sort of thing among the new generation, at least over here, and I'm kinda surprised a lot of other people had witch doctors try to cure them too.

Anyway, thanks for all the solid advice here, though some of it doesn't apply due to me not being in the US. I'll leave this topic up for as long as it's useful, since it seems other people might need it.

[C27]

Stay strong, dude.
I myself have issues with depression and avoidant personality disorder that I've tried to shove off to the side, but they break through every now and then. It's hard. But we can deal with them and keep going, because what else is there to do?

[eerr]

"Almost nothing seems to matter anymore."

Nothing at all?

[chaoticag]

That, and I tend to feel least crappy before bed, since that's about when I can talk to people stateside.

This being why the title had almost nothing when I started it. My friends matter to me, and my family matters to me (to varying degrees).

[DeadlyLintRoller]

I felt pretty directionless in college. I didn't know what I wanted to do, so I didn't really are about doing very well. I knew I was a smart person and felt like I didn't need to try. So I didn't and my grades slipped. Managed to graduate within 4 years with a useless psychology degree and a 2.62 gpa, which won't get you far. Now I am 29, and in a paper pushing job that, while critical, isn't important enough to garner a decent wage. That's been my life for 6 years now and I've hated every minute of it.

Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before we are ready to make a change in our lives. So a couple of years ago I took matters into my own hands and am self teaching new skills. But now I desperately wish I could redo my college experience with the focus I have now. Here are a few thoughts that I think would have helped me.

1, Quit smoking weed. ok, this is an assumption, but if you are anything like I was, you are probably doing this more than you should and you know it. Excessive dopamine spikes are linked to longer term depression. But don't worry, they'll eventually legalize it, so when you are a working professional, live it up on the weekends, or just live out your retirement years having a ball. But you and I both know that it makes you more complacent with doing nothing in a time where you should be doing something constantly.

2, Get on a regular sleep schedule. I turned day into night, and then back into day. I think people are always going to be creatures of habit. so set a standard bedtime within normal hours and stick to it.

3, Start going to the gym. Your campus probably has one you can use for free, so use it. A strong body supports a strong mind.

4, Never let yourself feel entitled to breaks or a time off. Despite what they say, you can't go crazy by working too much.

5, Make lists of both long term and short term goals. So for long term stuff, things you want to accomplish with 1 to 5 years, like learning a language, or programming, or finishing school etc,. then make lists of what you want to accomplish within the week, preferably that day. Something that is great to do for a day you don't have work or class, the day is completely yours to do with as you please, so don't let time slip by you and get squandered. You are more likely to do something if you identify it as an objective.

Hope I am not sounding too preachy and I hope you feel better.

[Vector]

Despite what they say, you can't go crazy by working too much.

I'm living proof that this is false.  Where do you think people get mathematicians from, anyway?

[DeadlyLintRoller]

A ha! So you have to be crazy to become a mathematician, therefore, it was not the work that made you crazy.

[Vector]

A ha! So you have to be crazy to become a mathematician, therefore, it was not the work that made you crazy.

No, the work made me feel like my mind was peeling apart, and led me to realize that my professors were not only peeled, but also pared.  You don't have to be crazy to be a mathematician, but the arduous nature of the work seems to bring out any underlying tendencies one wouldn't normally run into.

[_DivideByZero_]

I would normally suggest heading to a church and talking to a pastor, but for all I know the church I go to is probably one of the better ones in the country. You might not be quite as lucky.

[chaoticag]

I would normally suggest heading to a church and talking to a pastor, but for all I know the church I go to is probably one of the better ones in the country. You might not be quite as lucky.

I'm an atheist, plus formerly a Muslim, so no, this isn't good advice in my case.

[Ghills]

It sounds like your parents are taking some steps to help, so that's good.  Psychoanalysis isn't always as helpful as people think it is, but it's great to know that you and your family are taking this seriously.

In case the person you're seeing hasn't brought it up, have you tried changing the mental habits that got you into this emotional deadspace?  It's called cognitive therapy or something like that. The Feeling Good books did wonders for helping with people I know.

[_DivideByZero_]

I would normally suggest heading to a church and talking to a pastor, but for all I know the church I go to is probably one of the better ones in the country. You might not be quite as lucky.

I'm an atheist, plus formerly a Muslim, so no, this isn't good advice in my case.

Exactly. That means you need it more.